Have You Been Waiting for the Death of Rap?

Your wait is over:

Hilton to record rap album for music debut - Music - Entertainment - smh.com.au: "US Academy Award-winning rappers Three 6 Mafia say they are producing and recording tracks with Paris Hilton for her music debut.

'We ran into her at a William Morris agency party and she said she liked our song Stay Fly and asked could we work with her,' said Jordan 'Juicy J' Houston, one-third of the Memphis hip-hop group."

The Long Ships

The Long Ships is my favorite Viking movie. Sure, lots of people prefer The Vikings, with Kirk Douglas, directed by the recently deceased Richard Fleischer, and it’s probably a much better movie. It’s certainly more serious, and that might explain why I like The Long Ships, which is anything but serious. Someone should have explained that to Sidney Poitier, though. It’s as if he’s acting in a different movie from everyone else. Oscar Homolka hams it up outrageously, and Richard Widmark is clearly having a wonderful time. It’s all he can do not to wink at the camera. Russ Tamblyn is pretty bad, but he gets to make a couple of nice athletic moves. Rosanna Schiaffino has a couple of great lines, especially when she questions Poitier: “How long must I endure your abstinence from pleasure?” (When she says that, we realize that Poitier is completely nuts. And it’s no wonder he seems grumpy. Not that his grumpiness couldn’t be a result of the terrible wig he’s wearing.) Ms. Schiaffino also gets to run down a street, waving her arms and yelling, “The long sheeps! Beware the long sheeps!”

The plot of the movie, such as it is, concerns the search for “The Mother of Voices,” a giant bell made of solid gold. I love the opening scenes where the story of the bell is told. Both the telling and the shots used are just about perfect. And speaking of the shots, this is a beautiful movie, filmed in Technicolor and something called Technirama. But I digress. Poitier believes that Widmark knows the whereabouts of the bell, and this leads to complications, including The Mare of Steel, which is a giant curved blade in the shape of a horse’s head. Riding The Mare of Steel is, of course, fatal, not to mention painful. I mean, look at the way you’d land on it.

The funniest scene in the movie occurs when the Viking crew breaks into Poitier’s harem. Pure slapstick. The battle scenes are also good, with none of the quick cutting that ruins that kind of scene in current movies. Sure, we see the same thing two or three times from different angles and aren’t supposed to notice. Who cares?

One of the screenwriters was Berkely Mather. When you have time, you might enjoy reading his novel The Gold of Malabar. I did, long ago.

But what I really enjoyed was the novel The Long Ships by Frans Bengtsson. You’ll be shocked to hear that it’s hardly anything at all like the movie. But it’s wonderful. I read it over 40 years ago, and I can still remember the last line. Not that it’s all that great, but it was affecting to me because of all that had gone before. Check it out.

Happy Anniversary, Forbidden Planet!

Chron.com | At 50, Forbidden Planet a benchmark in film: "On its 50th anniversary, Forbidden Planet is considered a benchmark film that launched a thousand spaceships

By LOUIS B. PARKS
Copyright 2006 Houston Chronicle

March 1956. Dwight Eisenhower was president. Psychoanalysis was topical. New technology meant fancy kitchen appliances or the Bomb. Space travel was science fiction. And most science-fiction films were cheap monster movies.

But not all. A half-century after its debut, Forbidden Planet is still a beloved science-fiction movie. It has a monster, of sorts, but this widescreen, big-budget production is into the excitement of exploration, humanity's self-destructive tendencies and wowing audiences with mind-expanding special effects."

Click on the link for the whole article. And on the right-hand side is the writer's list of the top 25 SF movies.

Now This is an Interesting List

Complete list - 2005 [OCLC - OCLC Top 1000]: "The 'Top 1000' titles owned by OCLC member libraries—the intellectual works that have been judged to be worth owning by the 'purchase vote' of libraries around the globe."

Thanks to The Little Professor for the link.

When Gators Attack Geezers!

Montana's News Station, Fair. Accurate. To the Point. -Man battles gator with broom: "NORTH FORT MYERS, Fla. Florida's alligators seem to be getting bolder lately.
A four-foot-long gator apparently spent the night in a man's garage in North Fort Myers. The 82-year-old man says he tried to shoo it with a broom -- then sprayed it with a garden hose.

It didn't leave until three other people prodded it, and it moved on to a lake.

Just a few days ago, another alligator was found at the front door of a Bonita Springs home."

What Happened to the Crimespot?

Crimespot seems to have disappeared.

Update: All appears well, according to Graham. So go check out Crimespot.

Suicide Squeeze -- Victor Gischler

When I heard that the paperback of Victor Gischler's Suicide Squeeze was out, I figured it was about time to get busy and read the hardback that's been sitting on my shelves almost since it was brand new. I'm glad I did.

The book's main character, Conner Samson, is down on his luck. Perpetually. He doesn't have the dough to pay for a beer because he never wins his bets on baseball games. The woman he loves, Tryanny Jones is married to someone else and is a sex addict. About the only man she doesn't want to have sex with is Conner.

Conner's life is about to change, but his luck isn't going to improve. What happens to him involves a boat he's supposed to repossess, Japanese gangsters, a former secret agent who's as dangerous as the gangsters, a huge collector named Otis, whose boss is Rocky Big, comic book nerds, and an assortment of other things, in a plot that's impossible for me to describe. Let's just say that everybody is out to double-cross everybody else, and kill anyone that gets in the way, to gain possession of a baseball card.

Being a baseball card collector myself, I have to love a book in which the mcguffin is a one-of-a-kind card signed by Joe Dimaggio, Billy Wilder, and Marilyn Monroe. It's worth whatever some sucker will pay for it, maybe a million bucks, and it comes with a signed personal letter written by Monroe. The people Gischler writes about will do just about anything to get it.

There's lots of funny stuff in the novel, but the climactic shoot-out is one of the bloodiest I've read in years. It's not funny at all. Well, not unless you're thinking that Gischler is messing with you when he says, "The weapon sang, a Wagnerian shotgun opera, the sound track to hell." Because Gischler's next novel, coming out in April, is, you guessed it Shotgun Opera. I plan to read that one, too.

Bluebonnets

Sure, bluebonnets are a Texas cliche, but I like 'em anyway. I mentioned that the roadsides and fields near Navasota were covered with them, but I didn't take any pictures. However, someone here in Alvin really likes them and has a front lawn covered with them. It looks cool, and there's no lawn mowing until the flowers all die. (Click on the pic for the full-screen version.)

AggieCon 2006

Somehow it wouldn’t be spring if I didn’t go to College Station at the end of March for the AggieCon. Judy and I first attended in 1980, and we’ve missed only one year since then (we were in Europe). Walking down the halls of the Memorial Student Center is as much a part of spring to me as the bluebonnets that cover the fields along the highway.

When I started going to AggieCon, I loved going to the panels and hearing writers like Theodore Sturgeon, Jack Williamson, Roger Zelazny, Poul Anderson, L. Sprague de Camp, C. J. Cherryh, and lots of others talk about their work. I never dreamed that one day I’d be the guy up at the front of the room doing the talking. I thought about that a lot this past weekend, though. I’ve been going to AggieCon since before most of this year’s organizers were born. I used to go hear the writers. Now I’m one of the writers people come to hear. Time changes everything.

Another thing time has changed is the dealers’ room. It used to be wall-to-wall with book dealers, and they all had old paperbacks that I loved to go through. I found many of the paperbacks that line my office walls there. Not anymore. This year there were exactly two dealers with any real stock of books. I bought three or four. A far cry from the old days, and kind of sad. I guess most people who attend SF cons just aren’t interested in books now. They’re into gaming, anime, jewelry, costumes, weapons. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just different.

As always, I had a great time in College Station. Joe Lansdale didn’t show up (he’s in Italy, basking in the glow of his international fame), but I saw lots of great folks: Willie Siros, Scott Cupp (it was Scott’s 33rd consecutive AggieCon), Jayme Blaschke, Rick Klaw, Mark Finn, Tom Knowles, David Carren, and Theresa Patterson, just to name a few. I’m ready to go back next year.

I Hope this is True

WP: U.S. plans moon base on path to Mars - washingtonpost.com Highlights - MSNBC.com: "By Guy Gugliotta
The Washington Post
Updated: 1:36 p.m. ET March 26, 2006

HOUSTON - For the first time since 1972, the United States is planning to fly to the moon, but instead of a quick, Apollo-like visit, astronauts intend to build a permanent base and live there while they prepare what may be the most ambitious undertaking in history — putting human beings on Mars."

Jack Black is the World's Smartest Man! (And he had a talking motorcycle!)

YouTube - Heat Vision and Jack: "Heat Vision and Jack was created as a 1999 pilot for Fox. Written by Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab, directed by Ben Stiller, this series was passed over by Fox despite critical acclaim from those who've been lucky enough to see it.

The 30 minute pilot is about an astronaut (played by Jack Black) with a medical secret who is on the run from the evil Ron Silver and the rest of NASA, with the help of a talking motorcycle called Heat Vision (voiced by Owen Wilson)."

Cindy Walker, R. I. P.

Cindy Walker, prolific country songwriter, dies at 87

Texan wrote 500 songs, including 'You Don't Know Me' and 'Bubbles in My Beer'

By Michael Corcoran
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Friday, March 24, 2006

She had never stepped inside a honky-tonk before writing "Bubbles In My Beer," one of the greatest country and western drinking songs ever, for Bob Wills. Her material ranged from the smooth ballad "Anne Marie" for country crooner Jim Reeves to the pop of "Dream Baby" for Roy Orbison to the wacky "Barstool Cowboy From Old Barstow" for Spike Jones and the City Slickers.

"Cindy Walker never wrote a bad song in her life," Nashville producer Fred Foster said two years ago when the prolific first lady of country songwriting was feted with a tribute concert at the Paramount Theatre. The spritely, gregarious Walker, whose best-known composition, "You Don't Know Me," was recorded by everyone from Eddy Arnold and Ray Charles to Elvis Presley and Michael Bolton, got up and danced a jig in the aisles a few times during the Paramount show. It seemed like she would live forever.

courtesy of The Country Music Hall of Fame

(enlarge photo)

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Willie Nelson
"You Don't Know Me"

• Windows Media | Real

XL Feature (includes audio)

A Pioneer Songstress

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Jill Johnson
for ENCORE

(enlarge photo)

Cindy Walker, legendary Western songwriter, was inducted into the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame on Friday at the Worthington Hotel in Fort Worth.

But Walker, the subject of a new tribute album by Willie Nelson, died Thursday evening soon after being checked into a hospital in her native Mexia, about 40 miles east of Waco, with respiratory problems. She was 87.

"She affected me and everyone else who came along after her," Nelson said in a statement announcing the release of "You Don't Know Me: The Songs of Cindy Walker," which hit stores March 14. "We had to have heard her music before we could do ours."

The first woman inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1970, Walker said in a 2004 interview with the American-Statesman that in a career that spanned seven decades, with nearly 500 songwriting credits, she never experienced discrimination or thought of herself as a rarity in a male-dominated field.

"The one thing that everybody in the music business is always looking for is a good song," she said. "If you could write some, it didn't matter if you were male, female or orangutan."

The last time I went out of town for a regional SF convention, we lost Don Knotts and Darren McGavin. This time it was Cindy Walker, the pride of my hometown of Mexia, Texas, and Buck Owens. I may stay at home from now on.

More Books than Space

"Avid readers . . . grapple with storage, from basic bricks-and-board shelving to exquisite, and exquisitely expensive, custom cabinetry. They have discovered that books can be tucked under the stairs, over doorways, into headboards, atop the refrigerator and inside kitchen cabinets. The cliched decorator's trick of stacking large, glossy art books on their sides can give new life to occasional tables. Indeed, several uniform, knee-high piles of books on the floor can become a table when topped by a piece of glass."

Sure, just one post down I said no more blogging until Sunday or Monday. So I lied. I couldn't pass up a mention of this article from the Washington Post. You probably have to register to read it. It's all too true, and it reminded me of my recent post on compulsive hoarding.

AggieCon

Judy and I off for the AggieCon in beautiful College Station, Texas. Maybe some of you will be there as well. I won't have a computer with me, so there won't be any blogging here until Sunday evening or Monday morning. I know you'll miss me, but I'm sure you can find something else to read for a couple of days.

Phantom Nights -- John Farris

A couple of years ago I mentioned my admiration of John Farris. It's hard to believe I've been reading his work for over 45 years now. Besides Harrison High, I really like Sharp Practice and The Fury, as well as a number of others. Farris's most recent book to make it to paperback is Phantom Nights. It's set in 1952, and it's the story of the rape and murder of a black woman in a small southern town called Evening Shade. I can't help thinking of the TV series starring Burt Reynolds and Ossie Davis; I wonder if Farris ever saw it or for that matter if his editor did. I think I'd have changed the name of the town. But I digress.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

There's a witness to the murder, a 14-year-old mute named Alex, whose brother, Bobby, happens to be the county's acting sheriff, but there's no real evidence that would lead to a conviction, that is, there's not until the murdered woman's father turns up. He's a doctor who lived much of his young life in Paris, and he's up on all the latest techniques of forensic science. So the book is about his relationship with Alex and Bobby as it is about the murder. And here's a warning for you crime fiction fans: The book has a lot of supernatural elements. If you don't go for that sort of thing in your crime novels, better skip this one. If you don't mind, though, this is a well-written and entertaining story. Check it out.

I, for One, Can Hardly Wait

Paris and Nicky Hilton preliminary cartoon sketches - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com: "Paris and Nicky Hilton are making a cartoon TV show about their lives in the style of The Simpsons, and have spoken to Interscope boss Ted Fields who will make the series and hopes to air it on US television."

The Dan Brown Code

The Dan Brown Code - In a court filing, the best-selling author of The Da Vinci Code reveals all the secrets of a pulp novelist:
By Bryan Curtis
Updated Wednesday, March 22, 2006, at 6:10 PM ET

"Dan Brown, author of the mega-selling The Da Vinci Code, has brought forth his most thrilling piece of writing to date: a court document."

Thanks to Walter Satterthwait for the tip. I think this pretty much explains why I didn't enjoy The Da Vinci Code and why I won't be reading any more books by Dan Brown.

New Drive-In Theater

When we went to Dallas a few weeks ago, we drove past the Galaxy Drive-In on Interstate 45 near Ennis. It's nice to know that the drive-in is making a comeback. Update: I've added a photo that shows one screen. The speakers are in the foreground.

Galaxy Drive-In Theatre: "Please arrive as early as possible to help avoid long lines of cars and traffic problems, which in turn leads to later start times! For safety reasons and the consideration of other patrons we cannot start the first features while several cars are still trying to park!
PLEASE do not wait until the last minute to show up!!!"

Shaolin Soccer

I often go about things all wrong. For example, I watched Kung Fu Hustle before watching Shaolin Soccer. Both movies were made by (and star) Stephen Chow, and both are hilarious fun.

Shaolin Soccer is sort of a Bad News Bears movie. Chow is concerned with making the martial arts relevant to modern society, and he's always got a scheme (including one that gives us the worst singing duo since Hoffman and Beatty teamed up in Ishtar. In his latest plan, Chow wants his band of brothers to form a kung fu soccer team. This suits Golden Leg fine. He wants revenge against the owner of Team Evil (yes, that's its name) because the owner had his leg broken years before.

You pretty much know what's going to happen, and sure enough it does. The kung fu team tears through the opposition, right up until the Big Game, when they meet Team Evil, a bunch of guys who have even more kung fu powers (the cheaters!) than our heroes. I won't tell you the outcome of the game, since you know it already, but maybe the way it happens will surprise you.

Like Kung Fu Hustle, this movie throws in some singing and dancing in places you'd least expect. It also has a love story, and lots of laughs. There's no sequel, so far, but I read somewhere that Kung Fu Hustle 2 is being filmed. I'm ready.

Compulsive Hoarding Syndrome

What's really scary isn't that I have several of these sympoms. What's really scary is the sentence that says, "The condition worsens with age."

Lansing State Journal: Amassing a mess too ugly to live in: "Compulsive Hoarding Syndrome
• What is it: The disorder, which is classified under obsessive-compulsive disorder, has three key components: overacquisition of things; disorganization; failure to discard items that appear to have little value.

• Characteristics: Sufferers often feel a hyper-responsibility to care for items. For example, a person may collect recyclables, fearing no one else will see them to their proper place. The condition worsens with age.

• Hallmark symptom: Stuff takes over places designed for other purposes. For example, items may be stacked on a stove so the stove can no longer be used, or stacked on a bed so the bed can no longer be used or even stacked in a shower.

• Treatment: Compulsive hoarding tends to be more resistant to treatment than other forms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. That is because all three components - overacquisition, disorganization and failure to discard - need to be treated.

Source: Hoarding expert Irene Tobis, a Chicago psychologist"

An Interview with Ray Harryhausen

Ray Harryhausen | The A.V. Club: "Just before embarking for America, where he'll be touring through early May, Harryhausen talked with The A.V. Club about his life and his new book The Art Of Ray Harryhausen, which looks back at his career from his high-school days building mammoths out of his mother's discarded fur coat to his latest work as a bronze sculptor."

Rock On

From the March 21st edition of The Writer's Almanac and Garrison Keillor:

It was on this day in 1952 that Allan Freed organized the first ever rock and roll concert, the Moondog Coronation Ball, in Cleveland, Ohio.

In 1951 Alan Freed took to the airwaves for the first time under the name Moondog. He was convinced by a record storeowner named Leo Mintz to play rhythm and blues songs to an audience of mostly white teenagers. This was a new idea at the time, and it made Freed very popular with his audience.

Freed became a favorite in Cleveland, and so he decided to hold a concert, the Moondog Coronation Ball, for his loyal listeners. He hired bands like the Dominoes, the Rockin' Highlanders, Tiny Grimes and Danny Cobb to play the Cleveland Arena which held 10,000 people. At first, Freed was afraid the concert would be a bust because nobody would show up. But thousands of teenagers lined the sidewalks of Euclid Avenue, holding tickets Freed had printed, eager to hear these black artists perform their music. The arena filled easily, and thousands of teenagers were barred from entering, even though they had tickets.

The first performer that night was Paul "Hucklebuck" Williams. During his first song, the barred teenagers tried to force their way inside. They broke doors and windows, people were knocked down and pushed aside, and fights broke out all over the arena. The police closed down the concert after Williams had played only one song.

Roast Alligator

Boing Boing: Ever wondered what roast alligator tastes like?:
"Esther Dyson's amazing food snapshot from the recent VIP 'Explorer's Club' dinner may not answer that question, but it does show you what oven-roasted alligator looks like. "

Nightstand Books

Click the link for an excellent article, not to mention a checklist with cover scans!

Lynn Munroe Books: "William L. Hamling started publishing Nightstand Books in Illinois in 1959. The little paperback originals with pink or yellow spines and titles like SEX GANG and SIN GIRLS were immediate best sellers, and Nightstand brought more out each month, a couple hundred of them over the next few years. And other lines were spawned by the same publishing house: first Midnight Readers, then Leisure Books and Ember Library and many more, a couple thousand of them over the next decade."

Ernest Hemingway, Spy

TheStar.com - Ernest Hemingway, secret agent: "Ernest Hemingway, secret agent
Mar. 19, 2006. 10:43 AM
PETER MOREIRA
SPECIAL TO THE STAR

In 1994, I began to look around Hong Kong for Hemingway the Literary Adventurer. What I discovered instead was Hemingway the Spy."

This article, like the one below, was called to my attention by contributors to the fictionmags list.

Noir Town

Noir Town: "The hard life of John McIntyre, the legendary Philly novelist nobody's heard of."

This long article by Kevin Plunkett is from Duane Swierczynski's paper. Well worth your time.

I'm Considering an Offer of the Same Deal to Readers of my New Book

Turkmen president offers a place in heaven to his readers - Yahoo! News: "ASHGABAT (AFP) - Turkmenistan's president-for-life Saparmurat Niyazov announced on state television that anyone reading his philosophical work three times would be assured a place in heaven.

'Anyone who reads the Rukhnama three times will find spiritual wealth, will become more intelligent, will recognise the divine being and will go straight to heaven,' Niyazov said Monday."

That's my book there on the left. You can get it at your friendly independent mystery bookstore or here. It's an April 15 release, so you might have to wait a couple of weeks.

Brokeback Bunnies

Brokeback Mountain in 30 seconds. With Bunnies.

Headline of the Day

GOOGLE BEATS OFF THE GOVERNMENT

Court ruling mostly in its favour

By Nick Farrell: Monday 20 March 2006, 08:01

SEARCH outfit Google has managed to tell the US government to go forth and multiply over its demands that it hand over details of keywords that its punters choose to search.

US Justice Department wanted the data so it could back a Bush administration initiative to defend a federal law created to shield children from online pornography.

A History of Violence

If you haven't seen this movie, then you probably shouldn't read any more of this because the whole thing is one giant SPOILER.

Having gotten that out of the way, let me say that I liked A History of Violence quite a bit. I was reminded of a couple hundred westerns I saw as a kid, the ones where the gunfighter is trying to give up his life of violence and start over. This movie's not quite in the Shane mold, but that should give you an idea. Someone always comes along and screws things up.

Viggo Mortensen plays Tom Stalls, who's not really the guy he appears to be. When a couple of murderous drifters come into his diner with intent to kill, Tom's hidden depths are revealed to the town and to his family, none of whom had any idea about his past. Will Tom be able to hang onto his present, or will he get pulled back into the old ways? Will his family be able to forgive him? Has his son inherited Tom's violent nature (and his reaction times, along with his fighting skills), and if he has, can he control himself? Are there situations in which violence is the only answer? Most of these questions aren't resolved, but they're there for you to think about.

The movie has an almost leisurely pace at times, and the violence, when it occurs, is over quickly. Things happen fast, and then they're done. This morning I was talking to a woman who recently survived a terrible traffic accident. She saw Jeep Cherokee swerve off the road and into a ditch. She said, "I thought it would flip over and that someone would be hurt or killed, but I didn't think it would be me. The next thing I knew, the Jeep was back on the road and on the hood of my car and bam! that was all." The movie reminded me of that.

There's a great scene near the end with William Hurt, who was nominated for an Academy Award for his brief appearance. He deserved the nomination. It's the best performance I've seen from him in years. He's scary and hilarious at the same time.

Highly recommended.

Twelve Books that Changed the World

The world's best books - Sunday Times - Times Online:
"When Melvyn Bragg set out to pick the books that changed mankind he found himself making some startling choices"

You can read the whole article, or you can just scroll down and read the list. How many of the books on it have you read?

Top 100 Overlooked Films of the '90s

O.F.C.S.: The Online Film Critics Society: "July 27, 2004: It was the decade of Tarantino and Titanic. From Schindler's List to The Blair Witch Project, movies and the hype that went with them seemed bigger than ever.

However, too many great films somehow got lost in the shuffle. While some were recalled by Oscar voters and many managed to squeak out a modest box office return, these films nonetheless failed to click in the memory banks of both the critics and with audiences.

The writers of the Online Film Critics Society recalls the half- and completely-forgotten treasures of the past decade cinematic canon with its list of the Top 100 Overlooked Films of the 1990s. Join us for a trip back into the not-so-distant past and see if you recall the titles celebrated here by the OFCS writers."

Yes, it's another of those lists. I've seen a frightening number of the movies ( or films) on it. Probably not as many as some of you, however.

Old Man's War -- John Scalzi

In John Scalzi's future, you can join the Colonial Defense Forces when you're seventy-five and go out among the stars to fight for humanity's survival. Somehow the CDF will "improve" that old body and make it fight for fighting, but no one can find out how until he (or she) joins and is sent up the beanstalk. And that's about all I'll say about that. I don't want to spoil any of the book's surprises.

Old Man's War is narrated by John Perry, who joins the CDF after the death of his wife (they'd planned to join together). What happens next might be vaguely familiar to fans of Robert Heinlein, and Scalzi couldn't be happier if you find that to be the case. In some ways this is an unabashed tribute to Heinlein and Starship Troopers, but it's also reminiscent of Joe Haldeman's The Forever War, which I believe was Haldeman's response to Heinlien.

Another thing the book has going for it is good old-fashioned storytelling. A lot of contemporary SF leaves me cold because the writers seem to have forgotten that necessary element. But Scalzi hasn't. I mean that as a high compliment. And I like the writing style, too: simple, straighforward, supple, graceful.
I thoroughly enjoyed Old Man's War. Check it out.

Richard Wormser

I really like Richard Wormser's work, particularly his novels for Gold Medal Books. Which is why I gotta have this.

Junebug

Junebug doesn’t have any explosions or car chases. It just barely has a plot. A guy named George, who’s from North Carolina, meets a cosmopolitan chick named Madeline in Chicago, and they get married. His family doesn’t attend the wedding. When Madeline, who’s an art dealer, wants to go to North Carolina to try to sign a folk artist there, they decide to pay a visit to George’s family: George’s father, mother, brother, and sister-in-law. The visit is what the movie is about.

This ain’t Mayberry. Madeline doesn’t learn any lessons about the goodness of the slow-paced life. I’m not sure anybody learns much of anything, and that includes the audience, which never really learns how George feels about his family until the movie’s last line, and I’m not sure if we learn then. Every member of the family is closed in, and nobody communicates with anybody else, except for the sister-in-law, played by Amy Adams. She’s open and eager for someone to talk to, someone to emulate, someone to tell her things. She lights up the screen every time she’s on, and she pretty much steals the movie. It’s no wonder she was nominated for an Oscar.

There are some great lines in the movie, some careful observations of life in a small town. I’ve never been to North Carolina, but I felt right at home. In some ways, that could have been my family in Mexia, Texas, up there on the screen. Some of the movie’s funny, some of it’s sad, some of it’s hard to figure. It’s slow-paced, and some might find it drags. Not me. I enjoyed every minute of it. The next time you don’t need a car chase to get your adrenaline moving, check it out.

Now This is Really Cool

SkyScout: "The SkyScout is a revolutionary handheld device that uses advanced GPS technology with point and click convenience to instantly identify thousands of stars, planets, constellations and more."

Mystery*File Update

Absolutely essential stuff.

GIL BREWER, by Bill Pronzini and Lynn Munroe.: "You want to know what the life of a working mystery writer is really like? Gil Brewer could tell you. He could tell you about the taste of success and fame that never quite becomes a meal; the shattered dreams and lost hopes, the loneliness, the rejections and failures and empty promises, the lies and deceit, the bitterness, the self-doubts, the dry spells and dried-up markets, the constant and painful grubbing for enough money to make ends meet. He could tell you about all of that, and much more. He would, too, if he were still alive. But he isn’t."

Good Day in Hell -- J. D. Rhoades & Sea Change -- Robert B. Parker

The Devil's Right Hand introduced Jack Keller, who works for H & H Bail Bonds in North Carolina. It was clear in that book that Jack had a lot of bad stuff in his head, left over from the first Gulf War, and in J. D. Rhoades's Good Day in Hell we find out what a lot of it is. We also find out, as if we hadn't already, that working for a bail bondsman (or bondswoman in this case) is at least as dangerous as fighting in Iraq. This time, Jack's dealing with mass murderers who make the Freeway Killers look like wussies. He's also trying to make a go of his relationship with Sheriff's Deputy Marie Jones, but Jack's not good at relationships, to understate the case. The action is fast and furious, with plenty of fighting, shooting, and sex all tossed into an enjoyable mix of complex characters and violent set-pieces. Good writing, too. Don't miss this one.

Then we come to Robert B. Parker's Sea Change, the latest Jesse Stone novel. Why, you're probably asking yourself, is Crider reviewing these two together? There's a very good reason, that's why. But you should't read any further if you plan to read both of them, because SPOILER ALERT, WILL ROBINSON! both books turn on the very same major plot point. Not that I'm going to tell you what it is right here. END SPOILER ALERT! Parker's book is lean and dialogue heavy. In fact, if Parker uses any more dialogue in the next one, it's going to be a play instead of a novel. But he does it expertly, in my opinion. Anyway, the body of a woman washes ashore in Paradise, and of course it turns out that she was murdered. Will Stone prove that he's mas macho que tu? Damned right. Will he solve the crime? Sure, but he gets a little help this time from a cop in Florida who does a bit of investigating on her own. I always enjoy Parker's writing, and even though this book took me only an hour or so to read, I still recommend it highly.

You Read It Here Second

The Saturday Boy: "Allan Guthrie's finally got off his shapely behind and updated Noir Originals (check out the new author photo) and it's well worth the wait."

Ray Banks beat me to it, but be sure to check out the new articles, interviews, and so on.

Things I Never Read in a Ken Bruen Novel

From Dave Barry's Blog: "In Ireland, if somebody is a wimp, you call that person, quote, 'a big girl's blouse,' as in 'Ah, you're a big girl's blouse.' You can also call such a person 'a complete handbag.'"

Today's Croc News

Man in court after 1067 baby crocs found - The World - Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au:
From: Agence France-Presse
From correspondents in George, South Africa

March 15, 2006

A MAN allegedly caught with 1067 baby crocodiles in his car appeared in a South African court overnight.
Paul Gildenhuys of Cape Nature Conservation's environmental crime unit said the man faced charges of possession and transport of the crocodiles without the necessary permits.

There was no immediate information about where the crocodiles came from and where they were to be sold."

I'm Among the Faint at Heart

RGJ.com: 'Testicle festival,' this weekend-Virginia City offers food, fun: "It's not a festival for the faint of heart.

But organizers of the 15th annual Mountain Oyster Fry -- known among Virginia City locals as the 'testicle festival' -- say Saturday will be filled with good food and fun.

'They're all officially known as 'gonadologists,'' Jett Aguilar, chairwoman of this year's cookoff said of the participants, 'and they actually think that's just great.'"

Happy Birthday, Max Shulman!

Max Shulman, born this day in 1919, was another of my formative influences. (He died in 1988.) I laugh just thinking about some of his novels and stories. Lots of people remember Dobie Gillis because of a TV series. I remember him because of Shulman's books. I have a stack of those books here to re-read, and I should do that one of these days.

The Mafia Name Generator

Here's a link provided by Walter Satterthwait (or, as he's known to the Mob, Fat Alphonse Giordano. Walter's the author of the terrific Perfection, as you may know, and you should get a copy soon. Either that or Fat Alphonse will drop a dime on you. (I'm Nicky the Brain, by the way.)

The Mafia Name Generator

Happy Birthday, Phil Phillips!

"Sea of Love" is one of the great ones. It owes a lot of its success to the back-up group, the Twilights, but Phil Phillips was the lead, and he really sold it. Here's a RealAudio clip: streaming mp3

Goldband Artist Phil Phillips: "Born John Phillip Baptiste on March 14, 1931 in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Phil Phillips was a member of the Gateway Quartet and a bellhop before he recorded 'Sea of Love.'

'Sea of Love' was arranged and produced by Eddie Shuler for neighbor George Khoury's label. The first time Eddie heard the song he knew it would be a hit. They took their time with the arrangement, building up the vocal group and trying out different musicians. After three months of work, the song was ready for release. The record sold heavily and was leased to Mercury Records. 'Sea of Love' went to #2 in the U.S. pop charts and spent 14 weeks in the top 40. It sold over two million copies in 1957."

Mystery*File Update

MYSTERY*FILE ON-LINE: "March 13. IN THE FRAME. In Vince Keenan’s latest column of commentary on books and film, he discusses two books from Europa Editions (by Massimo Carlotto and Patrick Hamilton) and then compares the two versions of the classic noir film KISS OF DEATH, both available now on DVD."

Depressing News on the Pecker Front

Twitchers in a flap over elusive pecker | The Register:
"'Very rare' bird actually extinct all along?
By Chris Williams
Published Monday 13th March 2006 14:59 GMT

It was with great fanfare last summer that the US Fish and Wildlife service trumpeted the rediscovery of an apparently 'extinct' species: the ivory-billed woodpecker. Until a Cornell team reported the sighting in a Arkansas swamp, the iconic bird had not been spotted for more than 60 years.

The revelation was the hottest news to hit the bird watching community in years, and the administration moved quickly to appoint a dedicated 'recovery team'. They threw $10m at the tenuous grip on existence the species happily seemed to retain.

But now, almost a year on with no further sightings, others are casting aspersions on the original Science identification."

Bigfoot Update

Channelnewsasia.com: "JOHOR : Investigators who found what is believed to be a clear footprint of Malaysia's own 'Bigfoot' are waiting to meet the Johor Chief Minister. They want to present him with a cast of the print found in the rainforest and get his permission to carry out further investigations. They came from across the world, drawn by a common attraction - the prospect of finding Malaysia's very own Bigfoot. "

I hope they're all going to buy a copy of my new book. (Photo on left.)

Prayers for the Assassin -- Robert Ferrigno

I wanted to like this book more than I did. It's what the movie guys call "a futuristic thriller," set in 2044 in an America that's dominated by Muslim culture and religion. While it could have been marketed as science fiction, the publishers must have thought that would be the kiss of death. It might also have invited comparisons with George Alec Effinger's series of novels about Marid Audran, books which I believe to a much better job of picturing what the world would be like in a future where the Muslims run things.

That's not to say that Ferrigno's book isn't effective in some ways. The thriller elements work very well indeed, and if that's what you're looking for, you'll certainly find them. Someone's probably working on the screen play even now.

Ferrigno's a writer whose work deserves to be better known, but I'd suggest that you start with one of his other novels like Scavenger Hunt or Heart Breaker.

And for a slightly different take on Prayers for the Assassin today, check out Vince Keenan's blog.

Where the Buffalo Roam

Judy and I took a quick trip up the road to visit her mother yesterday. And while you might not expect to catch sight of a herd of bison in East Texas, you can sometimes do just that about five miles out of Thornton, Judy's hometown. Here's a snapshot I made this morning.

Happy Birthday, Peyton Place!

Update 3: 50 Years Later, 'Peyton' Memories Remain - Forbes.com: "Grace Metalious' sensational story of sex, violence and other scandals in a small New England town, based in part on Gilmanton, made the author an international celebrity and a local pariah. It transformed an otherwise obscure township into a symbol of decadence and hypocrisy and rivaled Elvis Presley as a shocking breach to the official decorum of the 1950s. "

This book had a huge impact on me. I've read it at least three times. Read the whole long, interesting article at the link. And for a fictional account of a Grace Metalious-like author, check out Vin Packer's The Girl on the Bestseller List.

Stephen Marlowe

I know you all read Ed Gorman's blog, but I wanted to mention this post. Don't miss it. I've already mentioned the book, here, and there's a cover scan.

Gormania: "The cover says:
VIOLENCE IS MY BUSINESS
TURN LEFT FOR MURDER
Two Thrillers by Stephen Marlowe
and the double volume is a February 2006 publication of Stark House Press under the rubric Stark House Mystery Classics ($19.95). In the front matter you’re regaled with an ISBN number (1-933586-02-8) and other publishing impedimenta—and finally the key dates, 1958 and 1955."

It Might as well be Spring

It's a well-known fact that I hate to mow the lawn. The only good thing about the drought conditions in Texas this year is that I didn't have to mow in January of February like I did last year. Today, however, I cranked up the old mower and shoved it over the lawn for an hour or so. I'll admit it looks better. The neighbors on both sides had mowed a week or more ago, but I refused to give in. I couldn't put it off any longer, however. Now the grind begins, week after week. The heat. The humidity. The sweat. The whining. I'm really looking forward to it.

Recommended Reading at Mystery*File

MYSTERY*FILE ON-LINE: "March 9. ROBERT MARTIN. A profile in three parts. (1) An overview of Robert Martin’s writing career by Jim Felton, who grew up in the same Ohio town as the author. (2) A complete checklist of all of Martin’s books and short stories, including those he wrote as Lee Roberts. (3) Coverage by Gary Warren Niebuhr of Martin’s most well-known character, private eye Jim Bennett, with an in-depth look at each of the novels Bennett appeared in."

Happy Birthday, Amazing Stories!

According to a post to fictionmags by Mike Ashley, March 10, 1926, was the day the first issue of Amazing Stories went on sale at newsstands. That makes the magazine 80 years old today. I first encountered it in the 1950s. I can't begin to tell you how excited I was at the appearance of a new issue. People will tell you now that the magazine was at a low point at that time, and that the stories were pretty uniformly bad. Maybe so, but I didn't know it at the time. I read each issue straight through as soon as I bought it, and every story was magic to me. I think I'll pull out one of those old issues right now and have a look.

Suddenly I'm not Hungry

Waiter, waiter, there's a penis in my hotpot. 10/03/2006. ABC News Online: "China's exotic food industry has a new addition, a restaurant that specialises in animal extremities.

China's increased wealth has brought a growing demand for exotic delicacies.

A new Beijing restaurant is serving up traditional hotpot with a difference.

Customers can choose from more than 30 kinds of penis - including yak, donkey, dog, ox or even seal.

Although a meal can cost more than $500, the restaurant still boasts a loyal clientele.

Eating penis is said to improve everything from male virility to skin tone.

The new delicacy joins old Chinese favourites such as frog, silkworm, scorpion, dog and snake."

More Cool News

Rat-Squirrel Not Extinct After All - Yahoo! News: "WASHINGTON - It has the face of a rat and the tail of a skinny squirrel — and scientists say this creature discovered living in central Laos is pretty special: It's a species believed to have been extinct for 11 million years.

The long-whiskered rodent made international headlines last spring when biologists declared they'd discovered a brand new species, nicknamed the Laotian rock rat.

It turns out the little guy isn't new after all, but a rare kind of survivor: a member of a family until now known only from fossils."

Happy Birthday, Mickey Spillane!

Mickey Spillane is 88 years old today. By way of celebration, here's a photo of the Mick with Judy Crider at the Milwaukee Bouchercon in 1981. Judy still looks exactly the same, and I'll bet Spillane does, too.

Cool News

New Scientist Breaking News - Watery atmosphere discovered on Saturn's moon: "Saturn's snow-white moon, Enceladus, is shrouded by a thin water-vapour atmosphere, reveal measurements from the US-European Cassini spacecraft. The atmosphere may be pumped out by erupting ice volcanoes or geysers - which could signal toeholds for life on the tiny moon."

Beyond Body Piercing

From Wired News: Shannon Larratt was a child when he first dreamed about modifying his body. When his father would make pizza and sit with him to watch Star Trek, Larratt was captivated by the diverse looks of people from other worlds. He was particularly taken with the forehead ridges.

In Larratt's ideal world, "Everyone looks interesting, everyone looks different." So when body modification artist Steve Haworth invented a way to implant jewelry under human skin, Larratt jumped on the opportunity.

After Haworth was done, Larratt's forehead sported two symmetrical ridges that stretched at a jaunty angle from a spot above his temples down toward his eyebrows.

Larratt was an early adopter of subdermal implants, a form of 3-D body modification pioneered in 1994 at Haworth's piercing shop in Phoenix, Arizona. The first human canvas for the art form was a woman from New Zealand who came in and asked for a bracelet. Haworth pondered the challenge, then suggested that he could place series of beads under the skin around her wrist. She enthusiastically agreed.

Another Mystery*File Update!

MILTON K. OZAKI - An Homage, by Bill Crider:

Originally written and compiled
For EyeCon, 1995

In addition to being the author of more than twenty mystery novels, many of them featuring private eyes, Milton K. Ozaki, who also wrote as Robert O. Saber, was a newspaperman, an artist, and the operator of a beauty parlor.

You might know him as one of the stars of Bill Pronzini’s Son of Gun in Cheek (1987). In addition to devoting several pages to the glories of a non-PI novel (Dressed to Kill), Bill quotes what is probably my favorite line in the entire Ozaki oeuvre: “What the hell is this all about?” Hara demanded. “Damnit, I thought I made it clear that you weren’t to do any private dicking!” (Maid for Murder, 1955). "

Click the link for more, plus cover scans.

Happy Birthday, Leslie Fiedler

I stole the following comments from The Writer's Almanac. Many years ago (40!) I read Love and Death in the American Novel for the first time. It was a revelation to me, a way of writing about literature I'd never encountered before. George Kelley, well aware of my admiration for the book, was lucky enough to have Fiedler on his dissertation committee and got me a signed copy of the book. Thanks again, George.

It's the birthday of the literary critic Leslie Fielder, (books by this author) born in Newark, New Jersey (1917). He's best known for his book Love and Death in the American Novel (1960). He was one of the first American critics to argue in favor of popular culture. He loved comic books and horror movies and soap operas, and he once said that the only writer of the late 20th century who would be remembered was Stephen King. He believed that the great theme of American literature was the search for identity. He said, "Americans have no real identity. We're all ... uprooted people who come from elsewhere."

Robots

I liked just about everything about this movie. It's a pleasure just to look at it, and there's a Rube Goldberg nuttiness to the whole thing that I really enjoyed. The transportation system in Robot City is worth the whole price of admission.

The plot (young robot goes to big city to follow his dream, encounters real problems) is just an excuse for plenty of slapstick, with all kinds of joking references to other movies thrown in. There's so much going on all the time that you'd probably have to watch the movie several times just to catch half of the stuff that's being tossed out there.

And I'm always amazed at how good the acting in some animated movies is. I don't mean just the voices (and this one has an amazing cast in that regard), but the facial expression and body language of the animated stars.

You can watch Robots and feel good for a long time afterward. Check it out, if you haven't already.

Mystery*File Update

Ziff-Davis Fingerprint Mysteries: "A COMPLETE SET OF FINGERPRINTS

An Annotated Checklist of the Fingerprint Mystery Series published by Ziff-Davis,
by Bill Pronzini, Victor Berch & Steve Lewis"

Great stuff, with cover scans. Check it out.

Remembering the Alamo

Chron.com | Remembering the Alamo lost in time: "170 years later, tourism clouds the sacredness of the hard-fought battle

By AMY DORSETT
San Antonio Express-News

SAN ANTONIO - Strolling the grounds of the Alamo, where background noise is provided by hucksters across the street trying to lure tourists to their gaudy attractions, it's easy to forget that the area is sacred ground.

It was 170 years ago on March 6 that hundreds died.

Even the landmark's own gift shop can feature less-than-tasteful souvenirs (nothing says Remember the Alamo quite like a $5.25 ashtray made in China), and last spring it offered temporary tattoos as a fundraiser.

Between the commercial distractions and a population that seems permanently tethered to cell phones, keeping the sacredness of the Alamo intact has become a growing challenge for those who operate the Shrine of Texas Liberty.

'There are things we have no control over, so we control what we can,' said Bruce Winders, curator and historian of the Alamo."

It's Azalea Time in Alvin

Sample on the left, and you can see a slideshow by clicking here.

Open-Minded Arkies

Arkansas Times: "Who says Arkansas is closed-minded? According to a recent weekly New York Times ranking of various media, Arkies seem more interested in the cowboy love story Brokeback Mountain than residents of other states.

The Times said: “According to Hitwise, which measures Internet traffic, 57 percent of the visitors to the official movie Web site in the four weeks ending Jan. 28 were male, and 54 percent of them were ages 25 to 44.”

By region, the highest index of visitors was from Arkansas. That is, Arkansas residents who went online were more than two times as likely to visit www.brokebackmountain.com as the overall Internet population in the United States. "

Oscar Report, Part the Second

I became aware that the Academy Awards were a fraud when Denise Richards (left, the one who's not Neve Campbell) was shamefully omitted from the nominations after her sterling performance in Wild Things. Denise, however, was not deterred. She "stretched" for the part of nuclear scientist in The World is not Enough. Yes, a nuclear scientist. Even Niels Bohr would have been convinced. But did she get nominated? Nooooooooo. It was then that I determined that the Awards were nothing more than a "popularity contest" and not worthy of my attention. And when Denise wasn't nominated for Undercover Brother, I gave up on them entirely.

Oscar Report

No doubt you're all wondering what a hip, with-it Hollywood insider such as myself thought about the Oscar telecast last night. I didn't watch. I decided to read a book instead.

Art Buchwald in His Final Days

For many years I read Art Buchwald's column every time it appeared. He could almost always make me laugh. Then the papers I got stopped carrying it, and I never tried to find it on the Internet. I'm sorry now that I didn't.

My paternal grandfather died of diabetes, much like Buchwald is doing, after having both legs amputated. My grandfather didn't get dialysis, but I don't know that it was even available back in 1947. Like Buchwald he was upbeat, even the last time I saw him. I think they'd have liked each other.

A Visit with Art Buchwald in His Final Days:
March 04, 2006
By Suzette Martinez Standring

SOURCE:Editor & Publisher

MILTON, Mass.—Renowned author and columnist Art Buchwald has refused dialysis, and it's only a matter of time, maybe a short time, before he dies. For a man awaiting The Reaper, he's in unusually fine fettle."

Must-Read Books?

Yes, it's another list. Some I've never read and don't plan to read. One I've never heard of. I've read most of the others already, though.

Guardian Unlimited Books | News | Harper Lee tops librarians' must-read list: "Harper Lee tops librarians' must-read list

MIchelle Pauli
Thursday March 2, 2006

It was published over 40 years ago and its American author has lived as a virtual recluse ever since, but according to Britain's librarians, Harper Lee's To Kill a Mocking Bird is the book that everyone should read."

In Good Company

For a while, fifteen or twenty years ago, I thought Dennis Quaid was going to be a big star. He had the looks and that killer grin, and he could even act a little. But for some reason he never quite made it. The Right Stuff, The Big Easy, Innerspace, the remake of D.O.A., Everybody's All-American. They didn't put him over the top. Then he made Great Balls of Fire, which was pretty awful. Maybe he never recovered from that. Anyway, he still makes an interesting movie now and then, and this is one of them.

Quaid plays Dan Foreman, an ad salesman for a sports magazine, whose company is taken over by a conglomerate. Suddenly Dan finds that he has a new boss half his age. People get fired. The new boss dates Dan's daughter. Dan's wife is pregnant. You're thinking this can't end well. It does, though maybe not convincingly.

Topher Grace, who plays the new boss, Carter Duryea, manages to do very well in a part that requires him to be scared on the inside and confident on the outside (except with Foreman's daughter), and it's on his character that the movie finally turns. Both he and Foreman learn something about themselves and about the need for change, but it's Carter who has farther to go.

Things probably never work out quite so well in real life as they do in movies like this one, but then again maybe they always do. As Jake Barnes says at the end of The Sun Also Rises, "Isn't it pretty to think so."

Side by Side #3

Here we have the 1956 Graphic Books edition of Richard Powell's Say it with Bullets side by side with the new Hard Case Crime reprint.

Not That There's Anything Wrong with That

Dan Brown, Cover Your Eyes: Gay Porn 'Da Vinci' Adaptation to Be Released Same Day as Ron Howard's 'Da Vinci Code'

March 01, 2006
By Chuck Shelton

Production outfit PZP Productions has announced plans to release its gay-sex film The DaVinci Load on May 19, the same day the movie that it parodies—Ron Howard’s The Da Vinci Code—is scheduled to hit theaters.

PZP head Peter Zaragoza told Gay Video News, “The DaVinci Load is our most ambitious and expensive film to date. The star, new discovery Sebastian Young, is a hot bad-boy with a [remarkable appendage] and great charisma.”

Sunset at the Crider Manse

If you look up at the top, in the middle, you can see the fingernail sliver of the moon.

Just in Time for Texas Independence Day

The photo on the left if of the San Jacinto Monument at the battlefield were Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna. As you can see, it now overlooks the Houston Ship Channel. The story below is related to Texas Independence Day.

WASHINGTON - One of the state's most historic documents is back where it was created.

Four mounted Texas Rangers Tuesday escorted a stagecoach carrying documents penned at the birth of the Texas Republic back to the place where ink was applied to the now yellowing paper.

The Star of the Republic Museum at Washington-on-the-Brazos State Historic Site will display the 170-year-old documents beginning Thursday, which also happens to be Texas Independence Day.

The papers include what is believed to be the first draft of the Republic of Texas Constitution.

The constitution was written in 1836 at Washington-on-the-Brazos as Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna and his troops battled with Texans seeking independence from Mexico.

‘‘This document was touched by patriots,'' Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson said. ‘‘These guys heard the hoofbeats over their shoulders as they drafted this.''

The draft was lost to history until an archivist at the Texas General Land Office identified it two years ago in the agency's collections.

An armored vehicle picked up the historic document from the land office in Austin Tuesday morning to return it temporarily to the historic site on the banks of the Brazos River.

At the historic site, the papers, which were stored in a strong box, were transferred to a stagecoach escorted by four mounted Texas Rangers who took it the rest of the way home.

Lindsay Lohan's Nipples

No, I don't have any pictures. But this guy does: What Would Tyler Durden Do?

And in the interest of truth and honesty, it's only one nipple. Click the link at your own risk.

Into the Blue

I'm with James Reasoner on this one. It's not a bad little movie. But then I'm a sucker for pirate treasure. Throw in a some really nice underwater photography, Jessica Alba and Ashley Scott in bikinis, and I'm there. Sure there are people holding their breaths for what seems like five or six minutes. Sure the actors aren't ready for Shakespeare. Sure the plot's a little too cute. But who cares? Certainly not me, movie slut that I am.

My Homie!

Chron.com | Former Playmate Smith charms the high court:
"Smith's case goes to Washington and could leave with a surprising result

By PATTY REINERT
Copyright 2006 Houston Chronicle Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON - Outside the U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday, photographers trampled each other as they tried to get glamour shots of Anna Nicole Smith, former Playboy Playmate and widow of an elderly Houston oil tycoon.

Inside the buttoned-down, no-cameras-allowed courtroom, the onetime Texas stripper, who has waged a fierce and often comical legal battle to inherit her late husband's fortune, was just another role player in heels and a conservative, knee-length black dress.

Her appearance before the highest court in the land was the latest episode in an 11-year-old Texas soap opera, and it offered the prospect of an ending worthy of the short story master O. Henry.

Judging from what happened inside the court Tuesday, Smith might just win.

Despite her uncharacteristically demure demeanor, or perhaps because of it, Smith, or her legal cause, or both, seemed to charm several men — and the one woman — on the bench."

Thanks to McGinnis expert Art Scott for the photo tip. Art believes that Anna's had a little work done. He's such a cynic.

One Tough Gramma

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Crocodile-wrestling gran honoured:
"A 61-year-old Australian grandmother has received a bravery award for wrestling a giant saltwater crocodile as it dragged her friend from a tent.

Alicia Sorohan was awoken by screams while camping in Queensland and jumped on the 4.2 metre (14ft) reptile's back in an attempt to distract it.

The animal then turned on her, breaking her nose and almost ripping her arm off before her son shot it."

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the tip.

Scooped Again!

Yes, once again Banjo Jones has come up with Alvin news that I missed. I beat him on the "Honk for Tittys" sign, though.

THE BRAZOSPORT NEWS: "Recently, in Alvin, former hometown of fireball pitcher Nolan Ryan, state environmental authorities handled two cases.

One was against the Wee Mart, a little rundown convenience store.

The other was against Equistar Chemicals, L.P., a wholly owned subsidiary of Lyondell Chemical Co., which is traded on the New York Stock Exchange."

The Sad Decline in the Spelling Skills of America's Youth

This morning when I was out for a little jog, I went by the Alvin High School parking lot. A little red truck parked there had this painted across the back window: "Happy Birthday! Honk for Tittys!" While I admire the sentiment, I deplore the spelling.

Another Mexia, Texas, Story

Just so you don't think Anna Nicole Smith is the only woman from Mexia, Texas, to make it big in Washington, here's story about Mary (Martin) Ourisman, Mexia High School Class of 1965. (The photo at left is from an earlier event.)

Forget the Script. Try the Backstory.: "Yee haw! Laura Bush was the surprise guest at a Texas-themed birthday party for GOP hostess Mary Ourisman yesterday. The bipartisan luncheon for 24 'Texas girls' at the Northwest Washington home of NBC4 anchor Barbara Harrison celebrated all things Lone Star: Tex-Mex food, cowboy hats and bandanas, and a fiddler. The first lady joined in a version of 'Deep in the Heart of Texas' customized for Ourisman: She's cute, it's true, Her faults are few, Just like the state of Texas.

After enough verses of that, we would have begged for a margarita.

And for all those keeping track: Harrison, who has lost four pounds on her on-air sweeps diet, skipped the tres leches cake."

Miss Smith Goes to Washington

I'm back from ConDFW, and the big news is that Anna Nicole Smith is doing the old hometow proud. Well, that and the fact that Don Knotts, Darren McGavin, and Dennis Weaver have died. A sad weekend indeed.

Star-Telegram.com | 02/26/2006 | Anna Nicole Smith case gets Supreme Court hearing: "Anna Nicole Smith case gets Supreme Court hearing
By DAVE MONTGOMERY
Star-Telegram Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON - Even participating attorneys admit that Supreme Court Case No. 04-1544 is dry and legally esoteric. So why does Marshall v. Marshall get so much attention?

Three words: Anna Nicole Smith.

Smith, whose evolution from topless dancer to celebrity widow to reality-TV star is the antithesis of dull, descends on the nation’s highest court Tuesday in her long-running claim for the fortune of her late husband, Texas billionaire J. Howard Marshall II.

The 38-year-old former Playmate of the Year is expected to be present in the court chambers as attorneys argue the case for one hour before the nine black-robed justices. But those looking for any display of flamboyance inside or outside the court are apt to be disappointed, says her companion and attorney, Howard Stern."