Saturday, January 12, 2008

Will the Persecution Never End?

• Hollywood Elsewhere •: "The ickiest and most ignoble promotion riding the coattails of Sundance '98? How about The Hottie and the Nottie (Regent, 2.8), a seemingly vulgar relationship farce (to go by the trailer) starring Paris Hilton, Joel Moore and Christine Lakin? Moore has always been hot for Hilton, makes a pitch, gets the come-hither (total fantasy), has to deal with Hilton's witch-ugly best friend (Lakin covered with grotesque 'ugly' makeup), etc. Obviously a pathetic Troma-type deal."

Update: Hollywood Elsewhere:
"I've said over and over for years that movies like this are a major symbolic reason why Islamic fundamentalists despise Western culture and materialist values, and not without justification.

I have an idea that addresses this. In the same way that primitive South Sea cultures have been known to
sacrifice a young girl to the Gods by throwing her into a volcano, we give Paris Hilton to Al Qeada. We deliver her, sedated, bound and blindfolded, to a location of their choosing and let them do whatever they want to her. It would be our way of saying, 'As far as Paris Hilton is concerned, we get where you're coming from. In fact, we sort of agree with you.'"

As for me, I watched the trailer. Paris is a cinch for an Oscar nom.


Anonymous said...

jeffrey wells has just gone to the top of my list of people i would like to meet while carrying a crowbar.

Unknown said...

I hope there will be video of the meeting.

Anonymous said...

This is the movie that will have the Seventh Seal looking like a Bosco cartoon. This is the movie that will send Citizen Kane to the very bottom of the so called "great" movie slushpile. This is the movie that will make Cecil B. DeMille look like a marionette operator. When the dust clears, and this movie has run its course, when it is all over, all that will remain in the Halls of Greatness will be the works of William Shakespeare, and The Hottie And The Nottie.

Anonymous said...

I think Lewis Black is on your side...EW reports that his new Comedy Central series has him in the role of a judge, weighing the crimes of various folks against each other, and his first pairing mentioned is PH vs. Deadeye Dick Cheney. I suspect that even the Cap'n might allow that a vapid but busy heiress might've done less damage than even a fellow GOP who seems these days to be to the right of Benito M, spiritually and functionally.

Cap'n Bob said...

I do agree, za. For all her sins, Paris hasn't eroded my rights or sacrificed our soldiers in order to profit from the war. And of the two, I'd scrogg her but not him.

Stephen B. said...

That was makeup?

- Steve

...witch-ugly best friend (covered with grotesque 'ugly' makeup)