Sea Monster!

Video at link.

Sea serpent off our shore - WPTV NewsChannel 5: "You've heard of the Loch Ness Monster, the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

The sea serpents of legend, right?

A local diver says he's found something not even the Smithsonian can identify and it's right off the shores of Juno Beach.

Beneath the surface of our crystal blue waters live a myriad of marine life.

Sometimes we can see them from the air -- steely eyed shark congregating by the thousands, graceful stingray, gliding along the shallows.

But go deeper

You never know what you'll find. Just ask Jay Garbose.

'This is a first and I've traveled and video'ed all over the world.'

Take a look at what he found and listen to the story -- it's no fish tale.

'I was diving on Juno Ledge. That's about a mile off shore of Juno Beach. At first I thought it was a sea cucumber although no one's every seen one stretched 7 to 10 feet the way this one was. It's sort of grey and putty like and very smooth and taffy like in the way it stretches. Some of my friends and I have sort of dubbed it the living intestine.'

As an underwater videographer, Jay has captured images for National Geographic and the Discovery Channel."

While I Disappear -- Edward Wright

This is the novel I read on the return trip from New York. It's a lot darker than Solomon vs. Lord, as you'd expect if you'd read Clea's Moon, the first novel in the John Ray Horn series.

Horn, as you may recall, is the former cowboy star, down on his luck after serving a prison sentence for assault, who's eking out a living as a bill collector for his old movie sidekick, Mad Crow. As in the previous book, the past comes calling, and once again a murder in the present is tied to what happened years ago. (I guess you could say that the series is taking on something of a Ross Mcdonald aspect.) This time the old crime is a murder that has a strong resemblance to the notorious Fatty Arbuckle case. Horn is drawn into things when he meets one of his former co-stars. She's murdered, and Horn is driven to find out why. And to find the killer.

As was the case in Clea's Moon, the book is filled with great local color from the L. A. of the late '40s. Horn and Mad Crow are complex and compelling characters, and I'm going to have to find the third book in the series now to see what they're up to in that one.

Elaine Viets Update

For those of you in the Houston area, Leann Sweeny and I will be filling in for Elaine at Murder by the Book on May 11 at 6:00 p. m.

sun-sentinel.com: Elaine Viets is about to get an unexpected get-well present. The South Florida novelist had a stroke April 10, three weeks before she was to set out on a national tour to promote her new novel, Murder with Reservations. Tonight would have found her surrounded by friends and fans at the official kickoff of the tour; instead she will be in a hospital bed.

Viets' stroke signaled the start of a new chapter in her life, one that was looking rather bleak until (as should only be expected in the world of award-winning mystery authors) the story took a sudden twist.

"Barbara Parker, Kristy Montee [P.J. Parrish] and Rhonda Pollero [Kelsey Roberts] graciously offered to stand in for Elaine at the book launch party," says Joanne Sinchuk, owner of Murder on the Beach, the book store in Delray Beach where the event is scheduled. The itinerary now calls for a panel discussion and readings from the 57-year-old author's book, followed by refreshments."

Gordon Scott, R. I. P.

Gordon Scott was the guy who did Tarzan in color, or that's how I remember him. The movies, as I recall, were pretty good. I even have a Viewmaster reel of him and Cheetah related to some movie or other. I haven't looked at it in many years, but the images remain vivid. He was also in a couple of Hercules movies, as were many other muscle men. When Judy and I were living in Denton, Texas, during the first year of our marriage, Channel 11 ran a Hercules movie every Sunday afternoon, so I saw far too many of them. (Thanks to Richard Heft for passing along the news.)

baltimoresun.com: Gordon Scott, who played Tarzan in five films during the 1950s, died Monday from complications of surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. He was 79.

Scott, who was befriended by a Brooklyn couple, was taken into the couple's home where he has lived since 2002. "My husband has been a fan of his since he was child. When we were in Hollywood about eight years ago, we looked him up. They called each other several times, and then we invited him for a visit," said Betty Thomas, a local actress whose stage name is Betty Willey.

"He came and never left," she said.

Zola Taylor, R. I. P.

Thanks to Cap'n Bob for the tip. I love Taylor's lead vocal on The Platters' version of "My Old Flame."

Platters Singer Zola Taylor Dies At 69, Singer Zola Taylor Of The Platters Dies At 69; Harmonized On Hits Like `The Great Pretender' - The ShowBuzz: "Zola Taylor, who broke gender barriers in the 1950s as a member of The Platters, harmonizing with her male colleagues on hits like 'The Great Pretender,' has died, her nephew said Tuesday. She was 69.

Taylor, who later gained attention of a different sort as one of three women who claimed to be pop idol Frankie Lymon's widow, died Monday, said her nephew Alfie Robinson. She had been bedridden following several strokes and died at Parkview Community Hospital in Riverside County from complications of pneumonia, he said.

Founding Platters member Herb Reed said he spotted Taylor, the sister of Cornell Gunter of the Coasters, rehearsing with a girl group in 1955 and knew immediately she had the charisma and vocal chops the R&B group needed."

John Wayne at 100

The 100th anniversary of John Wayne's birth is coming up this month, and The Shamus has kicked off his celebration with the first in a series of posts that I'll definitely be reading.

Pssssst! Wanna See Some Great PB Covers?

If you do, check this out. Then go read a review of one of the books here.

New Issue of Thug Lit is On-line

Here's the line-up. Check it out.

All The Ingredients - By Barry Baldwin
Alter Road - By Bryon Quertermous
Landscape of Zeros - By David Rosenstock
Private Craps Shooter at Dawn - By Steven M. Messner
The Trouble with Trolls - By Patricia Abbott
Work to Live - By Kevin McCarthy

From Rob Kantner

"Clean Slate," the suspense novel we're serializing, is up to eight chapters now. New one is posted every Monday.

Check it out. Also check out "The Long Way Home," another unpublished suspense novel. The whole thing is on the site now, all eighty chapters.

http://www.robkantner.com/

Regards
Rob Kantner

This is all good stuff. Check it out.

Tom Poston, R. I. P.

'Newhart' sidekick Tom Poston dies at 85 - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES -Tom Poston, the tall, pasty-faced comic who found fame and fortune playing a clueless everyman on such hit television shows as 'Newhart' and 'Mork and Mindy,' has died. He was 85.

Poston, who was married to Suzanne Pleshette of 'The Bob Newhart Show,' died Monday night at home after a brief illness, a family representative, Tanner Gibson, said Tuesday. The nature of his illness was not disclosed.

Bob Newhart remembered Poston as a 'versatile and veteran performer and a kindhearted individual.'

'Tom was always the `go-to guy' on `Newhart' in addition to being a good and longtime friend,' Newhart said in a statement Tuesday.

Billy Crystal, who starred in the 1978 film 'Rabbit Test' in which Poston also appeared, was another admirer.

'How rare that a gentle, sweet person could be so incredibly funny,' Crystal said in a statement. 'I grew up watching Tom on 'The Steve Allen Show' as a kid. What an incredible gift to become friends with him and to learn about comedy from a true professional. He was a combination of Stan Laurel and Jack Benny. We will all miss him.'"

Solomon Vs. Lord -- Paul Levine

This is the book I read on the plane to New York. It was a perfect airplane book for me: well-written funny, not too dark. Levine was at the Edgar reception for nominees because the second Solomon vs. Lord book was nominated for best paperback, so I was able to meet him and tell him how much I enjoyed this one.

It's a typical "opposites attract" story with a couple of lawyers who are obviously meant for each other, though you're supposed to wonder if they'll ever get together. Not that you ever doubt it. Solomon is a prickly guy who has issues with his father. He's caring for his autistic nephew, and he lawyers pretty much by the seat of his pants. Lord is a by-the-book prosecutor who tangles with him from their first meeting.

Before long, thanks to some adroit contrivances, they're law partners taking on one of the biggest homicide cases in Miami history. Solomon also finds himself in court as a defendant when the social services folks try to take Bobby away from him. He's defended by Lord. As you can tell, there are quite a few contrivances in the book, including the fact that judges in both cases couldn't be more suited to the situation.

But who cares? It's all in good fun, and there's plenty of snappy patter, some action, fine local color, and a fast-moving storyline to keep you happy. I'll definitely read the second in the series, so check it out.

Complete List of Old West Gunfights

I can't swear that it's complete, but it seems pretty comprehensive. It's here.

Link via Neatorama.

But Soft! What Light from Younder HDTV Breaks?

Video game aims to hook children on Shakespeare - Yahoo! News: "TORONTO (Reuters Life!) - Children typically spend hours in front of a computer so a Canadian university has decided to introduce them to Shakespeare with a video game.

While zapping enemy spaceships players have to help recover the stolen text of Romeo and Juliet by memorizing lines from the famous play, learning facts about Shakespeare's life and devising synonyms and homonyms for parts of the text.

'The game is a way to capitalize on the time that kids spend on computers,' said Professor Daniel Fischlin who headed the team at the University of Guelph in Ontario that developed the game called 'Speare.'

'I don't know of another medium that has seven-year-olds spouting Shakespeare,' Fischlin added in response to charges the game might trivialize learning.

The game was launched earlier this week to coincide with the anniversary of Shakespeare's death after two years and C$50,000 ($44,800) spent developing it."

Gator Update: San Antonio Edition

Video at link.

Gator wanders onto San Antonio freeway, blocks traffic | News for Austin, Texas | kvue.com | Top Stories: "SAN ANTONIO -- San Antonio police first turned on their sirens, then they tried to soothe the troublemaker into compliance with a lullaby.

But the eight-foot alligator proved to be one stubborn traffic problem on busy Interstate 410 in southern San Antonio early Sunday.

Officer Albert Silva was the first to arrive at the scene of the traffic backup.

'I don't remember any of this in the academy,' Silva said."

Gator Update: The Return of Reggie!

'Reggie' the alligator reappears in L.A. - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES - Reggie the alligator reappeared Monday after vanishing for 1 1/2 years in an urban lake where the reptile turned up in 2005 and repeatedly skunked would-be 'gator wranglers.

'After 18 months of hibernation or just eluding us, Reggie has decided to show himself,' City Councilwoman Janice Hahn told a press conference next to Harbor Regional Park's Lake Machado.

Hahn said she had asked the Parks and Recreation Department to put a fence back up around the lake.

'Reggie is older, Reggie is bigger, and he's probably hungry, so I want to make sure that we keep the public safe,' she said. 'He's a wild alligator and he's unpredictable and we're not really sure what his behavior will be.'"

25 Reasons the Internet Conquered the World

How the Internet took over - USATODAY.com: "Twenty-five years ago the Internet as we now know it was in the process of being birthed by the National Science Foundation. Since then it's been an information explosion. From e-mail to eBay, communication and shopping have forever changed."

Happy Birthday, Joseph Heller!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "It's the birthday of Joseph Heller, (books by this author) born in Brooklyn, New York (1923). He's best known for his novel Catch-22 (1961), about a World War II bomber pilot, Yossarian, who believes that the world is out to get him killed. The entire German army wants to shoot him down, and the men that are supposedly his countrymen keep sending him out on bombing missions, where he is likely to get shot down by those Germans. He spends all his time trying to get himself declared insane so he can stop flying bombing missions, but there is a regulation called Catch-22, which says that if you want out of combat duty you can't be crazy.

Heller wrote, '[A pilot] would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.'"

The longer I live, the more convinced I am that Catch-22 is a great novel.

Happy Anniversary, Empire State Building!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "Today is the anniversary of the day in 1931 when the Empire State Building opened to the public on the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street in New York City. It was built remarkably quickly, in just over a year. At 102 stories, it was the tallest building in the world until 1974."

Minisodes?

Coming Online Soon: The Five-Minute ‘Charlie’s Angels’ - New York Times: "The question probably never occurred to viewers in the 1970s and 1980s, but suddenly it is highly relevant: exactly how much worthwhile entertainment content was there in shows like “Charlie’s Angels,” “T. J. Hooker,” and “Starsky and Hutch”?

The Sony Corporation and its production studio, Sony Pictures Television, which controls the rights to those and many other relics of a distant era of television, have come up with an answer to that question: three and a half to five minutes.

That’s the length Sony has shrunk episodes down to in order to create what the company hopes is an appealing new business in retooling old shows for a new era of entertainment. Sony even has a name for these shrunken slices of television nostalgia: minisodes."

Hit Parade Hall of Fame

Hit Parade Hall of Fame: "Welcome to the Hit Parade Hall of Fame where all Pop, Country and R&B recording artists are honored.

In the last half century recorded music
has become the language of the universe with artists from all over the world receiving acclaim.
Changes in lifestyle, erasing prejudices and inviting
new thought, recorded music has both excited, yet calmed and brought entertainment into our lives.

We encourage you to invite your friends to join in
casting a vote for your favorites and in suggesting recording stars who might be honored in the future by the nominating committee.

The first nominees for the Hit Parade Hall of Fame
is from the era starting with 1950 and continuing
to the year 1975. Each are required to have at least
two top ten hits, singles and/or album of any genre.

In the future we will announce the date and location
of the induction ceremony and museum dedicated to those who deserve being inducted into the Hit Parade Hall of Fame."

America's Favorite Architecture

See the structures and vote for your favorites. As it happens I've seen a heck of a lot of these within the last week.

The Best SF TV Series You'll Never See

SunJournal.com - Superb sci-fi anthology series gathers dust on shelf: "I have seen the future. Well, at least I've seen what may be the best futuristic anthology series since the glory days of 'The Twilight Zone' and 'The Outer Limits.'

It's called 'Masters of Science Fiction,' and it's a stunning collection of grand stories, relevant themes, mesmerizing performances and riveting dialogue. Intrigued? You should be. This is the kind of series that could have been submitted for Rod Serling's approval - and would have won it.

I've seen all six of the completed episodes, but it's possible you won't get that chance. 'Masters of Science Fiction' appears to be stuck in a time warp that's keeping it out of the prime-time universe.

The series was announced last August as a midseason replacement for ABC, but it has yet to be scheduled by the network of 'Dancing With the Stars' and 'Desperate Housewives.' And we're fast running out of weeks for the 2006-07 television season, which comes to a close in late May.

Will we see this brilliant series before the calendar says June? It's unlikely. We're heading into the all-important May sweeps period, when ratings determine what local stations can charge for advertising."

Your Mom Threw Yours Away

590 KLBJ NEWS RADIO - Breaking News Headlines and Video from 590 KLBJ: "An octogenarian's collection of rare baseball cards fetched $1.6 million in an auction, officials said.

Lionel Carter, 89, of Evanston, began his collection as a 15-year-old when he eschewed a nickel candy bar for a pack of 1932 Delong cards. His stash of pristine cards ballooned to 50,000 strong with an estimated value of $3 million and became one of the nation's most renowned collections.

'We don't say this lightly _ he's considered one of the pioneers of the hobby,' said Doug Allen, president of suburban Chicago's Mastro Auctions, which sold the collection in a three-week auction that ended Saturday.

Carter's mint condition Mickey Mantle rookie card sold for $165,000, three times more than similar cards have commanded. A set of 1938 Goudy Gum cards sold for $280,000, five times more than similar sets.

'I think people are paying more because it was owned by Lionel Carter,' Allen said.

At least 5,500 cards were sold in this auction, and the rest will be sold at other auctions during the year, officials said."

Brazil Invades Texas! Or, You Damn Ants Get off My Lawn!

MySA.com: Metro | State: "They are annoying -- the state's unwelcome guest whose bite can sting so bad.

They are fire ants, but not just any kind of fire ant. These creepy crawlers came all the way from Brazil.

'The red imported fire ant, which is the one that we have here that’s not native, are much more dangerous than our native fire ants,' said Molly Keck, Bexar County Entomologist.

And expensive.

A 2001 study shows the state of Texas spent nearly $2 billion trying to fend off these ants. The foreign pests are blamed for attacking farm animals, destroying utility boxes and land.

'They really messed things up when they first came here,' Keck said. 'And they are still messing things up.'"

PointBlank Update

I've just received my copy of the PointBlank Press edition of Frank McAuliffe's Of all the Bloody Cheek, originally published by Ballantine many years ago. As I understand it, PointBlank will also reprint the two sequels, as well as a fourth novel in the series that's never seen print before. These books are a marvel of intricate plotting, they're funny, and they're well written. I've never read anything else like them. Highly recommended.

A Scene from The Big Sleep

Check out Jaime Weinman's post on one scene from the book as it was done in the movie.

For Those With a Lot of Spare Time . . .

. . . a slideshow of Bill & Judy's New York Adventure.

Croc Update

BCNG Portals Page: "A crocodile is loose at Trinity Western University and already it’s getting an education on how to elude capture.

Rainforest Reptile Refuge’s curator Paul Springate was called in to rescue the two- foot long caiman which had been spotted by a security guard around 11 p.m. on Tuesday.

“He’s a smart little croc, he’s staying out of the way,” Springate said on Thursday.

On Wednesday afternoon Springate was up to his knees in cold, muddy water, trudging through stinging nettles in the ravine in the northwest corner of the university’s property."

Judy at the Museum of Sex

Let's just not mention to Judy that I published this one, okay?

I'm Sure They'll Want a Clip at the Museum of Sex

Bart bares all in film: "In the unlikeliest nude scene since Kathy Bates' hot-tub hijinks in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson will reportedly go full frontal in his upcoming feature film.

According to Newsweek, which got a sneak peek at The Simpsons Movie, 'little Bart flashes his little part to the entire world' while skateboarding sans clothing on a dare from dad Homer.

If his full Monty makes it to the big screen in July, the magazine notes, it may be the first time a Hollywood movie has exposed this sort of skin -- albeit in cartoon form -- without being slapped with an R-rating."

Son of Elmore

First Deal for a New Leonard - 4/27/2007 - Publishers Weekly: "Elmore Leonard’s son Peter Leonard has made a deal for his first novel, titled Quiver, with Peter Wolverton at Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Minotaur, via Jeffrey Posternak at the Wylie Agency. This crime caper is set in and around the Leonard family’s home turf of Detroit and centers on a recent widow struggling with her teenage son when her first love, an ex-con, reappears. The elder Leonard, who was reportedly unimpressed with a short story his son wrote in college, has enthusiastically endorsed this new literary effort. No pub date yet. SMP holds North American rights."

Gonzales, Texas

Yesterday I was sitting in a cab stuck in traffic trying to get in the tunnel between Manhattan and Queens. Today I cruised through the Texas countryside on the way to Gonzales with not a human, house, or even another car in sight.

Not many Texas towns can boast of a history like that of Gonzales, which was the site of the first Anglo settlement in the state. It was also the site of the first battle of the Texas Revolution, and the town was burned to the ground in 1836 by Sam Houston, who feared that the buildings and supplies would fall into the hands of the Mexican army. The town was later rebuilt, and today there are a lot of interesting old buildings. The statue on the left, which sits on the town square, is a memorial to the Confederate War dead. It was dedicated in 1909. Not many statues like that one around in Texas these days.

The signing was another humbling experience because Elmer Kelton was signing, too. I think Elmer outsold me easily four to one, but it's always a pleasure to talk to him. He's one of the nicest guys in the writing game.

New Issue of Crime and Suspense Now On-Line

The May issue of Crime and Suspense is now on-line. Check it out here.

At the Edgar Reception

Sandy Balzo chats up Stephen King while Dave Barry talks to someone else. I got to talk to Barry quite a big because I mentioned Jeff Meyerson's name; that was the key. I also introduced Ted Hertel to Barry by using Jeff's name. So if you ever meet Dave Barry, you know know how to start a conversation.

I got to talk to Stephen King quite a bit, too. I reminded him that we'd met before, at the World Fantasy Convention in Ft. Worth, Texas, back around 1979 or so. He signed my copy of Night Shift in an elevator. Surprisingly, he didn't remember the incident. Even more surprisingly, he didn't even remember the convention.

Mike Ripley's Latest Column Posted at Shots Magazine

Shots eZine, Mike Ripley's Column April 2007: "I never realised until the other day that my all-time favourite (and campest) Viking film, The Long Ships, was co-scripted by thriller-writer and former Chairman of the Crime Writers Association, Berkely Mather."

Anybody who likes The Long Ships is all right by me. Check out this post to see why. (You'll notice that I long ago discovered that Mather wrote the script and that I, too, appreciate his novels.)

I'd Blog about This, . . .

. . . but I've sworn off. Still, it's nice to see a certain body being put to such a good use.

Thanks to John Duke for the link.

We're Home!

Exactly 11 hours after leaving the hotel, we walked into our house. What a relief. I never thought we'd make it. Of course many of the people who were delayed were in worse shape than we were, including the woman who missed the van to Galveston by about 45 minutes. I have a lot more pictures, and maybe I'll get around to posting a few. Eventually.

And the Crider, Never Flitting. . .

Still is sitting, STILL is sitting,
On the dirty airport floor.

Okay, not the floor, but "sitting" is accurate. So far the delay has been an hour and a half, but the posted ETD is clearly a lie, since the plane that's taking us out hasn't arrived yet. I figure another hour, at the best. I'm not a patient guy, even at the best of times, and this isn't the best of times. But I'll get by. I hope.

Sitting in JFK Airport

JetBlue has free wifi, and our flight is delayed. I guess this is good news/bad news. I knew when I saw the weather this morning that a delay was likely, but when I checked with JetBlue, the flight was on time. Now that I'm here, it's delayed. Figures. Here's a cheerful shot of me in my tux to brighten the day.

Judy and Stephen King

We' re packing up, but here's another Edgar story. At the nominee reception last night there were only a few tables, so Judy and I grabbed one. I left to go talk to some people, and when I came back, Stephen King was in my chair, chatting up Judy. She didn't even try to save my seat.

The weather's lousy this morning, so I'm just hoping that JetBlue won't have us sitting on the runway for hours. I have to do a signing tomorrow in Gonzales, Texas, a long way from Alvin. Not much if any posting until Sunday, I expect.

Bobby "Boris" Pickett R. I. P.

Thanks to Scott Cupp for the link.

mlive.com: NewsFlash - 'Monster Mash' singer Pickett dies at 69: "NEW YORK (AP) — He does the 'Monster Mash' no more. Bobby 'Boris' Pickett, whose dead-on Boris Karloff impression propelled the Halloween anthem to the top of the charts in 1962, making him one of pop music's most enduring one-hit wonders, has died of leukemia. He was 69.

Pickett, dubbed 'The Guy Lombardo of Halloween,' died Wednesday night at the West Los Angeles Veterans Hospital, said his longtime manager, Stuart Hersh. His daughter, Nancy, and his sister, Lynda, were at Pickett's bedside.

'Monster Mash' hit the Billboard chart three times: when it debuted in 1962, reaching No. 1 the week before Halloween; again in August 1970, and for a third time in May 1973. The resurrections were appropriate for a song where Pickett gravely intoned the forever-stuck-in-your-head chorus: 'He did the monster mash. ... It was a graveyard smash.'"

Edgar Winners

And the winners are:

It gives us great pleasure to announce the winners of the 2007 Edgar® Awards (for books, short stories, TV episodes, etc.) published or produced in 2006.

BEST NOVEL

The Janissary Tree by Jason Goodwin (Farrar, Straus and Giroux)

BEST FIRST NOVEL BY AN AMERICAN AUTHOR

The Faithful Spy by Alex Berenson (Random House)

BEST PAPERBACK ORIGINAL

Snakeskin Shamisen by Naomi Hirahara (Bantam Dell Publishing – Delta Books)

BEST FACT CRIME

Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson
(HarperCollins – William Morrow)

BEST CRITICAL/BIOGRAPHICAL

The Science of Sherlock Holmes: From Baskerville Hall to the Valley of Fear
by E.J. Wagner (John Wiley & Sons)

BEST SHORT STORY

"The Home Front" – Death Do Us Part by Charles Ardai
(Hachette Book Group – Little, Brown and Company)

BEST JUVENILE

Room One: A Mystery or Two by Andrew Clements (Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers)

BEST YOUNG ADULT

Buried by Robin Merrow MacCready (Penguin YR – Dutton Children's Books)

BEST PLAY

Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure by Steven Dietz (Arizona Theatre Company)

BEST TELEVISION EPISODE TELEPLAY

Life on Mars – Episode 1, Teleplay by Matthew Graham (BBC America)

BEST TELEVISION FEATURE/MINI-SERIES TELEPLAY

The Wire, Season 4, Teleplays by Ed Burns, Kia Corthron, Dennis Lehane, David Mills, Eric Overmyer, George Pelecanos, Richard Price, David Simon & William F. Zorzi (Home Box Office)

BEST MOTION PICTURE SCREENPLAY

The Departed, Screenplay by William Monahan (Warner Bros. Pictures)

My Fifteen Minutes are Over

In brief, Charles Ardai won the Edgar for best short story, but it was an honor just to be nominated.

Thanks to all for your support!

Today's Walk

We toddled off to the Empire State Building this morning. We'd been up to the deck before, so we didn't to that, but we wanted to drop by and go inside the building. On the way back we saw the Pierpont Morgan Library, but only from the outside. We also went back to the Chrysler Building just for fun.

This afternoon I'll go to the EQMM/AHMM party and then the MWA reception for the Edgar nominees. And finally the banquet. I think my Internet subscription expires before the banquet's over, so I won't be letting you know whether I won or lost for best short story. I truly don't expect to win, but since I was told that there were over 500 stories in the category, it really is an honor just to be nominated. Not that anybody's going to remember beyond the weekend, anyway.

Tomorrow we'll be heading home. It's about time. The cats are probably missing us.

Grand Central & the Chrysler Building

Judy at the Empire State Building

Today's Tour

We mostly rested today. However, since the hotel is joined to Grand Central Station, we decided we'd like to explore it a little more than we had time to do with Jeff and Jackie. We didn't know until later that many trains were delayed today because of an accident, so we were surprised to find that the terminal wasn't very crowded.

This suited our purposes perfectly because we wanted to test out the acoustics near the Oyster Bar restaurant. Walter Satterthwait had told me that because of the construction of the ceiling spanning the hallway in front of the restaurant that it was possible to stand on one side of the hall, speak in a quiet to normal voice, and be heard perfectly by a person standing on the other side. We tried it out, and, sure enough, Walter wasn't kidding. Judy was amazed. (The photo is of Judy in the main terminal, not near the Oyster Bar.)

It took me two days (I'm quick on the uptake) to realize that the Chrysler Building was across the street from our hotel. Since that's one of my favorite buildings, we went across to have a look. The entrances are great, and so is the lobby. So are the elevator doors and lobby ceiling. That's the only part of the building that's open to the public, but I really enjoyed seeing it.

Late this afternoon I went to the MWA reception. The hotel is on 42nd Street, and the reception was on 59th. I asked the concierge how to get there. "You can walk it easily," she said. "Ten minutes." So I took off, in a light drizzle. I had an umbrella and felt like a native. But I need to find that concierge and say, "Liar, liar, pants on fire." I'm a good walker, but no way could I cover 17 blocks in 10 minutes. Of course the traffic lights may have had something to do with that. And the crowds. I did get there, though, and I got back, too, so all's well that ends well.

The Apollo

Judy at the Chrysler Building

Discovering New Mysteries

At the International Mystery Writers' Festival: Kentucky resident Gary Sandy may be most well-known for his role as Andy Travis, the handsome WKRP in Cincinnati Program Director, but his true love for the theatre is no longer a mystery!

Following Sandy's years on the CBS sitcom, he made numerous TV guest appearances in Murder She Wrote, F.B.I. the Untold Story, L.A. Law, and Diagnosis Murder. But, his true passion has come from his more than 70 theatrical productions, including Milo Tindle in Sleuth, Mortimer in the Broadway revival of Arsenic and Old Lace, the Pirate King in the Broadway production of The Pirates of Penzance and Stanley Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire.

The International Mystery Writers' Festival is pleased to have Kentucky's Gary Sandy joining the cast for Ed McBain's Final Curtain to play in the main theatre, Cannon Hall at RiverPark Center, during the week of the festival.

Long Day

We've been sightseeing again. Today we went on the harbor cruise and took in the UN. Among many other things. What with yesterday and today, we've seen most of Manhattan. Now there are only four more boroughs to go.

Jackie and Judy at the Library

On-Line at Last

Okay, after a mere 20 minutes or so with the T-mobile help line, I've managed to get the wireless network beamed to my computer. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to me and computers. Probably everybody in the U.S. could come to the Grand Hyatt and get on the network instantly. Not me. But all seems to be working fine now. Life is good.

The Naked City

We just got back from our whirlwind walking tour of a small portion of NYC. Are there 8 million stories in the naked city? I think there must be even more. There must have been 8 million people on the streets today, at least.

We saw, among other things, Grand Central Station, the Flatiron Building (where we paid a surprise visit to Ruth Cavin, my editor at St. Martin's), Washington Square, a bit of Greenwich Village, Ground Zero, St. Paul's Church, and Chinatown.

Without Jeff and Jackie Meyerson as our indefatigable guides, we'd never have seen 1/10 of that, much less survived the subway at rush hour. Thanks, Jeff and Jackie!

The Internet

Now they tell me that I can get an "Internet kit" at the front desk that will allow me to have wireless access. I have my doubts, but I'll check into that tomorro evening. Right now I'm pounding away on this keyboard that might or might not produce a letter or space. I figure it works about 75% of the time or so.

The weather looks great today, and we're meeting the Meyersons soon.

So Here We Are

We're in the Grand Hyatt right next to Grand Central Station, paying an ungodly sum for a night's stay. And guess what. The only Internet access is through the TV set with a keyboard that's almost as sensitive as an anvil. And it costs extra. In a La Quinta you get free wireless. Here in the Big Apple you're sort of back in the dark ages. Sad, when you think about it.

The good news is that we're very happy with our flight on JetBlue. Very comfortable seat, lots more legroom than on any flight we've taken lately, and even satellite TV at every seat.

This Internet deal really sucks, though.

Gator Update

Alligator found basking in Huntington Village - Newsday.com: "All spring's harbingers were on display on Saturday afternoon -- gorgeous blue skies, budding flowers, birds fluttering through the trees, an alligator sunbathing by a Huntington Village pond.

Wait a minute.

'Generally speaking,' said Roy Gross, chief of the Suffolk County SPCA, 'alligators are not found in ponds in Long Island.'

Yet there it was -- 30-inches long, toothy and leathery green with yellow stripes -- sitting on the side of Pauldings Pond, a small pool of golden reeds at the intersection of Southdown Road and Tanyard Lane.

To be exact, it was an American alligator, 3 years old, gender unknown, native to the South and illegal in New York State, Gross said."

Traveling

As I get older, I like traveling less and less. My father, by the time he'd reached this age, had a firm rule: he never went anywhere that would require an overnight stay. I'm getting more like him every day. In fact, I'm perfectly happy right here in this little room where I'm sitting in front of my computer, surrounded by books. Why should I go anywhere?

Nevertheless, Judy and I are leaving today for New York City, where we'll be until next Friday. We'll see what we can see, and I'll probably have time to do a few little reports about our trip for the blog. Tomorrow, Jackie and Jeff Meyerson (a frequent commenter here) will be showing us around town a little, for which we're grateful. On our own, we're totally lost. We're such yokels that we can barely find our way around a hotel, much less a place like NYC.

After we get home next Friday, I have to go to Gonzales, Texas, for a book signing the very next day. It's about a three-hour drive, so I'll be able to come back home that evening. That's good. Anyway, if any of you happen to be in Gonzales next Saturday, stop by and say "hey."

The following Wednesday we have to drive up to Judy's hometown and take Judy's mother to the doctor in Waco. I'll have to stay overnight, but I can manage that.

Then on May 6 we're going to Galveston for a show by Bernadette Peters at the Grand Opera House. After that, maybe things will settle down a bit. I sure hope so.

Baseball Card of the Day

Hmmmmmm

Thanks to John Duke for the tip.

KATV Channel 7 - Bentonville Man Files Suit Over Library Book: "Bentonville (AP) - A Bentonville man is seeking $20,000 from the city after his two teenage sons found a book on lesbian sex on a library bookshelf.

Earl Adams says his sons were 'greatly disturbed' after finding the book, titled 'The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.'

Adams says the book caused, 'many sleepless nights in our house.' "

It Was Twice Twenty Years Ago Today

It Was 40 Years Ago Today|PARADE Magazine: "This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Beatles’ completion of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, a tour de force that elevated the rock album to art form and taught generations of bands to play.

The 13 tracks on Sgt. Pepper’s were conceived in a magical span of 700 hours over five months. The Beatles began recording on Dec. 6, 1966, and finished the album on April 21, 1967, when they created the final track, an avant-garde seconds-long pastiche of sounds—including a high-pitched tone inaudible to humans put there solely to annoy your dog—that was later dubbed “Inner Groove” for its bizarre placement within the concentric circles of the LP."

Clea's Moon -- Edward Wright

It's L.A. in the late 1940s. At one time John Ray Horn starred in B westerns. That was before he went to prison for assault. Now he collects debts for Joseph Mad Crow, formerly his faithful Indian sidekick. An old friend calls John Ray about a problem he'd like some help with, but he dies in an apparent suicide before John Ray can really get a handle on things. Naturally John Ray suspects murder (and of course he's right). This leads him to discover, among other things, a box of pornographic photos of young girls, one of whom just happens to be the daughter of Horn's ex-wife. There are real estate scandals, buried secrets, and great post-war period details. David Thompson at Murder by the Book recommended this one to me, and I'm glad he did. I've already bought the sequel. Check it out.

April 21 -- San Jacinto Day

The final battle of the Texas Revolution took place on this day in 1836. Read all about the battle here. Read about the monument and museum here.

Happy Birthday "The Murders in the Rue Morgue"!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "Today is the anniversary of the birth of detective fiction. It was on this day in 1841 that Edgar Allan Poe (books by this author) published his short story 'The Murders in the Rue Morgue.' It's the story of the brilliant amateur detective Auguste Dupin and how he solves the crime of two murders that turn out to have been committed by an orangutan. It was the first story to feature a detective solving a crime, and it would spark the entire genre of detective fiction, one of the most popular fiction genres in the history of English literature."

Spare Me

Variety.com - Schulman pumps up Mandalay: "A highlight of the Mandalay Pictures’ slate at Universal is the remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” scheduled to be in production by early fall.

“We think we have a very contemporary take,” Schulman said. “In the original, the birds just showed up, and it was kind of like, why are the birds here? This time, there’s a reason why they’re here and (people) have had something to do with it. There’s an environmental slant to what could create nature fighting back.”"

What is Bill Crider Reading?

Marshal Zeringue does a lot of blogs for The Campaign for the American Reader. One of them is Writers Read, and today both of those blogs feature a famous writer that you all know and love. You should check them out. And while you're at it you might click on some of the other CftAR blogs, like the Page 69 Test, the Page 99 Test, and My Book, the Movie, and Lit Lists. They're all well worth checking out.

Croc Update

Crocodile removed from endangered species list - Nightly News with Brian Williams - MSNBC.com: "HOMESTEAD, Fla. - For wildlife officials, today is an important milestone and a sign of success. After three decades, the American crocodile goes off the federal endangered species list. It happened because science, government and industry agreed to protect a prehistoric animal that was about to go away.

The ancient predator had become a victim of development, habitat loss and hunting.

'We're doing something good, and they are responding,' Joe Wasilewski, a wildlife biologist, says."

I Hope Rick Riordan Is Checking into This for The Lightning Thief

As for me, I'm designing the Sheriff Dan Rhodes theme park. (Thanks to Brent McKee for the link.)

Harry Potter - the theme park - Entertainment - smh.com.au: "Universal Studios, which runs a string of theme parks, is rumoured to be planning one on a Harry Potter theme.

Harry Potter World will be in the US theme-park capital, Orlando, Florida, according to a report by Bang! Showbiz. It will feature rides based on events in the blockbuster children's' series by British author JK Rowling.

Neither the official Harry Potter website, hosted by Warner Bros, or the rumour section of JK Rowling's personal website so far contain any reference to the plan.

The final book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, is due in July, and the film's lead characters are already signed up for the movie version."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Thanks to Jeff "Not an Ass" Meyerson for the link.

iWon News - Donkey Becomes Witness in Dallas Dispute: "The first witness in a lawsuit Wednesday between two neighbors was a real ass. Buddy the donkey walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being.

The donkey was at the center of a dispute between oilman John Cantrell and attorney Gregory Shamoun that began after Cantrell complained about a storage shed Shamoun was building in his backyard in Dallas."

Bad Thoughts -- Dave Zeltserman

This is a genre-bending book, the likes of which might have found a home with a different publisher at one time. Now we can just be grateful that Five Star is willing to take a chance on something that's a bit different from what you'll usually find on the shelves.

Billy Shannon is a cop with an unusual background. When he was a kid, he returned home to find his mother being murdered. His part in what happened after that is left vague until later in the novel, so I won't reveal it here. However, I'll go ahead and say that she's found killed in an odd and distinctive way and that twenty years later similar murders have occurred. Shannon becomes a prime suspect. Even his partner thinks he's guilty.

And it's at this point that the genre gets bent. After that, it's a wild ride. I was reminded a little of Blood Dreams, a novel by the late Jack MacLane, published by Zebra just after the era of the knives-in-fresh-fruit covers. Joe Lansdale's Act of Love had one of those covers, come to think of it. Zeltserman's book would rest comfortably on the shelf beside them. If you're looking for a hardboiled anybody-can-die-at-any-time book that's a change of pace from the usual, look no further. Just check this one out when it appears in July.

Chris Columbus to Direct The Lightning Thief

Looks like Rick Riordan is about to get extremely rich. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. (Hat tip to Lee Goldberg for the link.)

IGN: Columbus Catches Lightning: "Harry Potter veteran Chris Columbus is looking to direct and produce The Lightning Thief for Fox 2000. The pic is based on the fantasy book series by Rick Riordan, specifically the first entry, Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, 'Thief centers on a young boy who discovers that he is the descendant of a Greek god and sets out -- with the help of a satyr and a daughter of Athena -- on a dangerous adventure to settle an ongoing battle between the gods. Along the way, he faces a host of mythological enemies determined to stop him. He also must come to terms with a father he has never known and an oracle that has warned him of betrayal by a friend.'

Variety adds that Columbus' shingle 1492 Pictures is producing along with Maverick, while THR says that no screenwriter has been tapped yet to adapt the book."

This Should Mean a New Edition

Thanks to Vince Keenan for the link.

Wood to produce 'Black Wings': "Elijah Wood is making his first foray into producing, teaming with Anthony Moody and Rob Malkani's Indalo Prods. to bring to the big screen an adaptation of Elliott Chaze's legendary noir novel 'Black Wings Has My Angel.'

The script is being penned by Barry Gifford ('Wild at Heart,' 'Lost Highway') and writer-producer-director Christopher Peditto.

Chaze was a newspaperman and columnist in Mississippi who wrote books on the side. 'Angel,' published in 1953, is considered one of the shining lights of the Fawcett Gold Medal paperback line and a pulp classic. "

Ar-r-r-r-r-r, Me Hearties!

the futon critic - the web's best primetime television resource

PIRATE MASTER, the next epic adventure reality series from Emmy Award-winning producer Mark Burnett, will premiere Thursday, May 31 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

PIRATE MASTER will send 16 modern-day pirates on a high seas adventure where they will live as buccaneers and travel around the Caribbean island of Dominica in search of hidden treasure that will total $1 million. Over the course of 33 days, these pirates will live aboard a massive 179 foot, square-rigged barque which carries 12,500 square feet of sail.

Each week, the pirates will embark on extraordinary expeditions where they will decipher clues along the way in search of missing treasure. Gold coins -- real money which the pirates may take with them beyond the show -- will be awarded after each expedition, but only to some. The gold will play a key role as pirates strike deals with each other or plead for long-term security. In addition to claiming the lion's share of the week's riches, one pirate will become the captain of the ship and will assign roles and chores to the remaining crew members, setting the tone for either law and order or betrayal and sabotage, which could lead to mutiny by the crew.

Each episode will conclude on the ship at Pirate's Court, a lively gathering of public speaking and judgment where one individual will be eliminated and "cut adrift." In the end, one will be the first to find the largest booty, worth $500,000, and claim the title of "Pirate Master."

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Kitty Carlisle, R. I. P.

TV Week: Kitty Carlisle Hart Dies at 96

By Tom Gilbert

Kitty Carlisle Hart, actress and panelist on the long-running CBS game show "To Tell the Truth," died at her home in New York Tuesday from heart failure. She was 96.
Story continues below...

Ms. Hart, known professionally as Kitty Carlisle, was the widow of legendary Broadway theater playwright and director Moss Hart, to whom she was married from 1946 until his death in 1961.

She made her Broadway debut in "Rio Rita" in 1932, and her first motion picture was "Murder at the Vanities" in 1934. The following year she appeared with the Marx Bros. in "A Night at the Opera," in which she sang. After her movie career failed to ignite, she returned to the New York stage.

After a regular spot on the failed Goodson-Todman game show "What's Going On?" in 1954, Ms. Hart hit her stride as a regular panelist on the company's "To Tell the Truth," which launched on CBS in 1956 and ran until 1968. It was during that time that she became known as a television personality and a household name.

Thanks to Todd Mason for the link.

Review of the New Tolkien Novel

The Lost Tolkien Novel | TIME: "There are two kinds of Tolkien fans. There are the day trippers, the weekend warriors, who've read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings and seen the movies and let it go at that. Then there are the hardcore — the Uruk-hai of Tolkien readers — who have delved further, into The Silmarillion and beyond, who seriously grok the deep history and elaborate geography and endless mystical genealogies of Middle Earth. Now there's a 'new' work of Tolkien fiction called The Children of H�rin, cobbled together by Christopher Tolkien, son of J.R.R., out of manuscripts left behind by his dad. As it happens, it's got something for both of the Tolkien tribes."

Why So Many Novels Never Get Filmed

I have many that have never even been optioned. For a bonus, at the end of the article there's a list of the five best and five worst screen adaptations. Thanks to Gerard Saylor for the link.

Why so many novels never make it to the big screen - Independent Online Edition > Features: "The cinemas are full of turkeys yet that brilliant novel you read three years ago has never been made into a film. Danuta Kean descends into development hell and finds out why so many authors get trapped there."

Indiana Jones Update

Moviehole.net - Indiana Jones star nixed from fourth film: "One of the series’ most popular characters, Indy’s hefty subordinate Sallah, played by John Rhys-Davies, will not be back for 'Indiana Jones 4' (or 'Indiana Jones and the City of Gods'; as some online casting agencies have it listed)."

Life Is Tough when you Have a Big, er, Chest

Parents still fuming about prom dress protocol: "Three days after about 25 girls from a Marrero high school were turned away from their senior prom because adult chaperones said their dresses violated the Jefferson Parish public school system's policy, district officials are trying to soothe the uproar and said Monday there's a chance the system might review its rules governing attire.

In an episode that has garnered national media attention, most of the girls were turned away because of an excessive display of cleavage, though the policy also bans clothing that is 'tight-fitting' or 'see-through.'

School system spokesman Jeff Nowakowski said L.W. Higgins High School Principal Germain Gilson is inviting upset parents to meet with her individually to discuss the incident, which occurred Friday night at the Magnolia Plantation dance hall at Elmwood Park.

With nine more proms scheduled in the coming weeks, the school system might consider revising its vaguely worded dress code policy, which officials have used in defending the school system's actions, Nowakowski said. The policy states that 'a student will not wear clothing that exposes the student's back, chest or midriff.'

'I'm sure the system would consider looking at better-defining that area,' he said, referring to the 'chest' part of the policy."

Ali Karim Meets Dean Koontz

Sort of. And he checks out the LongPen. Read all about it right here.

Barbarella Remake Update

Barbarella Kate Beckinsale - Showbiz News - Life Style Extra: "LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Kate Beckinsale is set to star in a remake of 'Barbarella'.

Movie bosses think the British actress is a perfect choice to play the cult 60s heroine - a role made famous by Jane Fonda in the original 1968 erotic space adventure.

A source told Britain's Daily Express newspaper: 'Jane Fonda made the 'Barbarella' role very much her own all those years ago and she is bound to be a tough act to follow.

'But the feeling is that Kate has just the right combination of beauty, humour and acting talent for the part.'"

Rolling Stone’s Top 25 Songs With a Secret

Rolling Stone Rock and Roll Daily � Blog Archive � Rolling Stone’s Top 25 Songs With a Secret: "Still, after much careful consideration, we’ve come up with our official list of rock’s top 25 Songs With a Secret. These are tracks the meanings of which have inspired lots of debate. Let the debate continue!"

I think they have the name of the Cyndi Lauper song spelled wrong, though the title they have is a good one.

Will the Persecution Never End?

Evidently not.

In Texas We See Signs that Say "Serving the Public Since 1982"

The End of a 1,400-Year-Old Business: "The world's oldest continuously operating family business ended its impressive run last year. Japanese temple builder Kongo Gumi, in operation under the founders' descendants since 578, succumbed to excess debt and an unfavorable business climate in 2006.

How do you make a family business last for 14 centuries? Kongo Gumi's case suggests that it's a good idea to operate in a stable industry. Few industries could be less flighty than Buddhist temple construction. The belief system has survived for thousands of years and has many millions of adherents. With this firm foundation, Kongo had survived some tumultuous times, notably the 19th century Meiji restoration when it lost government subsidies and began building commercial buildings for the first time."

Pulppusher

New e-zine now on-line. A great line up, so be sure to check it out.

Pulppusher.com: "THE PUSHER GIVES IT to you with Both Barrels in issue one . . . Ken Bruen undergoes some Cross-examination. Allan Guthrie's Hard Man goes to the mat. And some criminally good writing from Ray Banks, Cathi Unsworth and Thug Lit regular, JD Smith. What's that, you want more? Forget about it, hey, with a line up like this, we're all gonna be doing time . . . with The Pusher."

The Watchman -- Robert Crais

I've enjoyed the novels in Robert Crais's Elvis Cole series, beginning with The Monkey's Raincoat, which I bought in paperback when it first appeared. (That turned out to be a better investment than I'd have guessed.) A fixture throughout the series has been Joe Pike, the guy Cole can turn to when the going gets rough. Pike has been an enigmatic figure, but now Crais has devoted a book to him, and that gives Crais a chance to let us know a lot more about Pike's history. He's still enigmatic, but a little more human.

Because he promised a favor, Pike finds himself trying to prevent the murder of a young woman who witnessed a traffic accident. Or that's what he thinks he's doing. Things get complicated in ways that I'd better not mention. Pike has to kill a lot of people, and in a nice turnabout he calls in Elvis Cole for back-up support and other kinds of help. As usual they make a good team, and they start to find out a lot of things that other people would like to keep hidden.

One of the villains of the piece is too easy to spot, and the plot is so convoluted that I'm still not sure I have it all figured out, but the pacing is admirable, and it's always fun to see Pike and Cole in action. Getting Pike's backstory is the bonus. Check it out.

Another Day, Another Remake

IESB.net - Independent Entertainment News - Kasden To Pen Clash of the Titans Remake!: "'Screenwriting hero Lawrence Kasdan has been tapped to pen 'Clash of the Titans' for Warner Bros. Pictures. Basil Iwanyk is producing via Thunder Road.

A remake of the 1981 cult classic, the story revolves around Zeus' son, Perseus, and his journey to save Princess Andromeda during which he must complete various tasks set out by Zeus, including capturing Pegasus and slaying Medusa. The original marked the final film on which Ray Harryhausen did special effects."

Monkeying with the Keyboard

Classic monkey business - Opinion: views on the news on Stuff.co.nz

WORLD OF SCIENCE - BOB BROCKIE
They say that given a hundred typewriters and enough time, a hundred monkeys will write Shakespeare's complete works.

To test this idea, a team at the University of Plymouth, England, got a (PndStlg)2000 grant from the British Arts Council, shut six Sulawesi crested macaque monkeys with a computer keyboard in an enclosure at a Devon zoo for a month, and filmed what happened.

The alpha male bashed hell out of the computer with a stone and the other monkeys did little else but urinate and defecate on the keyboard. Nevertheless, the monkeys did produce the equivalent of five pages of type with a predilection for the letter S. One researcher said that proved the monkeys were not hitting the keyboard at random, so were part of the way towards literacy. Defending the expenditure, a lecturer said the filmed experiment made very stimulating and fascinating viewing and was cheaper to produce than reality TV, but there was no sign of Shakespeare.

These typing monkeys were the brainchild of French mathematician Emile Borel back in 1909. He introduced us to dactylographic monkeys in his book Statistical Mechanics and Irreversibility. Borel thought the monkeys would help readers envisage the unfeasible improbability of certain physical events, such as the random movement of all the air molecules to one end of a room. You can safely bet that the monkeys are unlikely to write Hamlet. You can similarly bet that air molecules will remain evenly spread through a room and not all move to one end by chance.

In 2003 a more realistic experiment was started called The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator. The programme simulates a vast number of monkeys typing at random to see how long it will take them to produce a Shakespeare play.

To date, the cyber monkeys have not done very well. It has taken them the equivalent of 2,737,850 million billion billion billion years to produce a phrase from Henry IV, Part 2: RUMOUR. Open your ears . .

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Anna Nicole Smith Update

Thanks to Jeff "I'm Still Not Bidding Meyerson" for the link.

Entertainment News- Buyers for Anna Nicole Diaries Scared Away - AOL News: "DALLAS (April 15) - Two diaries written by Anna Nicole Smith in the early 1990s failed to sell at an auction this weekend, but are now available for a minimum bid of $25,000 each, the auction house said Sunday. "

This Is Just . . . Wrong

Daily Express: The World's Greatest Newspaper :: News / Showbiz :: Sienna looks perfect for �55m Barbarella role: "BARBARELLA producers think Sienna is perfect for the �55million update of the 1968 fantasy classic, which turned Jane Fonda into a sex symbol and film icon.

“Sienna is at the top of our wish list and discussions are under way,” revealed a source close to the film’s makers. “Not only is she gorgeous but she is a modern, sassy girl with just the right image. Like the young Jane Fonda she combines sex appeal and acting ability.”

Angelina Jolie has also been considered for the role but her high asking price – nearly �10million – is said to make her casting unlikely."

Jackie Robinson Got This Guy's Job

As Jackie Robinson made history, Texan became a footnote | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "In venues great and small Sunday, Major League Baseball will celebrate a seminal event in the history of the sport and a significant milestone in 20th-century America — the day 60 years ago that Jackie Robinson became the first black player in modern-day big league baseball.

Jackie Robinson Day's central event will take place in Los Angeles, where Robinson's widow will be on hand to see each member of the Dodgers wear Robinson's No. 42 as they take the field against the San Diego Padres.

Houston will host a smaller event — a youth baseball clinic at Memorial Park's Andy Anderson Field, sponsored by Major League Baseball's alumni association.

One of the senior members among the former players on hand will be Ed Stevens, 82, who keeps a copy of the box score from Robinson's first game on the office wall of his southwest Houston home, alongside a picture of himself with Robinson and some of their Brooklyn Dodgers teammates that year.

Stevens spent 29 years as a scout, so he enjoys working with young talent. He has another reason, though, to remember the events of April 15, 1947.

It was the day Jackie Robinson took his job."

The Hoff! Marjoe!! Robots!!! Lightsabers!!!! Caroline Munro!!!!!

Link via Neatorama.

Arm-Biting Croc Update

Taipei Times - archives

The crocodile that bit off a vet's forearm at Kaohsiung's Shoushan Zoo on Wednesday had another surprise for authorities on Friday.

As well as not being tranquilized when the vet tried to treat it and surviving being shot after reports said it had been killed, it now turns out that the reptile belongs to a different species of crocodile than was originally believed.

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Harry Potter Update

Last Harry Potter book breaks record - New Zealand's source for entertainment news, gossip & music, movie & book reviews on Stuff.co.nz: "LOS ANGELES: He is not expected to ride his flying broomstick into bookstores for 100 more days, but already boy wizard Harry Potter is whipping up some magic at bookstore chain Barnes & Noble.

Barnes & Noble said advance orders for author JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows have topped 500,000 copies, breaking the bookseller chain's record for the most advance requests in its history."