The Sidewise Awards

A couple of folks I know, including commenter Jess Nevins, are among the nominees for a Sidewise Award. Congrats to all.

Best Short Form:

Elizabeth Bear, “Les Innocents/Lumiere” (in New Amsterdam, Subterranean Press)
Michael Flynn, “Quaestiones Super Caelo Et Mundo” (in Analog, 7/07)
Matthew Johnson, “Public Safety” (in Asimov’s, 3/07)
Jess Nevins, “An Alternate History of Chinese Science Fiction” (in No Fear of the Future, May 17, 2007)
Chris Roberson, “Metal Dragon Year” (in Interzone, 12/07)
Kristine Kathryn Rusch, “Recovering Apollo 8″ (in Asimov’s, 2/07)
John Scalzi, “Missives from Possible Futures #1: Alternate History Search Results” (in Subterranean Magazine, Winter 2007)

Best Long Form:

Michael Chabon, The Yiddish Policemen’s Union (HarperCollins)
Robert Conroy, 1945: A Novel (Ballantine Books)
Mary Gentle, Ilario (The Lion’s Eye and The Stone Golem) (Eos)
Jay Lake, Mainspring (Tor Books)
Sophia McDougall, Rome Burning (Orion)
Jo Walton, Ha’penny (Tor Books)

Side by Side #7

I loved this book when I read it in 1971. I also liked Rifkin's Ladyfingers from Gold Medal and his western, King Fisher's Road. Plus another good one, McQuaid, a Putnam hardcover that was reprinted by Berkley.

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp

Sure Halloween is a long way off, but it's never to early to make sure your son and daughter have the right outfits.

The 100 Best Films

The 100 best films - drama and thriller/action - Telegraph: "You'll laugh, you'll cry and you may angrily demand to know why we've snubbed Meg Ryan in our highly subjective, yet infinitely debatable list of the greatest films of all time."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

News 8 Austin | 24 Hour Local News | TOP STORIES | Cedar Park church helps ease gas price burden: "If gas prices are getting you down, a Cedar Park church would like to help.

As part of its 'Faith in Action Weekend,' members of Highpoint Fellowship Church have struck a deal with an Exxon station to sell gas for $2.49 a gallon on Sunday, April 27.

They've actually bought down the price in order to help people who are struggling because of the high gas prices."

Croc Update (Prestigious Art Exhibit Edition)

Photo at the link.

Pantagraph.com | Life | Sculptures reveal artist's inner thoughts: "In the art piece 'Crocodile Tears,' a weeping crocodile towers above a girl. She extends her left hand, touching the creature's chest in a show of comfort. | Photo Gallery

She already has lost her right arm, from the elbow down -- presumably to the crocodile, who is feigning tears while poised to consume another of the girl's limbs."

Strong Entertainment for the Unafraid!

The NYT Looks at Self-Publishing

You’re an Author? Me Too! - Essay - Book Review - New York Times: "In short, everyone has a story — and everyone wants to tell it. Fewer people may be reading, but everywhere you turn, Americans are sounding their barbaric yawps over the roofs of the world, as good old Walt Whitman, himself a self-published author, once put it."

Hooray for Bill O'Reilly!

He's here to save the day!

Newsman calls for Miley Cyrus media conference over shocking snaps - Newswatch50.com... We're Always On!: "Outspoken newsman Bill O'Reilly has called for a media conference to discuss revealing new photos of teenage star Miley Cyrus that were recently leaked online.

The pictures, which show the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star posing in nothing but lingerie as she lounges on an unnamed boy's lap, have caused outrage.

Fox News anchor O'Reilly is keen to get to the bottom of the scandal - and find out why and how the photos were leaked online earlier this week."

Eight '80s Movies that Should Have Been Hits

I've seen all of these. Some of them I really, really like.

IFMagazine: "Listmania: EIGHT 1980s MOVIES THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HITS ... BUT WERE FLOPS."

50 Best Cult Books

The Telegraph has another interesting list.

50 best cult books - Telegraph: "Our critics present a selection of history's most notable cult writing. Some is classic. Some is catastrophic. All of it had the power to inspire."

Roger Ebert on JOE VS. THE VOLCANO

Roger Ebert's Journal: "APRIL 25, 2008--Every year I keep meaning to include 'Joe vs. the Volcano' in Ebertfest, and every year something else squeezes it out, some film more urgently requiring our immediate attention, you see. The 1990 John Patrick Shanley film, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, was about a wage slave in a factory where dark clouds lower o'er the sky; he is told he has a Brain Cloud, with only five months to live. How this leaves him to become a candidate for human sacrifice in the South Seas follows a long and winding road, in a film that was a failure in every possible way except that I loved it."

Roger Ebert, Vince Keenan, me, and Judy. That's about all I know who feel this way.

Happy Birthday, Howard Garis!

I see on Bill Peschel's blog (Reader's Almanac), that today's the birthday of the great Howard Garis. Rather than repeat myself, I'll direct you to this post I did a couple of years ago.

Scarlett Johansson Does Tom Waits

Does his songs, that is. On a CD. I read about this a while back, and I thought, "She can sing?" Well, I've been listening to the first single ("Falling Down") from the CD via Rhapsody, and I'd have to say that the jury is still out. The single is mesmerizing, and I like the production, but I'm not so sure about the alleged singing. Not that it matters, I suppose. If you want to get right down to it, Tom Waits doesn't exactly sing, either. I like this one enough to listen to the rest of the CD when it's released.

Tagged

Barbara Fister has put the tag on me. The meme is this: Pick up the nearest book, turn to page 123, find the fifth sentence from the top of the page, and copy down the next three sentences. Since I'm sitting in MD Anderson while Judy enjoys a CT-Scan, the book nearest me is the one I brought to read, Jeffrey Ford's The Shadow Year. Here are the sentences:

"A terrible drunk. Once he drove his motorcycle through a plate-glass window and was hospitalized for three months."

I waited for her to go on, but she didn't.

Doesn't tell you much, does it? I'll have a review of the book here in a few days, and then you can find out what it's all about.

I'm too lazy to tag anyone else.

The Book You Have to Read

Patti Abbott came up with this idea. She has a great gator photo on her blog, so naturally I went along with her suggestion that some bloggers write about "forgotten" books, books that influenced them but that seem in danger of disappearing. So I thought I'd start with City by Clifford Simak.

We're talking here about one of my favorite books by one of my favorite SF writers. Simak died 20 years ago, and while I don't know for sure, I suspect that few of his books remain in print in mass market editions. City is a "fix-up" book, composed of a series of chapters that originally appeared as short stories. Each story is a tale about the legendary creature known as "man" and what happened to him. It's about the end of the world, in a way, and it ends not with a bang, but a whimper, just as Eliot predicted. Except for the dogs, Jenkins, a robot, becomes the most human figure in the book, which contains as one of the chapters what is possibly my favorite SF story, "Desertion."

I really loved this book when I first read it more than 50 years ago. I've read it several times since, and I still feel the same way. "Desertion" never gets old, and that last line slays me every single time. I still think it's one of the best I ever read. Check it out.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

'Hoodies' were the scourge of Medieval London - Telegraph: "They are the symbol of today's disaffected youth but a historian has revealed that the hoodie-wearing yob is not just a modern problem.

Professor Robert Bartlett, who is an expert on the Middle Ages, said hooded tops were also the garment of choice for 12th-century juvenile delinquents.

The teenage apprentice boys of London were lawless, violent and the scourge of the capital."

Behold the Awesomeness

My Profile Isn't Posted

iWon News - Paris Hilton talks about public search for new best friend: "LOS ANGELES (AP) - More than 85,000 people want to be Paris Hilton's best friend.

The 27-year-old is using the Internet to cast potential friends for her new reality show, 'Paris Hilton's My New BFF.' The MTV series, which begins production next month, will follow 20 contestants as they live together and vie for the chance to be Hilton's permanent plus-one.

Thousands of candidates have posted profiles and videos on ParisBFF.com in hopes of winning a spot on the show. Visitors to the site can vote for their favorites, and the top vote-getters will be added to the cast, producers said."

Hat tip to Jeff Meyerson.

Welcome to Russia, er, New York

wcbstv.com - Machine-Gun-Toting Officers To Patrol NYC Subway: "NEW YORK (CBS) ― More protection against terrorists is coming to a subway station near you. Starting Thursday, special bomb teams - 'Torch Teams' - will be toting submachine guns and bringing bomb-sniffing dogs onto the platforms and into the trains."

What's Going on around Here?

Today from 1-4 pm, I'll be speaking at a mystery writers conference at theTomball College & Community Library, Meeting Room, L129 on the first floor. The topic is Myth or Truth: How Our Past Influences Our Writing. I'm not at all sure I know what that means, but I'll bet the other panelists (John Foxjohn, Russ Hall, Ayn Hunt, William Manchee, Rosemary Poole-Carter, Jo Ann Power, Leann Sweeney, Bev Vincent, and Gayle Wigglesworth) have it all figured out. There'll be refreshments, and everyone will be selling and signing books. It's a free event, so if you're in the area, drop by and say "hey."

After we leave Tomball, Judy and I will drive back to Houston and spend the night in our daughter's townhouse. We'd come back here, but Judy has to be at MD Anderson at 7:00 on Friday morning. It'll be easier just to stay in Houston. Judy will be having her first post-chemo testing. We'll get the results on Wednesday, so keep a good thought.

Alexander the Great Update

Alexander the Great's "Crown," Shield Discovered?: "An ancient Greek tomb thought to have held the body of Alexander the Great's father is actually that of Alexander's half brother, researchers say.

This may mean that some of the artifacts found in the tomb—including a helmet, shield, and silver 'crown'—originally belonged to Alexander the Great himself. Alexander's half brother is thought to have claimed these royal trappings after Alexander's death.

The tomb was one of three royal Macedonian burials excavated in 1977 by archaeologists working in the northern Greek village of Vergina."

Penis Theft Panic Hits City

Penis theft panic hits city.. | Oddly Enough | Reuters: "KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur."

Secrets of Elvis Revealed!

Okay, so it's only one secret. Hat tip to Jeff Meyerson.

Elvis made secret visit to Britain | NEWS.com.au: "ROCK'n'Roll legend Elvis Presley did in fact visit Britain, it was revealed yesterday, with a secret visit to London accompanied by another rocker.

For more than half a century it was generally accepted the 'King' only made a fleeting transit visit to Scotland in 1960 - much to the disappointment of his legion of UK fans.

But theatre producer Bill Kenwright has revealed in a radio interview that Presley, then 23, managed to go sightseeing in London with Cockney singer Tommy Steele."

Will the Persecution Never End?

Paris Hilton Banned From A Russian Hotel - Starpulse Entertainment News Blog: "Paris HiltonSocialite Paris Hilton has reportedly been banned from a top Russian hotel - after signing her name on its expensive wallpaper. The hotel heiress, 27, wrote 'Paris Moscow 2008' in a black marker pen in $16,000 -a-night suite in the Hyatt Hotel in the Russian capital."

I Have Always Said This Was a G-Rated Blog

Created by OnePlusYou

8 Pointless Rules all Comic Book Movies Follow

From Cracked.

Robocop

Robotic vigilante: Homemade 'Bum Bot' patrols in Atlanta - Yahoo! News: "ATLANTA - Cars passing O'Terrill's pub screech to a halt at the sight of a 300-pound, waist-high robot marked 'SECURITY' rolling through downtown long after dark.

The regulars hardly glance outside. They've seen bar owner Rufus Terrill's invention on patrol before — its bright red lights and even brighter spot light blazing, infrared video camera filming and water cannon at the ready in the spinning turret on top.

'You're trespassing. That's private property,' Terrill scolds an older man through the robot's loudspeaker. The man is sitting at the edge of the driveway to a child care center down the street. 'Go on.'"

The Girl Who Killed Things -- Talmage Powell

Talmage Powell was one of those guys who never cracked my Top Ten list, but he wrote some good paperback originals (try the Ed Rivers series, for example). The Girl Who Killed Things is a pretty good try at a Gold Medal book, and it's certainly influenced by James M. Cain (the ending is strongly reminiscent of Postman, at least to me), but it's not up to Cain's level. It's a good book, just not a great one.

Enos Drake goes to Atlanta on business and meets Vi. He thinks she's perfect (he hasn't read any Cain or any Gold Medal books). Drake's from an old, wealthy family in his small town, and he doesn't ask Vi about her background before they marry. When he gets into trouble with a conniving business partner, Vi has the perfect solution: kill the guy. It would be wrong for me to tell you what happens after that. Let's just say that things sort of go as planned, and then they don't. And after they don't, it's downhill from there. You know what I mean.

Good pacing, some nice twists, and some nice swampy local color. Worth checking out.

Update: In a comment below, Todd Mason asks about Zenith Books. So I consulted my copy of Mass Market Publishing in America, edited by some guy named Crider, and read the Zenith article, written by some guy named Pronzini. He says that Zenith was born in 1957 and lasted a couple of years. It was created from the assets of Lion Books, so some titles were originally intended for that imprint. Best-known title: Damon Knight's The People Maker.

Scott Cupp Update

Scott Cupp's new, improved webpage is up, with links to a number of free (and good) stories, not to mention other stuff. Click here to check it out.

UFO Update Update

Phoenix man: Neighbor caused mysterious lights: "There could be a less-than-supernatural explanation behind the strange lights that appeared over Phoenix on Monday night, according to one Phoenix man.

Lino Mailo, 44, said he saw his neighbor launch several helium balloons with flares attached to them from the back porch of his north Phoenix home. Mailo said the balloons took off about 8 p.m., right before the mysterious lights were spotted.

“It's pretty tricky, because the higher the balloons get, the harder it is to tell what they are,” Mailo said."

10 Best Robbery Gone Wrong Scenes

Click here.

Hat tip to Neatorama.

Happy Birthday, William Shakespeare

The most interesting Shakespeare books, movies, and Web sites. - By Ron Rosenbaum - Slate Magazine: "America celebrates Shakespeare's birthday this April 23 with a sonnet contest at the Folger Library and festivities at New York's Shakespeare Society. But as Peter Ackroyd's recent Shakespeare: The Biography reminds us, we're not sure if April 23 was the day Shakespeare was born or the day his birth was assigned."

UFO Update

They're over Phoenix (with video).

And Florida (also with video).

We're from the TSA . . .

. . . and by golly, we're going to stop attacks by cheese!

Airport screeners to get more security training - News- msnbc.com: "WASHINGTON - Airport screeners are about to get new security training designed to help them think creatively about possible threats — including those they have never thought of.

“We have to prepare for attacks that don’t fit our procedures,” such as the traveler who stuffed a block of cheese wrapped in wire into a checked bag, Transportation Security Administration Administrator Kip Hawley told reporters."

Gator Update (Looking for Rachel Ray Edition)

Woman finds 8-foot gator in her kitchen - 04/22/2008 - MiamiHerald.com: "OLDSMAR --
This alligator made himself at home in Pinellas County. Authorities say 69-year-old Sandra Frosti of Oldsmar found the eight-foot alligator in her kitchen late Monday night."

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

Update. Here's a link (with video) from Gerard Saylor.

Bond. James Bond.

The Times On-Line has a terrific interactive tour of the James Bond exhibition. The page also includes links to all their Bond articles and Top 10 lists. Click here.

I Had Nothing to Do with This

Stolen crocodile statue returned to france - Halifax Today: "A valuable statue which was stolen from an art gallery in Paris ten years ago is to be returned to the French authorities after it was found in Doncaster.

The bronze statue of a crocodile devouring an antelope, which is worth more than 20,000 Pounds, was discovered in the Auction Rooms in Doncaster town centre in September 2005."

Do You Have Your Artistic License?

If not, you can buy one here.

Hat tip to Boing Boing.

Here's the Plot for Your Next Novel (I Charge 10%)

Former murder case detective held over killing | UK news | guardian.co.uk: "A former Metropolitan police detective has been arrested over the murder of a man whose death he himself investigated.

The arrest was one of six made today in connection with one of Britain's most controversial and high-profile unsolved killings.

Five men were arrested on suspicion of the murder of Daniel Morgan, a 37-year-old private eye who was found dead with an axe in his head in a south London pub car park in 1987.

A sixth man, a serving Met police officer, was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in a public office."

Hmmmmmmm

Christina Ricci Upset By 'Black Snake Moan' Marketing - Starpulse Entertainment News Blog: "Christina RicciChristina Ricci is still bitter about the way her 2007 film Black Snake Moan was marketed - because she felt movie posters and trailers exploited women. The actress played a troubled wild girl who is taken in by Samuel L. Jackson's eccentric bluesman character and chained to his radiator in an attempt to rid her of her demons."

It's about Time!

HAYDEN PANETTIERE - PANETTIERE: 'HILTON IS A GENIUS': "Heroes actress HAYDEN PANETTIERE has spoken out in defence of PARIS HILTON's airheaded party girl image - insisting the heiress is actually a 'genius'.

Panettiere, 19, who has been a close friend of Hilton's for several years, says the 27-year-old socialite is actually more level-headed than the dumb 'character' she projects to the media.

She explains, 'She's a nice girl and a lot brighter than people give her credit (for) but no one sees her like that because she plays this character all the time. She's actually a marketing genius.'"

Gunfighter Jory -- Milton Bass

Okay, don't ask me why the title's not Gunfightr Jory. You'd think it might be, since it follows Mistr Jory and Sherrf Jory. Anyway, it's the fourth and (as far as I know) final book about the character. The first two, Jory and the aforementioned Mistr Jory, were published about 20 years before the final two. Somehow, though, I got the feeling that all the books might have been written around the same time. There's a scene in Gunfighter Jory that seems very 1960s to me. Maybe the first two didn't sell as well as expected, so the last ones came out in paperback much later.

But I digress. In Sherrf Jory, as you may (or may not) recall, Jory becomes sheriff of Barronville and cleans up the town. It's now so clean that Jory's getting bored, and then along come some men from the town council of nearby Leesville. They say that since Jory is sheriff of the whole county, he can't just stay in Barronville. He has to clean up Leesville, too.

Jory agrees to check out Leesville, for a fee, and when he and his deputy, Andy, arrive, they find that the former town marshal, Bart Butler, has put a line of bricks across the main street and seceeded from the rest of the town. Since he owns the only saloon and hotel, he's doing pretty well for himself, and his income is supplemented by the outlaw gang living in his hotel.

Jory gets romantically involved with a woman named Maebeth, and Andy falls for Butler. There's sex, there's drugs (I told you there was a very '60s scene), but there's no rock and roll. There are, however, a piano and a trombone.

This isn't a standard powder-burner, though it has all the elements. I liked it, and I'm sorry there are no more Jory books for me to read. Bass left plenty of threads dangling at the end of this one, and I'd like to know what happened to Jory, to Andy, and to the other two women who are after Jory. I guess I never will, though.

The Bourne Ultimatum

This movie really zips along. Jason Bourne's on the run again, trying to discover the secret of his identity, and the CIA's still trying to stop him, no matter who gets killed along the way, because there's a big, dark secret to be covered up. Luckily there's at least one CIA operative who's willing to help Bourne, though she's pretty much powerless for most of the picture.

I've never been much of a Matt Damon fan, but he does Bourne well, and I've enjoyed him in the three movies about the character, despite the fact that he's depressed all the time. I also didn't mind the camera work that seems to have induced Blair-Witch symptoms in some people. Judy said she had to close her eyes at times.

Lots of nice location shooting, non-stop action, a nicely convoluted story, and a good cast throughout. The movie reminded me of why I read a trailer load or two of spy fiction back around 40 years ago. It was a great way to spend an evening.

Croc Update (Vigilante Edition)

Crocodile kills man accused of illegal logging in Myanmar wildlife sanctuary - International Herald Tribune: "YANGON, Myanmar: A crocodile attacked and killed a man who was under arrest for alleged illegal logging in Myanmar, the country's state-run newspaper reported Sunday."

Croc Update (Stolen Brain Edition)

Or he could be following in the footsteps of Victor Frankenstein.

Sunday News: "POLICE in Hwange are on the look out for a suspect who killed a crocodile and removed its brains amid revelations that it could be used for poisoining unsuspecting individuals, it has been learnt.

The Hwange Colliery Company’s Risk and Control department which comprises the coal mining giant’s security personel has called upon residents to promptly report any cases of food poisoning or any person found in position of crocodile brains.
The crocodile was killed at a dam in Madumabisa compound and only its brains were found missing."

Snakes in a Coliseum

The Brownwood Bulletin - Brownwood, TX > News > From snakes, to wildflowers, to cleanup projects, take your pick: "The 44th annual Lone Star Fair and Expo and Brownwood Jaycees Rattlesnake Roundup runs from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. today and from noon to 6 p.m. Sunday at the Brownwood Coliseum. Arts and crafts vendors, educational presentations involving snakes and Guinness world record holder Jackie Bibby will be featured. Admission is $3 for adults and $1 for children."

We went to the Rattlesnake Roundup several times when we lived in Brownwood. I'm not fond of snakes, but it was always an interesting experience.

Happy Birthday, Hugh O'Brian

Almost let this one slip by. Age 83 today. To some of us, he'll always be Wyatt Earp.

Even in Russia . . .

. . . Paris Hilton gets no respect.

Thanks to John Duke for the link.

Jurassic Park . . .

. . . in 30 seconds, with bunnies.

I Wish I Were Going to be Around for This Stuff

Teleportation and forcefields possible within decades, says Professor Michio Kaku - Telegraph: "Teleportation and forcefields could become scientific realities within decades, and time travel will also be possible in the future, according to one of the world's leading physicists.

Professor Michio Kaku of City University in New York has studied a range of scientific 'impossibilities' and concluded that most will almost certainly be achieved as our knowledge expands.

Applying the rule that unless something breaks a law of physics 'then it's not only possible, it is sure to be built someday', Prof Kaku has established a hierarchy of 'impossibilities', separating those phenomena that are sure to remain science fiction from those which are likely to become reality at some point in the future.

Teleportation, telepathy, forcefields and invisibility are Class 1 impossibilities, meaning they are likely to be realisable within a few decades or at most a century."

Shell Game -- Richard Powell

I mentioned not long ago that this book would be half of a Stark House double in June. I couldn't wait until then to read it, though. Powell's books are hard to describe. He has a light touch and a breezy style that's hardly dated at all since the book's original publication back in 1950. You can bet that the Florida setting, however, has changed tremendously.

William Stuart, and adman and avid shell collector, is vacationing in Florida when he meets a frightened young woman one evening on the beach. She tells him a story, that's pretty obviously not true and gets him to help her. He continues to help her, with varying degrees of success, even after it appears that she might be guilty of murder. There's a dogged local police chief on her trail, assisted by a big-city cop, also on vacation. Everybody has a story, but not everybody is what he or she seems. Powell mixes it all up into a fast-moving and funny story that I thoroughly enjoyed. I'm happy that Stark House and Hard Case Crime are bringing Powell back into print.

He's Dead, Jim

Click here.

Want to Remember Everything?

Evernote: Software to help you remember everything, forever - Machinist - Salon.com: "Evernote: Software to help you remember everything, forever

By photographing and saving all that you encounter, you can build a search engine for your life."

Currently Evernote is free. There's a link in the article you can click for your free invitation to join. (Only 3000 available.) I signed up just to check it out.

Retro-Pulp Movie Ads

Well, that's what they call 'em at Scenes from the Morgue. No matter what you call 'em, they're great. This is must-see stuff.

Happy Birthday, Haley Mills!

Age 62 today.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Grant aids Rice-UT bid to regrow injured troops' bones | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "Two Houston institutions will step up their work growing bone tissue for facial injuries as part of a mammoth national effort to bring regenerative medicine breakthroughs to wounded soldiers.

The $250 million initiative, the biggest to date involving the young science, is a response to the high number of traumatic injuries being suffered in Iraq and Afghanistan. The numbers reflect battlefield medicine advances that have yielded unprecedented survival rates but also have left many soldiers disabled.

'The (initiative) will work to develop techniques that help to make our soldiers whole again,' Army Surgeon General Eric Schoomaker said at its announcement at the Pentagon on Thursday. '(It) will use the soldiers' own stem cells to repair nerve damage, regrow muscles and tendons, repair bone wounds, help them heal without scarring ... and help in the cranial reconstruction of severe head injuries.'"

Gator Update (Duct Tape Edition)

The Associated Press: Students arrested for allegedly trying to steal baby gator: "DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Five Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University students are behind bars for trying to steal a baby alligator from a miniature golf course in Daytona Beach.

Police say the students were booked into the Volusia County Jail Thursday morning on a felony charge of attempting to capture an alligator.

The students are accused of climbing down into the alligator exhibit at the Congo River Miniature Golf Course with duct tape. The students ran when they were spotted by officers. But the students were eventually caught."

20 Greatest Movie Fight Scenes

Thanks to Walter Satterthwait for this link.

Unsecured Load

Truckload of human feces spills on Indiana roadway - Yahoo! News: "CROWN POINT, Indiana - Indiana 55 has reopened after a truckload of human feces spilled onto the roadway in northwestern Indiana's Crown Point.

The driver told police he was hauling treated human feces from a water recycling plant in Portage when the load spilled about 10:30 a.m. Thursday.

The Lake County hazardous materials response team came to clean up the mess, along with the Crown Point Fire Department and Indiana State Police.

The northbound and southbound lanes of the highway were closed during the cleanup.

The Indiana Department of Transportation cited the driver for an unsecured load."

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

Didn't Poe Write this Story?

New Jersey mayor finds lost cat in home's wall: "NORTH ARLINGTON, N.J. -- Mayor Peter Massa put out a citywide cat call when his Maine Coon disappeared. Massa had an automatic call sent to 8,500 voters on Wednesday asking for help finding Max.

Turns out he didn't have to look that far. Massa's wife, Val, says 14-year-old Max was found inside a wall of their house Thursday morning. He had been missing since Tuesday."

Top 10 Settings for James Bond Novels

Read more about Jamaica and nine other settings for Bond novels at the link.

Top 10 Bond locations - Times Online: "Bond fans have much to thank Jamaica for.

“It was a naked girl, with her back to him. She was not quite naked. She wore a broad leather belt round her waist with a hunting knife in a leather sheath at her right hip. The belt made her nakedness extraordinarily erotic…

'The whole scene, the empty beach, the green and blue sea, the naked girl with the strands of fair hair, reminded Bond of something. He searched his mind. Yes, she was Botticelli’s Venus, seen from behind.” (Dr No)."

If You Can't Get Enough of the Houston Texas Cheerleaders . . .

. . . there's a blog devoted to them.

Top 10 Gambling Songs

You've already guessed at least one of these.

Wanna Go to Thrillerfest for Free?

Not only does Thrillerfest present a unique opportunity to mingle with bestselling authors such as Sandra Brown, James Patterson, Kathy Reichs, and many more, they’ll also be sharing inside stories of how they achieved their success and what inspires them. Additionally, this year more than 35 top literary agents have signed up to hear pitches as part of Agentfest, a truly unique opportunity for aspiring writers.

We’re currently running a contest where the prize is a free ticket to attend Thrillerfest…more information is available here:

http://www.thrillerwriters.org/subscribe.php

or go to http://www.thrillerfest.org for more information

Space Westerns

Horse opera meets space opera, right here. Great stuff, and it's all free for the reading.

Hat tip to Vince Keenan and to Boing Boing.

I, Myself, Would Remain Calm . . .

. . . if the Internet disappeared.

Sheriff Dan Rhodes Would Never Do This

Police: Okla. Sheriff Ran Sex-Slave Operation From Jail - Oklahoma City News Story - KOCO Oklahoma City: "ARAPAHO, Okla. -- An Oklahoma sheriff resigned after an investigation reveals he was running a sex-slave operation from his jail, police said.

Michael Burgess surrendered to Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation agents and posted bond Wednesday night, hours after he resigned as Custer County sheriff amid 35 felony charges, including accusations of forcible oral sodomy, kidnapping, rape and perjury. Investigators said at one point Burgess oversaw wet T-shirt contests at the Custer County Jail."

I Need to Make a Quick Trip to Ft. Worth

But Judy might object. She doesn't appreciate art.

Star-Telegram.com: | 04/17/2008 | For the home decorator who needs a 12-foot stuffed crocodile: "FORT WORTH -- Want to distinguish your home's decor from your friends'?

How about adding a 12-foot crocodile to your living room, or a stuffed baboon for your foyer? And can you really do rustic without a buffalo shoulder mount?

More than 700 taxidermy items, including the crocodile, are up for auction this weekend at Will Rogers Memorial Center. The mounts come from the liquidation of a natural history museum and from private collections of big-game safari hunters."

Tame Bill Hickok

There's probably a good western novel in this, if one hasn't been written already.

Ian Fleming Centenary Exhibit

Here are some nice photos from the museum exhibit that I mentioned earlier.

Remember Crystal Pepsi?

How about Keebler's Tato Skins?

No Comment Department

BBC NEWS | Health | Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk': "Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.

They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk."

Free Story

I'm sure all of you have read "Cranked," my Edgar-nominated story, by now. But if you want to read it again, you can to to the new site for Damned Near Dead, click on the link provided there, and have a look.

Top 20 Classic Hollywood Tough Guys

The list is here. A pretty good one, too.

Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Update

It's a hoax.

Gator Update (Movie Edition)

Here's a too-brief look at some of the gator movies available on DVD.

Here Comes the Judge

The Houston Texans Cheeerleader judge, that is.

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

James Bond in the Musuem

Ian Fleming's James Bond: what links WW2 with the character 007 - Times Online: "The link between creator, character and military history is the subject of For Your Eyes Only: Ian Fleming and James Bond, a new exhibition at the Imperial War Museum, London. James Taylor, the exhibition’s curator, acknowledges that the link between a fictional character and real history can seem tenuous, but is adamant that both Fleming and Bond belong."

Pimping for the Crimedog

Crimedog One: METHOD TO THE (SALES) MADNESS: "I DECLARE MAY 12th, 2008, TO BE 'PSYCHOBILLY MONDAY'

On that day, tell the big boys you want Yellow Medicine in your hands, and you want the Big Fucking Kid on the Block, Barnes & Noble, to sell it to you. But only because you didn't catch me on tour or find the book at the super-awesome indie joint near you (you can try this at Borders, too. But I'm just thinking if we all concentrate our efforts...)"

PWA Shamus Awards

Want to submit your book? Click here for the requirements and deadlines.

Stranger in Paradise -- Robert B. Parker

Crow, the self-described full-blood Apache, who appeared in an earlier Jesse Stone novel, returns for this one. As the name might tell you, he's a lot like Hawk, from the Spenser novels, only different. He's sort of what Hawk would be if not for Spenser's good influence, I guess, and he's looking for the daughter of a Florida mob boss. Stone, for reasons of his own, agrees to help. The girl might remind you of other troubled teens from Parker's other books, and I have a feeling we'll be hearing more about her in the future.

The plot is pretty straightforward, with the usual side trips to Stone's shrink, who's helping him understand his relationship with Susan, er, I mean Jill. There's some shooting and there's plenty of "he's so complete and inward" and that kind of thing.

And talk about short paragraphs and white space! I almost went snowblind. I thought at times that Parker was channeling Ross Spencer (now there's an in-joke for you).

Naturally I liked the book, but then I like pretty much everything by Parker. I'm uncritical when it comes to Parker's books. I can't help it. If you're a Parker fan, and there must be a few left out there besides me, you'll like it, too.

Hazel Court, R. I. P.

Just hear the news of Hazel Court's passing from Doc Quatermass. You can watch the entire film of Devil Girl from Mars right here, if you're so inclined. Or you can see her here as "the Devil's own darling."

Sherrf Jory -- Milton Bass

Unlike the first two books in the series, this one was a paperback original. Jory's 17 now, and he's killed 18 men. He quickly kills a couple more before going back to Barronville, the place he'd left at the end of the first novel. Things have changed a lot, and the town's looking for a sheriff. Jory takes the job, which gives him the most responsibility he's had yet. He tries to live up to it, and he makes some more interesting decisions. In Mistr Jory, he makes a black man a section boss. This time, he appoints a woman as his deputy. She's quite a woman, too, as it turns out, as tough as Jory, if not tougher.

Jory runs into the usual troubles a sheriff has when a big rancher and his hands think they're above the law, and the ending of the book probably won't come as a surprise to anybody. Bass handles it effectively, though, and this time Jory finds out that people are maybe a little better, and braver, than he thought they were, or at least some of them are.

One thing I forgot to mention about the earlier books in the series is that Jory is a voracious eater. He remains one here, but the bad dreams and the barfing have pretty much disappeared. A good sign, I guess, but I'll have to wait until Gunfighter Jory arrives to find out for sure.

For You Procrastinators (You Know Who You Are)

10 tips for tax day - The Boston Globe: "Time is nearly up for tax procrastinators. The deadline for filing state and federal taxes is midnight tonight. If you're still reading this, you probably need all the help you can get. Here are some suggestions and tips, compiled by Globe correspondent Stephanie Peters."

Gator Update (Brazoria Edition)

Brazoria is a small community only a few miles from Alvin.

The Facts: "BRAZORIA — A water moccasin wasn’t the most unusual thing police found in the late-model Buick of a man charged with burglary this weekend.

A day after police found a 4-1/2-foot long water moccasin in the car of William Eric Johnson, authorities discovered a live, 6-foot alligator lounging in his back seat.

“It was like Crocodile Dundee, Brazoria style,” Brazoria Police Chief Neal Longbotham said."

Someone Somewhere is Hoppin' Mad

Youths find human leg on South Padre Island beach | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "BROWNSVILLE — Officials on South Padre Island were looking for leads today after a human leg with a sneaker attached washed up on the beach here.

Some youths spotted the leg on the beach Sunday morning about five miles north of the town of South Padre, said Lt. Arnold Flores of the Cameron County park rangers."

Paperback Covers!

Here's an entertaining site by someone who likes to comment on old paperback covers. Well worth your time.

Thanks to Mark Murphy for the tip.

Mistr Jory -- Milton Bass

This second book in the Jory series, like the first, appeared in hardcover before being reprinted in paperback. This time, Jory saves a man's life and is rewarded by being made foreman of a huge ranch. Though he'd fled this responsibility before, he figures he'll make the best of things, and he manages to do pretty well when confronted with situations demanding that he make big decisions.

Things aren't going well at the ranch, however. Cattle are disappearing and being poisoned. Jory can't figure out what's going on, but neither can anyone else. The ranch house is a psycho-sexual mess, and Jory falls hard for the daughter of a preacher who lives there. He also makes a friend or two, or thinks he does.

This time out, Jory learns a good bit, including the fact that hardly anyone is what he (or she) appears to be. He also learns that forswearing his guns isn't going to lead to anything good. Jory's a gunhand whether he likes it or not. This time out there are still some dreams and barfing, but not as much of either. Jory's growing up a little more. [SPOILER ALERT: But once again he lights out for the territory at the end. END SPOILER ALERT]

Top 10 Hitmen

10 best hitmen: why the screen loves a deadly assassin - Times Online: "From The Jackal to Nikita, the screen loves a deadly assassin. Kevin Maher gets the Top Ten movie hitmen in his sights: plus clips."

Yet Another Great Trailer

Keep in mind folks, that I saw all these movies during their original release. No wonder my brain rotted.

Lonely Planet Update

Lonely Planet Rejects Fabrication Claim: "SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Lonely Planet said Monday it stands by the accuracy of its travel guides following an author's claims that he plagiarized and invented sections of the books.

Lonely Planet is reviewing the books that author Thomas Kohnstamm contributed to but has so far found nothing inaccurate, said Piers Pickard, Lonely Planet's guide book publisher. He said Lonely Planet's reputation was built on the integrity of its books and any inaccuracies would be quickly fixed."

Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape

So Britney and Paris are just part of the tradition.

HARDCORE MARILYN - New York Post: "The footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-'60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said."

It's National Library Week!

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Hat tip to Paul Bishop.

Star-Telegram.com: | 04/12/2008 | Jurors open pocketbooks to help Fort Worth-area crime victim: "FORT WORTH -- On Friday afternoon, a Tarrant County jury sentenced an Azle woman to five years in prison and assessed a $10,000 fine for stealing a mentally impaired man's life savings.

But they didn't stop there.

Jurors decided after the trial that they wanted to donate money to 58-year-old Johnny Bryant to help him recoup some of his loss. Most were going to start with the $166 they received for their jury service."

Space Vulture -- Gary K. Wolf and Archbishop John J. Myers

In one of the paragraphs on the back cover of this book, Gene Wolfe blurbs, ". . . it has the taste and feel and bouquet of the real thing it's Planet Stories come all the way back to roaring life again!"

I beg to differ.

In spite of the two introductions in which the authors proclaim their affection for the space operas of the early '50s, this book, intended as their tribute to them, doesn't even come close. I was sorely disappointed in the first fifty or sixty pages, and I doubt I'll be reading any more.

What's the problem? The whole approach is wrong. This isn't so much a pastiche of those old SF adventures as a parody. The style is arch and knowing, as if the two writers are nudging and winking at each other with every line. Give me the real thing. Edmond Hamilton, Robert Silverberg, Milton Lesser, Leigh Brackett, and others who wrote for the SF digests gave you slam-bang adventure without the winks and nudges. It was high-spirited stuff, but it was mostly played straight. That's what I liked about it, and that's why I gave up on Space Vulture. Maybe it will work for everybody else, but it just doesn't work for me.

Here's a sample of the prose: "As the only person known to tap the human brain's total power, Space Vulture's Common IQ rating was off the scale, too high to be measured. His best self-estimate put it at 850, several hundred points above the galaxy's largest artificially intelligent computer."

Grammar problems aside, it seems a lot like parody to me. I'll take the Good Old Stuff any day.

Update: I forgot to mention that the book's over 300 pages. I doubt any novel by Planet Stories writer would be more than 200 back in the '50s.

Dinosaur for Sale

Great Falls Tribune - www.greatfallstribune.com - Great Falls, MT: "BROWNING — Facing worsening budget shortfalls, the Blackfeet Nation is trying to sell off one of its treasures — a perfectly preserved 74-million-year-old baby dinosaur.

'Some people do want to sell off that dinosaur,' Blackfeet Chairman Earl Old Person said last week. 'And the business council has authorized it.'"

"The world has turned bitter and sour in my mouth. It is no good, the taste of ashes is in the wind. The old times are gone."
-- Howard Waldrop, "Mary Margaret Road-Grader"

Jory -- Milton Bass

Long years ago, I read Jory in (I think) a Fawcett paperback edition. The other day, I happened to see it in a Signet edition, along with two sequels I hadn't read, Mistr Jory and Sherrf Jory. (Those spellings are as they appear on the books. I guess Bass was an early texting pioneer.) For some reason, I bought the books. When I got home, I looked on the Internet and discovered that there was a fourth, Gunfighter Jory, and I figured I'd get a copy of that, too, until I saw this. I figured maybe I didn't need it, after all, but a little searching finally led me to a copy for two bucks, so I ordered it. Then I re-read Jory.

It wasn't as I'd remembered it. Well, that's not entirely true. I just remembered some parts better than others. Jory's a kid, only around 15, whose mother is dead and whose father's a drunk. When someone kills his father, Jory gets revenge. Then he leaves town.

He joins a group of men who are taking a herd of horses to a big ranch for a man named Barron. By the time they arrive, Jory has become The Fastest Gun Alive.

This is a coming-of-age book, and obviously Bass was aiming for a more literary approach than the usual western. Jory dreams a lot, has fevers, and barfs all the time. At the end [SPOILER ALERT], he lights out for the territory, having grown up a little but not enough to accept the responsibilities offered to him. In each of the succeeding books, he learns a little more.

For some reason, I liked this book. I can't explain it, but I went right on and read the next two, which I'll report on eventually. For some reason, I've never read any of Bass's Benny Freedman p.i. novels.

Robbie Benson starred in the movie version of Jory, which I've never seen.

Here We Go Again

Lonely Planet writer says he made up part of books | Top News | Reuters: "MELBOURNE (Reuters) - An author for the Lonely Planet travel guidebook series has claimed that he plagiarised and made up large sections of his books, an Australian newspaper reported on Sunday.

Author Thomas Kohnstamm told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper he had worked on more than a dozen books for Lonely Planet, including their titles on Brazil, Colombia, the Caribbean, South America, Venezuela and Chile."

Well, Shut My Mouth

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The South That's a Southern accent you've got there. You may love it, you may hate it, you may swear you don't have it, but whatever the case, we can hear it.
Philadelphia
The Midland
The Northeast
The Inland North
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Link via The Little Professor