"Run Joey Run" by David Geddes: the boy gets his girlfriend pregnant, her father grabs a shotgun, Dad tries to kill the boy but noble girl jumps in front of him and takes the bullet intended for him. Bathetic on every level.
"Hello, This Is Joanie" by Paul Evans: boy and girl have a fight, she leaves and is killed in a car accident on her way home, remorseful boy calls girlfriend's answering machine to hear her chirpy message: "Hello, this is Joanie. I'm sorry, but I'm not home now. But if you leave me your name and number, I promise soon as I get home I'll phone."
/What can I say? I listened to a lot of crap in my teen years.
They aren't ridiculous. They're classics. If you haven't ever done so, you need to listen to the truly insane "I Want My Baby Back."
But how do you have a "teen tragedy" list without "Teen Angel" on it? You can also add "Endless Sleep" (Jody Reynolds), "Ebony Eyes" (Everly Brothers) and "Rocky" (Austin Roberts).
Woof. I had happily not thought of "Run, Joey, Run" for decades...one of those songs getting at least a brief spurt of repeated radio play which I simply hated, in the vein of "Seasons in the Sun" or "My Girl, Bill" and still my least favored song of them all, pretty much, "I Started a Joke"....
I suppose it isn't too far a stretch to add "Brother Louie" to this sad list, even if the age of the lovers isn't quite specified.
I broke my sister's copy of "Honey", I was put on restrictions for week and had to reimburse my sister. Fortunately she bought something else with the money, so it was worth it.
What about "Emma" by Hot Chocolate (better known for the peppier and far superior "You Sexy Thing"), where Emma dies (commits suicide? It's been a while) because her man can't find a job. He then pledges, "Emma, Emma Lee/I'm gonna write your name high on that silver screen."
Definitely not teen sop-opera (not even soap opera)?
Dave Marsh and company put together a ROCK & ROLL BOOK OF LISTS back when, five or six years after the Wallace family's first big hit BOL, they were all the rage (early '80s), which included among the most distasteful songs to hit the Hot 100 "Mister Turnkey" by Zager and Evans, and a song by a band called Bloodrock about an airplane crash and the last minutes of consciousness of one of the mortally wounded. Also one of Springsteen's songs. Marsh almost apologized for the last, given how much he'd been an early booster of Springsteen. "Turnkey" apparently is in the form of a jail cell confession by a regretful rapist, who's managed to find a nail in his cell to impale one of his extremities with...tell her I'm sorry being the gist. Peppy. It was what they followed up "In the Year 2525" with...which, of course, also bit, chewed and swallowed.
"Mr. Turnkey " is indeed just as bad as Marsh suggested. Still better than "I Started a Joke" as a song, but both more bathetic and psychotic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa953qq-FDk
I remember being totally freaked out by Bloodrock's "DOA"--it was released when I was about 13 and, after the first time I heard it, I switched off the radio every time it came on. It still creeps me out 45 years later.
If we're moving off the beaten path here, how about "Timothy" by the Buoys (?) about trapped miners who resort to cannibalism by killing and eating the aforementioned Tim.
Yeah, "Timothy" has an upbeat sound much like "Rocky" but the theme is anything but.
From Rocky:
"We had lots of problems yeah but we had lots of fun, like the crazy Party when our baby girl turned one, I was proud and satisfied Life had so much to give, til the day they told me that she didn't have Long to live."
Pearl Jam's remake of "Last Kiss" is actually not bad. Eddy Vedder's voice makes it sound legitimately tragic. Fortunately I'm too young to have heard much of this dreck; we 80s kids had our own dreck to listen to.
Also - and I'm not sure I should admit it - but I like "Seasons in the Sun", not to mention "Alone Again Naturally".
26 comments:
Better than average for FL.
Two others immediately sprung to mind:
"Run Joey Run" by David Geddes: the boy gets his girlfriend pregnant, her father grabs a shotgun, Dad tries to kill the boy but noble girl jumps in front of him and takes the bullet intended for him. Bathetic on every level.
"Hello, This Is Joanie" by Paul Evans: boy and girl have a fight, she leaves and is killed in a car accident on her way home, remorseful boy calls girlfriend's answering machine to hear her chirpy message: "Hello, this is Joanie. I'm sorry, but I'm not home now. But if you leave me your name and number, I promise soon as I get home I'll phone."
/What can I say? I listened to a lot of crap in my teen years.
Those are both great. I have a "teen tragedy" CD, but those aren't on it. I must have them on other CDs, though.
They aren't ridiculous. They're classics. If you haven't ever done so, you need to listen to the truly insane "I Want My Baby Back."
But how do you have a "teen tragedy" list without "Teen Angel" on it? You can also add "Endless Sleep" (Jody Reynolds), "Ebony Eyes" (Everly Brothers) and "Rocky" (Austin Roberts).
I'm not sure "Endless Sleep" qualifies. Although it's a great one, Jody says, "I saved my baby from an endless sleep." So, tragedy averted.
I'm not sure the Lucille Ball/Mel Torme song should be included; after all, it was *intended* to be terrible..and, of course, it succeeded/
My thought exactly, Don.
Woof. I had happily not thought of "Run, Joey, Run" for decades...one of those songs getting at least a brief spurt of repeated radio play which I simply hated, in the vein of "Seasons in the Sun" or "My Girl, Bill" and still my least favored song of them all, pretty much, "I Started a Joke"....
I suppose it isn't too far a stretch to add "Brother Louie" to this sad list, even if the age of the lovers isn't quite specified.
Seasons in the Sun is on a level with Copacabana and Honey for sheer, total awfulness.
I always wondered why he let Patches kill herself rather than stand up to his parents and marry her, yet was then prepared to kill himself.
I guess that is believable teen thinking.
I'm probably glad I can't recall "Honey"...
I broke my sister's copy of "Honey", I was put on restrictions for week and had to reimburse my sister. Fortunately she bought something else with the money, so it was worth it.
What about "Emma" by Hot Chocolate (better known for the peppier and far superior "You Sexy Thing"), where Emma dies (commits suicide? It's been a while) because her man can't find a job. He then pledges, "Emma, Emma Lee/I'm gonna write your name high on that silver screen."
/So that's ok then.
Definitely not teen sop-opera (not even soap opera)?
Dave Marsh and company put together a ROCK & ROLL BOOK OF LISTS back when, five or six years after the Wallace family's first big hit BOL, they were all the rage (early '80s), which included among the most distasteful songs to hit the Hot 100 "Mister Turnkey" by Zager and Evans, and a song by a band called Bloodrock about an airplane crash and the last minutes of consciousness of one of the mortally wounded. Also one of Springsteen's songs. Marsh almost apologized for the last, given how much he'd been an early booster of Springsteen. "Turnkey" apparently is in the form of a jail cell confession by a regretful rapist, who's managed to find a nail in his cell to impale one of his extremities with...tell her I'm sorry being the gist. Peppy. It was what they followed up "In the Year 2525" with...which, of course, also bit, chewed and swallowed.
"Mr. Turnkey " is indeed just as bad as Marsh suggested. Still better than "I Started a Joke" as a song, but both more bathetic and psychotic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa953qq-FDk
Thanks for the link, Todd, though I'm sure I'll regret listening.
"DOA" by Bloodrock is also in the same league, as well as being Rilly Heavy, Maaan. Ah, such treasures. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClJLrxGClxk
The one totally egregious omission that springs instantly to mind: "Leader of the Pack"
Oh, you're quite welcome, Bill. I didn't get too far with "Honey"...
Bloodrock apparently out of Ft. Worth.
I remember being totally freaked out by Bloodrock's "DOA"--it was released when I was about 13 and, after the first time I heard it, I switched off the radio every time it came on. It still creeps me out 45 years later.
If we're moving off the beaten path here, how about "Timothy" by the Buoys (?) about trapped miners who resort to cannibalism by killing and eating the aforementioned Tim.
I remember both of those, Deb.
Yeah, "Timothy" has an upbeat sound much like "Rocky" but the theme is anything but.
From Rocky:
"We had lots of problems yeah but we had lots of fun, like the crazy
Party when our baby girl turned one, I was proud and satisfied
Life had so much to give, til the day they told me that she didn't have
Long to live."
Pearl Jam's remake of "Last Kiss" is actually not bad. Eddy Vedder's voice makes it sound legitimately tragic. Fortunately I'm too young to have heard much of this dreck; we 80s kids had our own dreck to listen to.
Also - and I'm not sure I should admit it - but I like "Seasons in the Sun", not to mention "Alone Again Naturally".
Confession is good for the soul, they say.
Yes it is, Bill, but nobody's soul should need that much good.
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