Bill Crider's Pop Culture Magazine

Saturday, January 06, 2007

A Contest

In memory of Al Blanchard, co-chair of the first three New England Crime Bake Conferences, NEMWA President and member of Sisters in Crime, the New England Crime Bake Committee is sponsoring the third annual short crime fiction contest. The prize is $100 plus publication in Level Best Books' fifth anthology of short crime fiction. The story must be a crime story by a New England author OR with a New England setting, previously unpublished (in print or electronically), no more than 5,000 words in length, and may include the following genres: mystery, thriller, suspense, caper, and horror, with no torture/killing of children or animals. This is a blind contest with NO entry fee. The winner will be a guest of the Crime Bake Committee at the New England Crime Bake, held in November, where the award will be presented in person.

The deadline for submissions is April 30, 2007. For specific submission
guidelines, click here.

I for One Welcome our New Zombie Army

Army dead to sign up for another hitch - CNN.com

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Army said Friday it would apologize to the families of about 275 officers killed or wounded in action who were mistakenly sent letters urging them to return to active duty.

The letters were sent a few days after Christmas to more than 5,100 Army officers who had recently left the service. Included were letters to about 75 officers killed in action and about 200 wounded in action.

"Army personnel officials are contacting those officers' families now to personally apologize for erroneously sending the letters," the Army said in a brief news release issued Friday night.

The Army did not say how or when the mistake was discovered. It said the database normally used for such correspondence with former officers had been "thoroughly reviewed" to remove the names of wounded or dead soldiers.

No Comment Department

CBC.ca Arts - 50 Cent launches line of G-Unit novellas

Rapper 50 Cent has ventured into the world of publishing with a line of books starring characters based on members of his former group, G-Unit.

50 Cent, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, signed copies of the books on Thursday in a New York bookstore.

The hip-hop star said he wants to take the novellas, published in a collaboration of MTV and Pocket Books, "to the top of the literary world."

"The stories in the G-Unit [are] about our life on the streets and no one knows it better than us," he said.

"Not to mention, when it comes to delivering authentic, gritty urban stories of the high and low life, our audience expects the best."

50 Cent is credited with writing the books, along with writers Nikki Turner and K. Elliot.

Last year his memoir, From Pieces to Weight, was also published by MTV/Pocket Books.

Three books in the series, Death before Dishonor, Baby Brother and The Ski Mask Way, were launched on Thursday.

The stories cover many of the same themes as 50 Cent's music, including sex, guns, cash and the short lives of street players, the publishers said.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Finn -- Jon Clinch

This book is getting a huge push from the publisher, and the author's doing a lot of publicity, with video on YouTube and so on. I'd say it's likely to be a big hit. It's the story of Pap Finn, father of the famous Huckleberry Finn, and the author's idea is that the items found by Huck and Jim in the "House of Death" chapter in Huck's own book provide clues to the life and death of Pap.

Finn's story is a dark one. Pap is a bigoted, violent drunk who is attracted to black women. He's also a murderer. He knows what he is, and he doesn't seem interested in reforming.

Some scenes in the novel are rewrites of scenes in Mark Twain's book about Huck, with of course a different spin. I think Clinch does a good job with these.

The book jumps around in time, which can be confusing if you're not ready for it. I didn't have any trouble figuring out what was happening when, but the author doesn't give you any clues like Faulkner's italics in The Sound and the Fury. The writing style is more literary than not. How you feel about it might depend on how you feel about literary writing in general. I enjoyed reading it, and the book's sense of time and the river is powerful. So is its portrait of Finn and his family: his father, a judge; his brother Will, a lawyer, and though her appearances are few and brief, his mother. Finn is a driven man, and even he doesn't know what drives him. He's an outcast from society who knows he could never live like most other men, even if he doesn't know why. He doesn't think about it. Thinking isn't his strong point.

From my point of view, Clinch made one bold misstep in the book. I can't tell you what it is without spoiling things, so I won't. All I can say is that I don't think it jibes with Twain's book at all. Clinch explains his reasoning in an afterword, but I wasn't convinced.

If the publisher's plan works, this book's going to be a bestseller and a topic of conversation. Check it out.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Port Arthur teen wants deal for bullet's removal | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

A teenager who has a bullet lodged in his forehead might allow doctors to remove the slug, his lawyer said Thursday, possibly ending a legal fight with prosecutors who think the bullet will prove the teen was involved in a shooting.

But the lawyer, Rife Kimler, said 17-year-old Joshua Bush would agree to the removal only if prosecutors agree not to pursue attempted capital murder charges. Prosecutors couldn't immediately be reached for comment Thursday.

Prosecutors have twice obtained search warrants for the bullet, but Bush and his attorney have been fighting the removal because they said it would violate Bush's civil rights.

New Webzine -- Spacesuits and Sixguns

This new zine has a cool cover and an interesting line-up. Check it out.

From the editor: "You're going to find great stories here by Michael Wiecek, Lon Prater, and Samantha Henderson and Mikal Trimm. You're also going to discover some amazing artists - Matthew Laznicka, who gave us this month's cover; Lee Kuruganti, creator of the interior illustrations; and profiles of artists David C. Simon and Nicole Chartrand, whose incredible web comics and animation deserve as wide an audience as possible.

"Here's hoping you enjoy your shot of kick-ass contemporary pulp fiction - Spacesuits and Sixguns style! May it be the first of many."

Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2006

I, of course, would never have discovered this on my own, but I provide the link as a public service, thanks to Art Scott and Steve Stilwell. It is not, of course safe for work.

Uncle Scoopy's Top 20 Nude Scenes, Year 2006

In December of each year, the Fun House runs a members' poll to select the best nude performances among that year's releases.

This year's competition was open to films and TV shows which were released in 2006, or nude scenes not eligible before 2006. On this page Scoop and the members present the poll results, our equivalent of the Oscars, as the top nude scenes of 2006.

Will the Persecution Never End?

The Sun Online - Bizarre online: Paris is sharing her bed again

HEIRESS PARIS HILTON is sharing her bed with a new companion - but it's not a fella!

The animal-loving blonde - currently dating shipping heir STAVROS NICHAROS - took a vow of celibacy last year and has revealed that she cuddles up with her pet baby monkey instead.

She said: “I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. I'm old-fashioned when it comes to that. I really am!

“Yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that's it. I don't go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, BRIGITTE BARDOT.”

The Simple Life star is also mum to a Chihuahua called TINKERBELL, a kinkajou called BABY LUV, a number of other dogs, a cockatoo and a ferret.

Paris added that if she was ever to place an ad in a lonely hearts column she'd describe herself as shy with a big appetite.

She told Australian Cosmo: “I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat."

World's Best Uke Player

Cap'n Bob sends along this link to a clip of Jake Shimabukuro playing "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." On a ukulele. Check it out.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Will the Persecution Never End?

PARIS GOT FIRED BY HER OWN CLUB - What Would Tyler Durden Do

Paris Hilton has been fired from Club Paris, the Florida nightclubs named for her. There are two clubs, one in Orlando and one in Jacksonville, both owned by Fred Khalilian, who reportedly invested 3 million dollars. Paris has invested no money but was paid to be the face of the clubs and make four appearances a year at the Orlando location. Khalilian fired Hilton for not making the scheduled appearances.

Gators vs. Pythons -- Who Wins?

Thanks to Todd Mason for the link. You can listen to the story there.

NPR : Pythons vs. Gators in Florida

Day to Day, January 3, 2007 · In South Florida, overwhelmed python owners have been releasing their pets to the wild, and now the python population threatens the region's alligators. Skip Snow, the lead wildlife biologist in Everglades National Park who is dealing with the python problem, talks with Madeleine Brand.

New Flash Fiction Blog

Aldo Calcagno has started a blog for flash stories. A couple are up already. The stories and his writer's guidelines can be found at the link.

Powder Burn Flash

Take your best shot! I'm looking for dark but well written noir that focuses on crime and mystery. Those stories with cordite get extra points! Check out the bullet points (get it?)..... I'm looking for original material. That means not published anywhere else. 1000 words or less. OK, 1001 might be OK too. You, the author, retain the copyrights to your material. What would I do with them anyway? Stories need to be fairly well edited. I don't plan on editing anyone's work.

New Blog on the Block

No doubt you'll want to add this to your bookmarks.

Victor Gischler's Blogpocalypse

Let's break the ice on this blog mofo

This is your one-stop shopping for all things Gischler. Scroll down and to the right to see the covers of novels I wrote all by myself. If I were any 12 year old kid I could make the images link to Amazon, but I'm a techno-idiot.

The Better-Than List

It's about this year's movies, and it's right here.

Lost Echoes -- Joe R. Lansdale

Joe Lansdale's back with a new novel, and it's about time. For many of you, that's all you needed to know, and you've stopped reading this and gone out to buy the book. But you can't get it yet, heh heh. Release date is Feb 13, and only powerful and influential bloggers such as myself have been able to get a look at it. Let's just say that I read it straight through in one sitting and that when you're lucky enough to join me in reading it, you won't be disappointed.

Oh, what the hell. Let's say more than that. Let's say that Harry Wilkes, because of a childhood illness, is left with the ability to "hear" the past, the violent past, that is. "It's like I hear and see ghosts in sounds," he says. This is a curse, of course, and Harry eventually becomes a drunk to avoid the visions.

After a while Harry meets another drunk, Tad, who's a former martial arts teacher. Together they try to get sober and find their centers. This works out pretty well, until the past shows up again, this time in the form of Kayla, a cop who knew Harry when they were kids. She wants him to use his ability to help her find out the truth about her father's death. Eventually Harry gives in, and what he "sees" doesn't improve things at all, certainly not for Harry, Tad, and Kayla.

Like the best of Lansdale's work, this book has all the moves: action, humor, political incorrectness, and fine storytelling. Check it out as soon as you can, and you'll see what I mean.

Beatles Reunion

ShowBizSpy - Music

Paul McCartney is planning to reunite with his late Beatles bandmate John Lennon and finish an unreleased track the pair sang together.

The Fab Four abandoned 'Now And Then' during their prime. McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr tried to resurrect the track when they put together their Beatles Anthology albums 10 years ago, but guitarist Harrison claimed it was not good enough.

Now McCartney wants to go back and finish the job.

A source tells British newspaper the Daily Express: "It has always niggled a bit with Paul that they didn't finish 'Now And Then.'"

Top Ten F/X Scenes

Hint: Tom Hanks is in two of them.

Top 10 F/X Scenes in Movie History - Popular Mechanics

Top 10 F/X Scenes in Movie History
Today, many digital effects are so subtle that movie audiences often don't notice them — but it wasn't always so. We asked industry insiders to pinpoint the biggest breakthroughs in digital F/X history.

Girls Gone Wild, Texas Style

Scandal: Cheerleaders Run Amok in Texas - Newsweek Society - MSNBC.com

Boozing, bikinis and bullying: how the scandalous behavior of five high-school cheerleaders rocked a bedroom community near Dallas.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Video at the link.

BBC NEWS | Technology | Amazon boss shows off spacecraft

The billionaire founder of amazon.com has released the first images of the launch of a private spacecraft that could bring space travel to the masses.

A video of the cone-shaped Goddard vehicle shows it climbing to about 85m (285ft) before returning back to Earth.

The test launch took place in November 2006 in a remote part of Texas, but details have only now been released.

New Thug Lit Now On-Line

Tough stuff. Stories by Dave Zeltserman, Tim Wolforth, and others. Check it out right here.

A Nice Review

James Reasoner and I have known each other for just about forever, but he's not biased in any way. (Would I lie to you?) Which is why I appreciate this so much. Thanks, James.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith Year in Review

A Year of Controversy: The Anna Nicole Saga

A Year of Controversy: The Anna Nicole Saga By Quincy Parker It began with a single mother supposedly fleeing to relative anonymity in The Bahamas to escape the clutches of the US paparazzi and has snowballed into a globally-watched controversy that has ensnared the attention of many.

Will the Persecution Never End?

PARIS HILTON - PARIS REJECTS SEX DOLL

PARIS HILTON turned down the chance to have a sex doll made in her image - because the idea freaked her out. Hilton hated the thought of strangers making love to a doll that looked exactly like her, even though the venture would have made her a fortune. She says, "I turn down perverted things, some sex things. Like a Paris Hilton blow-up doll. "They were like, 'They'll sell for $50,000 each, it'll be the real-life you.' And I'm like, 'I really don't want a real-life me with anyone, anywhere. No!'"

Ice Ice, Baby

John Duke is back on the beat:

Paris: Nice Piece of Ice - TMZ.com

Paris Hilton is known for flashing some serious bling (and other things), but it was a different kind of ice that got the heiress' attention in Las Vegas.

New Blog on the Block

Russell Davis has started a new blog devoted to western literature. Looks promising. Check it out.

Westerns for Today

A blog for discussing anything and everything related to western literature, including novels, short stories, anthologies, poetry and magazines. Other topics may include the publishing industry, related writing organizations and profiles of figures working in the genre. Comments and discussion are encouraged.

Dead Man Eating

A blog devoted to describing the last meals of prisoners about to be executed? Yes, there is one. You can find out what Saddam Hussein had to eat before he was hanged, for example.

Ice Age: The Meltdown

So you thought I couldn't sink any lower than to watch Talladega Nights? Oh, how little you know.

This is, of course, the sequel to Ice Age. It's just about as funny, and the animation is better. The plot is simple: Anthropomorphic animals of the Ice Age have to deal global warming: flee the valley or die. This "plot" is just another excuse for a dysfunctional family road movie, the Ice Age version of Little Miss Sunshine.

Dad is Manny the melancholy mammoth (mouthed by Ray Romano). There's a female mammoth (Queen Latifah) who thinks she's a 'possum. There are the hyperactive, trash-talking kids (Ellie's 'possum brothers). There's the sabertooth tiger who harbors a secret fear that he must overcome. There's Sid the comedy-relief sloth. And for padding that has nothing at all to do with the rest of the movie, there's the irrepressible Scrat.

The two best scenes are Sid's encounter with the horde of Sid-worshiping mini-sloths and the Busby Berkeley-inspired dance number with buzzards.

'Possum fans (Terrill Lee Lankford, take notice) should definitely check this one out.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Love, Death and the Toyman -- Robert S. Napier

First the admissions: Robert S. Napier, better known to some of us as "Cap'n Bob," is a frequent commenter on this blog. Though we've met on relatively few occasions, I've known him for many more years than either of us would like to think about. And I feel as if I dragged him kicking and screaming into getting this book published.

That being said, if it had been a lousy book, I wouldn't have mentioned it here at all. Luckily for all of us, it's a fine debut mystery.

Jack Lorentz, the novel's narrator, deals in collectible toys, something about which the Cap'n knows more than a little, and I got a real kick from the opening scene when Lorentz is giving the business to a fraudulent toy seller, which reminded me of some eBay experiences. Lorentz has other talents, however. He's a former investigative reporter, and he has a concealed carry permit, making him a perfect candidate to become an amateur sleuth, which is what happens when an old flame begs Jack to look into the little matter of some inconvenient bodies that have turned up on her family's vacation property.

Smooth writing, a fine mystery, and entertaining characters (some with names that will be familiar to hardcore mystery fans). A dandy debut all around. Check it out. (Meanwhile I'll be trying to force the Cap'n to get the sequel ready for publication.)

Cap'n Bob Has Applied for his Press Pass

Kate Beckinsale Loves Getting Naked In Interviews - Entertainment News, Reviews, Competitions - Entertainmentwise

Journalists have been getting an eyeful lately when they go to interview Pearl Harbour star Kate Beckinsale.

The actress has revealed her penchant for showing off intimate parts of her body while being grilled by pressmen.

And one particular Japanese reporter seemingly couldn’t take the show recently according to Femalefirst.

Says Beckinsale: “A friend made me wear this top for an interview. I had one tit entirely hanging out in front of this Japanese man.”

“I think I really scared him. He was fumbling around and couldn't get his tape recorder to work.”

I'm [Not] Ready for my Close-Up, Mr. DeMille

Does this HDTV make me look fat? - CNN.com

The holiday shopping season was expected to sharply boost the number of U.S. homes with high-definition televisions to nearly 33 million. In the eyes of a growing number of image-obsessed on-air personalities, that's 33 million clear reasons to be concerned.

Besides spectacular vistas and shockingly real playing fields, hi-def clarity puts any and all wrinkles, pimples and pores on display in well-lit bathroom-mirror detail.

Some TV types say big-screen HDTV could lead to the end of the extreme close-up as we know it. Others predict hi-def fears could soon be reflected in artists' contracts.

So You Like those Re-Cut Movie Trailers?

Rolling Stone has the best of 2006, and they're all here.

Where Are They Now?

YesButNoButYes has the scoop on Poster Girls of the '70s.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Yes, the new year begins in typical fashion. While you were watching Volver (or maybe Pan's Labyrinth) without subtitles and taking notes in Spanish, I was watching Talladega Nights. And, yes, I laughed. Quite a bit, in fact. When it comes to movies, I have no taste and no shame.

I'm not a big Will Farrell fan, and in fact I thought his cameo really brought down The Wedding Crashers. I've never seen Elf. I did like his George Bush impression, though, and I liked parts of Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy. And I liked Talladega Nights, too, in spite of the fact that none of the movie takes place at night. Maybe somebody just liked the title.

I figure about half this movie must have been improvised, but that's fine. Farrell, John C. Riley, and Sacha Baron Cohen are good at that sort of thing. There are no real characters, just caricatures, with Cohen's flamboyantly gay NASCAR driver leading the way. The story is the typical bio-pic arc, with the rise, the fall, and the return to glory, but it's just there to hang some outrageous gags on. I didn't care. I still thought it was funny. Sometime when you're in a goofy mood, check it out.

January Magazine's Best Books of 2006

Feature | Best Books of 2006

Once again, the editors of January Magazine are pleased to bring you our favorite books of the year we're just about to move out of. We've left things quite late again this time. We keep noticing that Best of compilations are getting earlier and earlier each year. After a while, this ceases to make sense. For once thing, if you publish your best of first, it's not possible to have read all the books that you feel should be in contention. So January's Best of list isn't the earliest. At all. In fact, coming as it does very nearly on the final day of the year, it should be the latest. The last word. I like that.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Bond, James Bond

Agité mais pas secoué, la France découvre James Bond - World - Times Online Dozens of distinguished academics are to meet in Paris on a mission to plug a yawning gap in French culture — the study of James Bond.

They will debate such topics as Bond’s influence on the British identity, on capitalism, geopolitics, gastronomy and sexuality. The intellectuals are to attend the three-day conference — organised by the French National Library, the universities of Nanterre and Versailles, and the European Centre for Audiovisual Writing — this month.

The organisers say that they hope to demonstrate that the spy is a legitimate subject for research and that Ian Fleming, his creator, is a notable literary figure. “Despite a few studies, largely Anglo-Saxon, James Bond literature does not seem to have received the scientific attention that it merits,” according to the Centre for Cultural History of Contemporary Societies at Versailles University.

Will the Persecution Never End (1st Paris Hilton Post of 2007!)

PARIS STIFFS 'EM - New York Post Online Edition: Seven
January 1, 2007 -- When you live in the world of Paris Hilton, maybe there really are free lunches. The hotel heiress pulled a brazen dine-and-dash yesterday after nibbling on a hamburger in Australia, according to The Sydney Morning Herald. Hilton also had a mineral water and frappe at Sloanes Café before she took off without paying $8. "She's got bucket loads of money and she didn't pay for her drinks," disgusted waitress Jo Pfahl said. While she couldn't be bothered to pay for lunch, Paris that same afternoon spent $2,200 at nearby Arianne Lingerie for stockings, jewelry, a camisole and bra. Paris has assets of about $30 million, while the Hilton-family empire has been valued at $1 billion, according to some estimates.

Texas Monthly Gets It. I Think.

Texas Monthly January 2007: Book Reviews

MURDER AMONG THE OWLS, the fourteenth offering in BILL CRIDER’s Sheriff Dan Rhodes Mystery series, has no literary conceits; it is nothing more—nor less—than a pleasant police procedural set in the sleepy burg of Clearview. This time out, Rhodes is faced with the apparent slip-and-fall death of seventyish neighbor Helen Harris. Not fooled by the upended stool and burned-out lightbulb, he “somehow [doesn’t] believe” it was an accident at all. The laconic lawman brings his dry wit and down-home sensibilities to bear on his investigation, pondering how Mrs. Harris’s cat, Sam, escaped the deceased woman’s house, interrogating the starchy members of her reading group (Older Women’s Literary Society, the “OWLS” of the title), and thwarting her unruly nephew Leo’s chain saw attack on her grieving beau, Alton Brant. One could fault Crider for the happy sheen he applies to the mystery genre, but that would be to miss the point entirely.

DJ Blast on the Oldies Superhighway

Those of you who remember Lloyd Thaxton (and maybe read his blog) might be interested in the two-part interview with him on DJ Blast's page on the oldies Superhighway. The interview won't be up forever, so check it out soon.

UFO in Chicago?

I suggest that they read my story in the book on the left if they want to know the true story of UFOs.

Chicago Tribune: It sounds like a tired joke--but a group of airline employees insist they are in earnest, and they are upset that neither their bosses nor the government will take them seriously.

A flying saucerlike object hovered low over O'Hare International Airport for several minutes before bolting through thick clouds with such intense energy that it left an eerie hole in overcast skies, said some United Airlines employees who observed the phenomenon.

Was it an alien spaceship? A weather balloon lost in the airspace over the world's second-busiest airport? A top-secret military craft? Or simply a reflection from lights that played a trick on the eyes?

Officials at United professed no knowledge of the Nov. 7 event--which was reported to the airline by as many as a dozen of its own workers--when the Tribune started asking questions recently. But the Federal Aviation Administration said its air traffic control tower at O'Hare did receive a call from a United supervisor asking if controllers had spotted a mysterious elliptical-shaped craft sitting motionless over Concourse C of the United terminal.

Steve Fisher

Woody Haut has an interesting post on Fisher's writing career on his blog today. Check it out.

I Always Suspected This

FBI Considered "It's A Wonderful Life" Communist Propaganda | Wise Bread

In 1947, . . the FBI considered this anti-cosumerist message as subversive Communist propaganda (read original FBI memo).

According to Professor John Noakes of Franklin and Marshall College, the FBI thought Life smeared American values such as wealth and free enterprise while glorifying anti-American values such as the triumph of the common man.

Thanks to Al (Hard Man) Guthrie for the link.

A Little Rockford Files Trivia for the New Year

"MR. MUSIC"

If the name Stuart Margolin, “Day After Day (It's Slippin' Away)” co-writer, rings a bell, it is likely from the years (1974-1979) he endeared himself to viewers of “The Rockford Files.”

For his portrayal of Angel Martin, Jim Rockford's (James Garner) exasperating crony, Margolin won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series — not once but twice, in 1979 and 1980.

He also wrote, directed, or acted in another 150 films, and either won or received a nomination for 11 top industry awards in various categories.

Composing music is another love of Stuart's, and over 100 of his songs have been recorded.

In 1980, as the last episodes of “The Rockford Files” aired, Margolin's first album came out (Warner Bros. K-3439), appropriately titled “And the Angel Sings.”

The 100 Most Annoying Things of 2006

retroCRUSH: The World's Greatest Pop Culture Site

Another year and another list of things that bugged the crap out of us. We've been doing this for six years, and our crack team of annoying specialists have uncovered a virtual bushel and peck of mind bendingly awful items for your annoying pleasure.

He's Ba-a-a-a-a-a-ck

TIME.com: O.J.'s Book: Back by Next Christmas? -- Page 1

O.J. Simpson's ill-fated homicidal fantasy If I Did It may yet see the light of day. One of the major publishing fiascos of 2006, the volume was abruptly pulled by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. right before it was due to land on store shelves in late November, the victim of widespread public outrage. But the title itself, like a bad penny, may resurface, perhaps before the end of 2007.

With the exception of some copies pilfered from warehouses, the entire 400,000 print run of If I Did It — in which Simpson "hypothesized" how he would have killed his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman — was slated to be destroyed. As with most celebrity tell-all tales, however, Simpson's rights to the material will eventually revert back to him. Though the exact contractual language has not been made public, a source close to Simpson tells TIME that O.J. gets certain rights returned 12 months after the original publication date — which means he should be in a position to resell his book before next Christmas.

Several European publishers are said to be clamoring to print the story in their respective territories. Murdoch's high-profile rejection has only made the book more attractive.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

CHUD.com - Cinematic Happenings Under Development

Somewhere out there – possibly reading this very article – are the members of a most exclusive fraternity. These people (I think there may be three of them) may not know each other. They may not know they belong to such a tiny club. But they played a pivotal role in movie history: these people helped the Tom Sizemore and Katherine Heigl-starring movie Zyzzyx Road reach an astonishing 30 dollars at the domestic box office. That’s not a typo. I didn’t mean 30 million dollars. Or 300,000 dollars. Zyzzyx Road, released on February 25th of 2006, was released in one theater, where it played for six days and earned 30 dollars total.

The "one theater" was the Highland Park Village Theater in Dallas, Texas.

It's 2007 . . .

. . . and I find that pretty hard to believe. As my brother once said to me, "What happened to the 'eighties?" You young whippersnappers might still be lucky enough to find that time passes slowly, but you'll find out soon enough that it travels at nearly the speed of light. At any rate, Happy New Year to all. Before you know it, it will be 2008.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine

This is a funny movie about a dysfunctional family that makes mine seem almost normal. It's essentially a road-trip movie that reminded me a lot of National Lampoon's Vacation in certain ways that it's probably best not to discuss; otherwise, I'd spoil some of the fun.

The trip ends not at Wally World but at the Little Miss Sunshine competition, an event as horrifying as anything I've seen in a movie in a long time. How Olive, the young girl in the family, ever got into such a competition in the first place is never explained. Oh, we know she won second prize in a previous competition, and that's not explained, either. I'd kind of like to know, given the way her Little Miss Sunshine bit goes.

A lot's not explained about the family, for that matter. It's more like they were assembled out of central casting and put together for the picture. Not that I cared. Every one of them is great. I especially liked Alan Arkin who talks a lot, and Paul Dano, who talks very little; but Toni Collette as the mother who tries to hold the crazy bunch together is fine, as is Greg Kinnear, the loser father who wants so much to be a winner. Steve Carell as the uncle is super. The real star of the picture, however, is Abigail Breslin, who deserves an Oscar nomination. She's just great.

Some of the scenes go on too long, especially the climactic one, but what the heck. I got a lot of laughs. Check it out.

The Year in Review

Everybody seems to like doing "year in review" posts. So I thought I'd give it a try. Here's a top ten list of random stuff:

1. Book that didn't do anything for me but everybody else loved: The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril by Paul Malmont.

2. Movie I most wanted to see but didn't: The Departed.

3. Topic I avoided entirely this year (well, except for once): Lindsay Lohan's nipples.

4. Favorite new TV series slogan: "Save the cheerleader, save the world."

5. Favorite publishers: Stark House and Hard Case Crime.

6. Best paperback writer news: Stark House will be publishing a brand-new Gil Brewer novel.

7. Year's major disaster here in the office: bookshelf collapse. (Any year when this is the worst that happens is a good year.)

8. Person I did the most posts about: Either Paris Hilton or Anna Nicole Smith. I'm too lazy to count, but it's bound to be one or the other. Or maybe it was a tie.

9. Best acquisition: Nightmare Alibi.

10. My favorite innovation: video blogging. An example can be seen here.

News from The Thrilling Detective

The Thrilling Detective Blog

Right now, the new cover's up, and most of the new stories. Already, I think that, possibly, this is the best and strongest bunch of stories we've ever done. Major kudos to Gerald for that.

We've also got excerpts from two new releases for you to sample. Michael Siverling's THE SORCEROR'S CIRCLE is a good old-fashioned P.I. romp with a few decidedly modern touches, a little bit Rex Stout and a little bit rock'n'roll. And Fred Zackel's COCAINE AND BLUE EYES is simply a classic; a stone-cold slice of seventies private eye fiction that has been criminally out of print for far too long. A tip of the fedora for the boys at Point Blank for bringing this baby in from the cold.

The year-end Thrillies are also up, and the results should be start to be posted in the next few days. As always this is really just a quickie opinion poll on the best and worst of P.I. fiction over the last year, but it's always fun. The wide variety of suggestions we receive from our readers are always intriguing and enlightening. So vote early and vote often.

Et Tu, Dave?

MiamiHerald.com | 12/31/2006 | The year in review: From Pelosi to Pitt, perverts to Paris, Dave Barry offers a last laugh

Also there were many pesky problems left over from 2005 that refused to go away in 2006, including Iraq, immigration, high gas prices, terrorism, global warming, avian flu, Iran, North Korea and Paris Hilton. Future generations are going to look back at this era and ask us how we could have allowed Paris Hilton to happen, and we are not going to have a good answer.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

The tropic of Sir Galahad » PopMatters | Blogs | Marginal Utility

Now, apparently one of the guys from Fountains of Wayne has decided to try to rehabilitate America the way Rick Rubin tried to do for Neil Diamond last year, the way Joe Henry has for Solomon Burke. The Fountains of Wayne guy recruited members of My Morning Jacket, Ryan Adams, Ben Kweller and James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins to help America make a new album.

Will the Persecution Never End?

A Hilton family history.

At home with the Hiltons | The Sunday Mail

LIKE any mother, Kathleen Richards wanted the best for her daughter, Kathy. Where she differed from other mothers was in the way she intended to get it.

She wanted her child to know all about sex and to learn how to perform, literally, so she asked a young man to give her teenage daughter "sex lessons" in his van.

Kathy learned well, and hit the jackpot at the age of 20 when she married Rick Hilton, a scion of the hotel dynasty. Fifteen months after the wedding, in February 1981, Kathy gave birth to Paris Whitney Hilton.

There is a public perception that Paris Hilton is the black sheep of the family. Through the international hotel empire, the Hilton name has become synonymous with class and sophistication. Paris, on the other hand, is the epitome of our shallow, celebrity-obsessed culture; an exhibitionist It Girl, best known for starring in a home-made pornographic video but essentially famous only for being famous.

Happy Birthday, Bo Diddley!

Ellas Bates was born in 1928 and became Bo Diddley not so long afterward. What a career he's had. The 1950s wouldn't have been the same without "Bo Diddley" and "I'm a Man," and he's still going strong fifty years later.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

This time, it's bananas. Yes, there's a plan to place a "Geostationary Banana Over Texas." The project is “an art intervention,” whatever that is. The banana's not actually in place yet, and it won't be until August 2008, assuming the project is actually carried out. The banana should be visible both day and night, all over the state. I'm all a-quiver with anticipation, and I feel sorry for those of you who live in less advanced states and won't have a banana in the sky.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Park Service Can't Give Official Age Of Grand Canyon For Fear Of Offending Creationists... | The Huffington Post

Due to pressure from Bush Administration officials, the National Park Service is not permitted to give an official age for the Grand Canyon. Additionally, a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood is for sale at the National Park's bookstore.

The sale of Grand Canyon: A Different View was scheduled for review over three years ago, but no such review has been scheduled or even requested. The creationist book was the only item approved for sale in 2003 (22 other items were rejected).

The 2006 Darwin Awards

Here they are.

Friday, December 29, 2006

My Favorite Headline of the Day . . .

. . . is right here.

Who Do They Talk to for Surveys like This?

Poll: Bush, Britney Get Thumbs-Down - Entertainment

Rosie O'Donnell is tied with Satan on a list of the biggest villains of 2006. The AP and AOL asked more than 1,000 adults to name the worst villains of the year. Rosie was tied for seventh place with the devil, Oprah, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Colin Farrell. They each received one percent of the vote. President George W. Bush topped the list of biggest villains with 25 percent -- three times the percentage for Osama bin Laden.

In other categories, Oprah was tied with Jesus on a list of the biggest heroes of the year.

Oprah and Jesus received 3 percent of the votes, while Mel Gibson, Angelina Jolie and George Clooney each garnered a percent. Bush topped the list of biggest heroes with 13 percent.

Hellish Holidays Contest!

You've been envious of my videos from Bouchercon and other conventions, right? You've often said to yourself, "Dang. If I had me one of those Pure Digital camcorders, I could make videos like that and put them on YouTube and be famous." Well, now's your chance to get one of those cameras, for free. Check this out:

Hellish Holidays New Years Contest

Tell us about your most hellish New Year’s Eve, whether from the distant past or right about now. Was it a crippling snowstorm, a big fight, a disappointing party or--worst of all--kissing the wrong person at midnight?

You can submit video, a photo with a caption, or a text-only story (250 words maximum). Get creative! We want all the gory details!

The winner receives the fabulous Pure Digital point-and-shoot video camcorder. This will make submitting your hellish videos even easier, with a pop-out USB connector that plugs right into your computer!

Dead Horse -- Walter Satterthwait

Raoul Whitfield is known to many of us as one of the Black Mask boys, author of classics like Green Ice and Death in a Bowl. He was at one time the most highly paid mystery writer in the U.S.

In 1935, however, his writing career was not going well, and his wife died under mysterious circumstances. How mysterious? Well, that's what Dead Horse is all about. Was her death suicide, as it was declared to be, or was it something more sinister? That's the question that Walter Satterthwait tackles in this novel, with his usual panache.

Fine writing, tricky plotting, great characters, meticulous research: those are the things you expect in a Satterthwait novel, and Walter delivers in spades. You don't want to miss this one. Check it out.

3 of the Many Reasons 2006 Sucked, According to the Toronto Star

I confess that I blogged this just because I knew Todd Mason would get a kick out of the first one.

TheStar.com - artsentertainment - Hey 2006, you sucked!

# Crash wins Best Picture at the Academy Awards, giving hope to thousands of film school students who've also written banal diatribes on race relations in the format of Magnolia.

# Zoom, a Tim Allen movie rated 0% on Rottentomatoes.com and the second-worst movie of all time on the Internet Movie Database, behind only Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, gives us one more reason to stay away from the multiplex.

# S.O.A.P. suds: Snakes on a Plane disappoints at the box office. Those motherf--ing computer geeks with their motherf--king homemade trailers and mash-ups and brilliant ideas don't go to motherf--king movie theatres.

Your Tax Dollars at Work (on a Pretty Cool Project)

Air Force pursuing antimatter weapons / Program was touted publicly, then came official gag order

The U.S. Air Force is quietly spending millions of dollars investigating ways to use a radical power source -- antimatter, the eerie "mirror" of ordinary matter -- in future weapons.

The most powerful potential energy source presently thought to be available to humanity, antimatter is a term normally heard in science-fiction films and TV shows, whose heroes fly "antimatter-powered spaceships" and do battle with "antimatter guns."

But antimatter itself isn't fiction; it actually exists and has been intensively studied by physicists since the 1930s. In a sense, matter and antimatter are the yin and yang of reality: Every type of subatomic particle has its antimatter counterpart. But when matter and antimatter collide, they annihilate each other in an immense burst of energy.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Augustus Mandrell vs. Modesty Blaise

Read all about it here.

The Sun Never Sets on the Texas Empire

My niece, who's living in Australia and New Zealand for a year, took this photo in a Melbourne shop the other day.

Crime and Suspense

The January issue of Crime and Suspense is on-line a little early. Check it out.

Yet Another Way to Kill Time

cityrag: 50 Greatest Cartoons

Found a cool list of The 50 Greatest Cartoons as voted on by the animation industry in 1994. As a holiday present to our readers we've put together a link to an online video for each one below! (we found a video for all but 6.) Many wonderful, funny, trippy and cartoons spanning the decades (and some that were banned.)

Will the Persecution Never End?

Britney is animal, says Hilton : HTTabloid.com

Once considered as the inseperable partying buddies, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, are now separating after squeezing out the last bit of publicity from their brief friendship.

The hotel heiress now refers to her former party-pal as 'The Animal', reports Tittletattle.com.

According to US Weekly, things became sour after "Britney called Paris and said she had decided not to be seen in public with her 'for now'." She however added "that it's not personal".

There's a New Blog on the Block . . .

From Steve Lewis, proprietor of Mystery*File:

. . . and here's the first post: http://mysteryfile.com/blog/ I'm still
tinkering with the format -- there are a lot of things I imagine I can do,
but I have no idea what many of them might even be! Later this morning
I'll try adding some images to this post. If they're not there yet, either
you're too early, or I'm still trying...

This is definitely one to add to your bookmarks.

No Wonder that Mac Guy's So Happy

Report: Apple executives faked stock-option documents | CNET News.com

Apple Computer's stock took a hit early Wednesday after a report that company executives had made up details on stock-option administration documents to guarantee profits for certain executives.

Shares of Apple stock were down $3.55, or 4.36 percent, to $77.96 in early morning trading on the Nasdaq stock market following the report on Law.com. Apple is one of many companies--including CNET Networks, publisher of CNET News.com--embroiled in government investigations into the practice of stock-option backdating, in which companies would assign favorable grant dates to stock options in order to ensure hefty profits for executives.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Place Your Bets

SCI FI Wire | The News Service of the SCI FI Channel

A British bookmaker is taking bets on whether boy wizard Harry Potter will die in the upcoming book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, as well as who the murderer might be, according to The New York Times. Speculation that the lead character in J.K. Rowling's popular book series might die has been rampant since the title of the seventh and final book was announced.

In London yesterday, Rupert Adams, a spokesman for the bookmaker, William Hill, said that "J. K. mentioned that Harry might be killed off." Adams added that the evil wizard Voldemort is the odds-on favorite to be the killer, with odds at 4 to 5. Other popular candidates include Harry's best friend Ron Weasley, his nemesis Draco Malfoy and Harry himself, all at 6 to 1 odds. The bookmaker is also accepting bets on whether Ron will marry fellow student Hermione Granger; whether the two will have a child named Harry; and whether Ron will kill Draco in a duel.

Tilt A Whirl -- Chris Grabenstein

Tilt A Whirl was Chris Grabenstein's first novel, but he's published several since. The ones in this series are named for carnival attractions, which might be good. Or it might not if he runs out of names. Anyway, this is a fine debut mystery.

John Ceepak is a former MP who's recently returned from Iraq. An old Army buddy is Chief of Police in Sea Haven, NJ, a small resort town, and he's given Ceepak a job. Partnered with Ceepak is the narrator of the novel, Danny Boyle. In their first case they're faced with the murder of a man who's shot on the tilt-a-whirl right beside his young daughter. There's some solid procedural material that seems to point to a suspect, but not everything's as it seems. Ceepak and Boyle have to separate the truth from the lies, the false clues from the reality.

Ceepak is an experienced lawman, and he lives by a Code. Boyle is in his early 20s, a little naive, and has no code. It's sort of as if Spenser had an apprentice, but it's not really like that at all.

The book is a mixture light-hearted humor and wisecracks with some very dark material. It takes a lot of skill to bring something like that off, and Grabenstein's up to the job. Check it out, along with Grabenstein's other books in this series. You won't be disappointed.

The USPS Works in Mysterious Ways

Yesterday I got a Christmas card addressed to someone who lives on 1606 Smith Level Road. Since my address is 1606 South Hill Street, you might thing the mistake was a logical one, except that I'm in Texas, and the card should have gone to North Carolina.

The card, by the way, was mailed from 1607 Smith Level Road, right next door to the place it should have been delivered.

People's Top 5 Celeb Feuds 2006

Year-End Countdown 2006 : People.com

4. LINDSAY VS. PARIS
If Paris and Nicole could make peace, isn't there hope for Lohan and Hilton? A guy -- Paris's on-again beau Stavros Niarchos, with whom Lohan reportedly had a fling -- was reportedly at the root of the ladies' beef. But Lindsay and Paris run hot and cold: On Nov. 27, a day after the two had yet another row, they hit L.A. hot spot Guy's with Britney Spears, and they've been spotted together since.

3. SHANNA VS. PARIS
The claws came out when the Dancing with the Stars star and the hotel heiress exchanged words -- and, reportedly, blows -- on Oct. 4 at L.A.'s Hyde Lounge. The catalyst for it all? Hilton had been spotted smooching with Moakler's ex, rocker Travis Barker, at various hot spots. Don't mess with my man!

Not a Jot or a Tittle

mediabistro.com: TVNewser

Nowadays, when news anchors make a mistake, they know it'll be preserved electronically forever. During the 9am hour of Fox News Live, when David Asman added "tit" to the word title, he was immediately aware of this fact:

"She lost her tittle thanks to a few -- her title, her title. Jesus, oh God. Oh, the internet, what they're going to do with this one! Oh God! Wellll... the former Miss Nevada could take Donald Trump to court..."

Asman was laughing so much, he barely finished the tease. At least he pronounced "tiara" correctly...

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Alien Payback

Todd Mason sends this link but doesn't vouch for the veracity of the blogger.

Alien Payback

Greetings to everyone on the internet. My name is Otis Elwood and I'm a 31 year old guy from Argus, Florida. I'm a plumber for a living and I live here with Mama and my dog Tyco. Pretty simple life. If you're looking from the outside.

When I was 16 I was abducted by aliens on a nearby farm, called Nixon's Farm, that me and my buddies used to hang around at.

A Crider Christmas

Allen in a Santa hat.

Me, Judy's mom, Angela

Felix takes it easy.

It's Probably Just Me

What is it with Deal or No Deal? My wife and her mother watched a two-hour version of this show last night. I think that if someone tied me in a chair and made me watch two hours of it, I'd be stark raving mad before it ended. Most likely I'd be stark raving mad within the first fifteen minutes.

What's remotely interesting about a show where some people who seem to be about one step away from a 12-step program jump around and yell about suitcases? There's no skill involved. There's no intelligence involved. It's just picking suitcases. So one of the cases has a lot of money in it. So what? Who cares if any of those people win any money or don't win any money. This has got to be the worst show ever and a sure sign of the apocalypse.

Or maybe it's just me.

Frank McAuliffe Update

Peter Rozovsky has a comment on the second Augustus Mandrell book (Rather a Viscious Gentleman), here.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I'll Bet He Can't Even Pronounce Mexia

Tod Goldberg is no doubt a fine fellow. After all, he's Lee's brother. How bad can he be? He often writes blog entries attacking the people who write letters to Parade, and I laugh at the entries as I'm supposed to. But this time he's gone too far. Yes, folks, he's attacked someone from Mexia, Texas, my hometown. I don't know D. Hall, but since he (or she) is my homeboy (or homegirl), I feel I have to speak out in support of him. (Or her.) While it's fine for Tod to be critical of others, he should lay off people from Mexia. We native Mexiaites are very sensitive about that kind of thing.

I See It, but I Don't Believe It

Fastest Hands in the world :: Amazing

Well this girl certainly has fastest hands in the world. She managed to flip-flop all those cups in 7.63 seconds. That is absolutely amazing. Fastest hands in the world for sure!

She Felt Finely, Instead

wcbstv.com - Laura Bush: I Never Felt Bad

(CBS News) WASHINGTON First lady Laura Bush suffered no ill effects from the cancerous growth on her leg and that is why it was never revealed to the public, she told CBS News chief Washington correspondent Bob Schieffer in an exclusive interview.

"I never felt badly," Mrs. Bush said in an excerpt of the interview (video) shown on CBS News' The Early Show.

Once Again Texas Leads the Way

$1-a-pack cigarette tax hike a few days away | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

AUSTIN — Texas smokers will pay significantly more for cigarettes starting Jan. 1 when the excise tax increases by $1 a pack in a move that health experts hope will discourage folks, especially teens, from lighting up.

The state tax increase — from 41 cents to $1.41 per pack — also will help pay for school property tax cuts.

James Brown, R. I. P.

Sad news of Christmas day.

ABC News: Legendary Singer James Brown Dies at 73

ATLANTA Dec 25, 2006 (AP)— James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured "Godfather of Soul," whose rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap, funk and disco as well, died early Monday, his agent said. He was 73.

Brown was hospitalized with pneumonia at Emory Crawford Long Hospital on Sunday and died around 1:45 a.m. Monday, said his agent, Frank Copsidas of Intrigue Music.

Longtime friend Charles Bobbit was by his side, he said.

Copsidas said the cause of death was uncertain. "We really don't know at this point what he died of," he said.

I Hope Santa Was Kind to All of You

Thanks to Todd Mason for these covers.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

'Dillos on the March

Jeff Meyerson, who sent this link, lives in Brooklyn, where the 'dillos haven't shown up. Yet.

'Little Armored Thing' Invades Midwest - AOL News

Armadillos Nudge Their Way Toward Northern U.S. Climes
By JIM SUHR, AP

MURPHYSBORO, Ill. (Dec. 24) - For years, Lloyd Nelson laughed off as myth reports that armadillos - those armored, football-sized critters with the big claws and bigger nose - had waddled their way into southern Illinois, the same place folks say they've seen cougars.

Folks weren't fibbing about the mountain lions. Nelson knows now they weren't joshing about armadillos, either.

Since his run-in with an armadillo that was turning a woman's flower bed into a crater near here three years ago, the Jackson County animal-control chief says he's logged in this county alone 13 sightings of the stubby-legged kin to sloths and anteaters. Most were dead as doornails along roads - the leathery animals with poor vision are no match against highway traffic.

"We've had armadillos killed on the road just about every year" since 2003, says Nelson, reflecting what wildlife specialists say is ample evidence that the creatures with the pencil-thin tail are nudging their way northward from their southern U.S. climes.

"We've got them in Nebraska; that's as far north as we have any records," said Lynn Robbins, a biology professor at Missouri State University. "They're adapting, filling in so many places."

'Tis the Season to be Criminal

ABC News: Christmas Brings Strange Seasonal Crimes

NEW YORK Dec 24, 2006 (AP)— There's nobody nice on this Christmas list: snowman stabbers, Grinch snatchers, wreath-robbing weasels. 'Tis the season for strange crimes by even stranger people, with police blotters expanding faster than a 6-year-old's wish list of gifts.

Christmas Stars -- David G. Hartwell, Ed.

Thanks to George Kelley I have a copy of this collection of stories (copyright 1992, which was before the Osama-loving-commie-pinko lefties started conspiring to eliminate titles like this one). Looking through the ToC, I noticed that one of the stories was by Henry Melton. It's "The Christmas Count," and naturally I turned to it first. Here's the "what if": What if you lived on an orbital world sometime in the future? What would Christmas be like there? Would it be different from the way it is now, or would it be very much the same? Melton's answer is for you to find out. All I'll say is that the story's both furturistic and traditionally satisfying. Check it out.

Dead Geezer Rules Ringtone Charts

Perry Como the top choice for ringtones - Yahoo! News

LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Perry Como has grabbed the top two spots on Billboard's ringtones chart with "Jingle Bells" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," 61 years after the crooner first enjoyed a Billboard chart-topper.

Como collected his first No. 1 single on a Billboard chart when "Till the End of Time" moved into pole position in September 1945. The song ruled the chart for 10 weeks.

His version of "Jingle Bells" first appeared on his 1946 album, "Merry Christmas Music," which was his first No. 1 LP.

Como, who made his singles chart debut in October 1943 with the No. 20 hit "Goodbye, Sue," died in 2001, long before there was a ringtones chart.

Ten Best Albums of 2006?

The surprising thing is that I've actually listened to (and enjoyed) three of these. That hasn't been the case for years.

CLASSICS ROCK: THE BEST ALBUMS OF 2006 By DAN AQUILANTE - New York Post Online Edition: Seven

RECORDS are dead and the iPod is king, but old-fashioned, full-length albums are still going strong. Americans bought more than 456 million CDs this year, even as digital music services such as iTunes racked up 480 million single-track sales.

But digital competition has upped the ante for quality music. Savvy artists - from newcomers like England's Arctic Monkeys to vets like Pearl Jam - understood they couldn't afford to pad their albums with filler when the public can download the best and leave the rest.

Fittingly, the year's most notable releases came from established artists - some as fresh as Christina Aguilera, others as wizened as Bob Dylan - who reminded us why they count with sterling, rather than platinum, albums.

Wrap Rage -- Feel the Burn

American News | 12/23/2006 | Holiday packaging could inspire 'wrap rage'

MINNEAPOLIS - The wrapping paper is in piles. The ribbons are in shreds. Now it's time to get out the heavy artillery: scissors, box cutters, screwdrivers, ice picks, sheet-metal shears, and perhaps a hacksaw or two for good measure.

Freeing the toys, electronics and other gifts of the holiday season from their bulletproof packaging can require the strength of Superman and patience of Job.

"You have to run around the house, find scissors, cut it open, then you hurt your fingers trying to pull it apart, then there's these twisty things you have to untwist, plus the batteries," said Cynthia Salone, 8, of Minneapolis, recalling a recent packaging battle. "It can take 10 minutes to open."

The Brits have given this phenomenon a name and a definition: wrap rage. Extreme anger caused by product packaging that is difficult to open or manipulate.

"It's very, very, very frustrating," said Ann Hunsaid, 76, a retired teacher from Minot, N.D. "Especially for someone like me who is used to simple packaging. I do not follow this new kind of thing."