Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Paris Hilton to Get Award

At Harvard.


Anonymous said...

This clearly has to silence the critics. Which would apparently be everyone but you and me. Now they will all join us, like quiet, subservient sheep, as we lead them to the altar of our praise and admiration of this most wondrous of humans, Paris Hilton.

Anonymous said...


WHOOPS: A Harvard Lampoon staffer called in to tell us that Paris is coming to make a special announcement on Feb. 6. (He wouldn't say what that announcement will be, only that she's not getting the Hasty Pudding Award, as far as he knows.

Also, at this point, we've ruled out Paris receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, Livingston Award, or the Charles Martin Duke Lifeline Earthquake Engineering Award.] guys likely to collaborate on NO CLASS SCION?

Unknown said...

NO CLASS SCION would make a great novel.

Too bad the rumor was false about the HP award. Maybe there's some other major award out there, though.

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact that Miss Hilton will be receiving the Salvation of Mankind award, which will be awarded by the spiritual manifestation of L. Ron Hubbard in the shape and dress of Dionysius, and which she will receive and carry off in her teeth. For reasons I need not go into here. The continuing badinage of this superior creature, who is not only receiving the Hasty Pudding tribute but is also being made the Dean of the college, is sour grapes at best, hellishly evil at worst. Fortunately, my relentless and unflagging praise of her will probably, when she asks God to step down and she sits in the throne, result in her proclaiming me her personal Jesus: and then I shall review at length all the records of her detractors. Zorro.

Anonymous said...

See, you guys've got the prologue already. Looking forward to the full book.