Paris Hilton, Hero! (Part 2)

Hilton helping protect the environment - Yahoo! News: "BERLIN - Paris Hilton is making a personal contribution to protecting the environment.

'I changed all the light bulbs to energy-safe light bulbs and I'm buying a hybrid car right now,' the 26-year-old celebrity heiress said Wednesday.

Hilton said she turns off the lights, doesn't leave the TV on or the water running when she leaves her house."

I Got Your Next Novel Plot Right Here

You write the book. I'll take a modest 10% finder's fee. The Da Vinci Code is small potatoes compared to this. Trust me.

Ike Turner, R. I. P.

The Associated Press: Musician Ike Turner Dies at 76: "SAN DIEGO (AP) — Ike Turner, whose role as one of rock's critical architects was overshadowed by his ogrelike image as the man who brutally abused former wife and icon Tina Turner, died Wednesday at his home in suburban San Diego. He was 76.

'He did pass away this morning' at his home in San Marcos, in northern San Diego County, said Scott M. Hanover of Thrill Entertainment Group, which managed Turner's musical career."

This video (recommended by Walter Satterthwait) is long, and Ike's a bit player, but it's well worth watching.

Judy Update

There hasn't been one of these updates in a while because there hasn't been much to report. Judy's been doing chemo and getting tested, blah, blah, blah. But I'd hoped for some good news today. We went to see Judy's doctor, in high hopes that he'd say the chemo was finished and that all was well. It didn't work out quite that way.

There is, as they say, good news and bad news.

The good news is very good. The doctor says that Judy is in "complete remission."

The bad news is that he wants her to take two more rounds of chemo as "insurance." He says that it's not even a close call. She really needs to do it. The next treatment will be on Monday. This knocks a good bit of the shine off our Christmas season, as Judy will still be feeling pretty rotten on the 25th. The usual festivities will have to be cut back, but we'll still do what we can to celebrate the holiday.

Thanks as usual for all your prayers, good thoughts, and encouragement. We believed we were at the top of the hill, but there's still a little more climbing to be done before we get there. We will get there, though. I'm sure of that. Meanwhile, we'll try to dwell on the good news.

Happy Birthday, Connie Francis!

Here's a link to a previous post with some nice photos. No need to repeat the info, since you can read it there.

Terry Pratchett Update

Terry Pratchett has announced that he has a very rare form of early onset Alzheimer's disease. This is sad news. I was on a panel with Pratchett at an AggieCon several years ago and found him friendly, engaging, smart, and funny. Like his books. I wish him only the best.

Link via Boing Boing.

Cannibal Update

Link to original story is here.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Mexican 'cannibal' kills himself: "A Mexican man accused of murdering his girlfriend and eating her body parts has been found dead in his prison cell.

Jose Luis Calva was found hanging by his belt in the jail in Mexico City after apparently committing suicide, the department of corrections said.

Mr Calva was arrested on 8 October by police investigating the disappearance of his girlfriend, Alejandra Galeana.

In his flat in the capital, they found her dismembered body and a draft of an unfinished novel, Cannibal Instincts."

Dino Update

ABC News: Fossils of ancient tank-like mammal found in Andes: "WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Scientists searching for fossils high in the Andes mountains in Chile have unearthed the remains of a tank-like mammal related to armadillos that grazed 18 million years ago.

'It looks different than almost anything out on the landscape today. There really isn't anything that's comparable today in terms of its body form,' John Flynn of the American Museum of Natural History in New York, one of the scientists, said in a telephone interview.

The creature, Parapropalaehoplophorus septentrionalis, was a primitive relative of a line of heavily armored mammals that culminated in the massive, impregnable Gyptodon, a two-ton, 10-foot(3-meter)-long beast covered in armored plates and a spiky tail."

McToy

Photo of toy at link.

mikemcguff.com blog: Does this toy offend you?: "Someone told me this McDonald's Happy Meal toy from the Shrek The Third movie is offending certain folks. Or at least has them laughing."

Time's Top Tens

Time Magazine has all its Top Ten lists on-line. I've looked only at the movie lists by the Richards (I refuse to use nicknames), Corliss and Schickel. I like both lists because while I've seen hardly any of the movies on either one, Black Book makes one list and Beowulf makes the other. Whenever a list includes a movie I liked, I figure that list is legit.

Paris Hilton, Hero!

Maybe the persecution will end at last. Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for this inspiring link.

Why they now look up to Paris: "Paris Hilton is being hailed as a hero after 'rescuing' a little person injured as part of an Oompa Loompa act during Art Basel Miami Beach Saturday night.

The shocking accident happened during a Beacher's Madhouse performance, sponsored by Ariva, at Cameo nightclub."

A List I'm On

I have no idea what PopFart.com is, but I'm suddenly in the top 20. I could never have accomplished this without the help of all the little people I stepped on as I clawed my way to the top. Okay, to near the top.

POPFART.COM

Both Barrels Blazing

Great title, right? It has nothing at all to do with the movie, not that there's anything wrong with that. Once again, Charles Starrett plays the Durango Kid, but this time he's also a Texas Ranger named Kip Allen. Three movies, three names. Maybe the Durango Kid is who he really is and the other characters are the disguises.

Anyway, this time the Kid isn't out to avenge the death of his father. He's out to get the train robber mentioned at the end of The Return of the Durango Kid. Except that's not all. The robber is offed pretty quickly, and then the Kid has to take care of the saloon owner (who looks exactly like the saloon owners in the two previous movies), who's now in possession of the gold that the train robber had.

Then there's a classic twist, where a poor prospector named Grubstake, who's been supporting his daughter's family by begging, since he can't find gold, is getting a visit from his granddaughter. Grubstake asks the saloon owner to help him out, and anyone who's see the dozens of variations on this plot on The Andy Griffith Show knows what comes next. Everyone in town's going to pretend that Grubstake is a wealthy man about town. (This has something to do with the gold, trust me.)

The Jesters are back, and so is Tex Harding as the singing sidekick. Dub Taylor is along for the alleged comedy relief, and Pat Parrish looks good as the granddaughter. All is resolved at the end, after a lot of killing, and Tex gets the girl. Even though they're going to be married, never fear. Tex will turn up again as the sidekick in the next movie. And there will be another one, because once again Starrett announces that there's trouble somewhere or other and that the Durango Kid will be needed. Which is interesting since he's supposed to be a Texas Ranger, and he's supposed to be returning the gold to Texas.

As with the other Durango Kid movies I've seen, lots of stuff makes no sense at all. For example, there's an attempted bank robbery. Nobody even knows the Durango Kid is in town, and there's no way he could know about the robbery. Neverthelss, when the baddies open the bank door, he's standing right there waiting for them.

But who cares about stuff like that? What we want to see is some ridin' and shootin', and there's plenty of that. I don't have any more Durango Kid movies recorded, which is probably just as well, but it was fun to revisit my kidhood for a few hours with these.

You Gotta Love a Story that Involves a Secret Passage

Secret passage in next door hideaway used to see wife - Times Online: "Back-from-the-dead canoeist John Darwin hid from the world for years in a bedsit located next door to his family home, sneaking through a secret passageway to see his wife, it was revealed last night.

Anne Darwin said that for much of the five years he was presumed dead, her husband was in fact living at their home in Hartlepool and sharing her bed."

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year

Merriam-Webster's word of '07: 'w00t' | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Expect cheers among hardcore online game enthusiasts when they learn Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year. Or, more accurately, expect them to 'w00t.'

'W00t,' a hybrid of letters and numbers used by gamers as an exclamation of happiness, topped all other terms in the Springfield dictionary publisher's online poll for the word that best sums up 2007.

Merriam-Webster's president, John Morse, said 'w00t' was an ideal choice because it blends whimsy and new technology."

Another List I'm Not On

But Paris Hilton is #4!

Bestseller Again

Locus Bestsellers

HARDCOVERS Months on list Last month 1) Spook Country, William Gibson (Putnam) 2 2 2) The Sunrise Lands, S. M. Stirling (Roc) 1 - 3) Sandworms of Dune, Brian Herbert & Kevin J. Anderson (Tor) 2 1 4) The Elves of Cintra, Terry Brooks (Ballantine Del Rey) 2 5 5) Making Money, Terry Pratchett (HarperCollins/Harper) 1 - 6) Little (Grrl) Lost, Charles de Lint (Viking) 1 - 7) Axis, Robert Charles Wilson (Tor) 1 - *) The Children of Húrin, J. R. R. Tolkien (Houghton Mifflin) 6 4 9) Natural Ordermage, L. E. Modesitt, Jr. (Tor) 1 - 10) Many Bloody Returns, Charlaine Harris & Toni L. P. Kelner, eds. (Ace) 1

Rocketman

Demo video at the link.

Personal flying jet packs on the way | NEWS.com.au: "FUTURISTIC jet packs could be sold to the masses as early as next year, with a company already taking orders for 'personal flying machines'.

Jet Pack International in the US is planning to release a $226,060 jet pack next year which could travel 16km without refuelling, the Fortune Small Business magazine reported."

Dino Update

National Geographic News: "A spectacular dinosaur 'graveyard' containing thousands of fossils has been discovered in eastern Spain, scientists say.

Eight different dinosaur species, including several kinds of armor-clad plant-eaters that were among the world's largest types of dino, have been identified among the 8,000 fossils found to date, according to experts excavating the site.

Uncovered last June during the construction of a high-speed rail link near the city of Cuenca (see map), the fossil boneyard may represent the largest and most diverse dinosaur site known in Europe, scientists say."

Ill Wind -- Rachel Caine

Everybody talks about the weather, and some people do something about it. Who? The weather wardens, that's who. They don't have total control, of course, but they do what they can to keep natural disasters from destroying the world.

I'd been meaning to start this series for several years, since I've enjoyed being on panels with Rachel Caine (or Roxanne Longstreet Conrad, if you prefer) at a lot of conventions. I'm glad I finally got to it. I was reminded a bit of the kind of novellas that used to appear in Imaginative Tales back when I was a youth, strong science fantasy, with plenty of action and characters you care about.

Joanne Baldwin is a weather warden, and she's in a heap of trouble. Just how much, the reader learns about only gradually, but even at the beginning she's fleeing from a murder rap. Things just get worse as she crosses the country from New Jersey to Oklahoma, where the wind (and plenty of other weather disasters) comes sweeping down the plain. You've got mystery, Djinn, and weather galore, not to mention plenty of surprises along the way.

Rachel Caine (or Roxanne) is challenging James Reasoner as Texas' most prolific writer, and if you'd like to try her work, this is a great place to start.

Will the Persecution Never End?

This is the worst yet.

Thanks (I suppose) to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

The Return of the Durango Kid

Okay, the plot of The Durango Kid had Charles Starrett playing Bill Lowry, who returns to the old homeplace to avenge the death of his father. The plot of The Return of the Durango Kid has Charles Starrett as Bill Blaydon, who's out to avenge the death of his father. Hey, nobody ever said originality was the strong point of the B-Western.

And besides, there are some changes besides the Kid's name. The Sons of the Pioneers have been replaced by the Jesters, who aren't bad, to tell the truth. The villain isn't the same guy, but he looks like the same guy, with the same moustache. He's slick with a derringer, though, and the other one wasn't. Tex Harding is introduced as a sort of non-comic singing sidekick. Tex was Dorothy Dix's brother. That's for you codgers who are old enough to remember Dorothy Dix. And for the same crowd, one very minor bit player in the movie is Elmo Lincoln. One or two of you will know who that is.

The movie rambles a long without much pretense at making sense, but the plot is sort of a Yojimbo deal (or maybe a Red Harvest deal), as Starrett plays off the members of the gang against each other until all but one is jailed or dead. Starrett makes almost no attempt to conceal the fact that he's the Durango Kid, and in fact the disguise plays no sensible part in the movie. Starrett could have done everything without it. But he looks good in black. And speaking of looking good, Jean Stevens does, too.

At the end of the movie, the Kid rides off into the (metaphorical) sunset after saying that Dan Cass, the Texas train robber, has escaped from prison, and something has to be done about him. So we can rest assured that the Kid will return.

1500 Sexy Album Covers

What can I say? Not safe for work? Okay, I've said it. But these albums were sold in record stores all over the country. Bonus: Joey Heatherton.

Thanks to Steve Stilwell for the link.

Mobbed Up

FBI Backing Plan for Vegas Mob Museum: "LAS VEGAS (AP) - Las Vegas is building a museum about some of its founding fathers and most influential figures—guys with names like Bugsy, Lefty and Lansky.

The mob museum will stand as frank acknowledgment of the major role mobsters played in developing Las Vegas into the gambling capital of America and giving the city its rakish glamour during the 1940s and '50s.

'Let's be brutally honest, warts and all. This is more than legend. It's fact,' said Mayor Oscar Goodman, a former defense attorney whose clients once included mobsters Meyer Lansky and Anthony 'Tony the Ant' Spilotro. 'This is something that differentiates us from other cities.'

The project has gained the support of the FBI and is guided by a retired FBI agent."

No Wonder Jeff Meyerson Loves NY

Subway pole dancers enrage MTA: "The N train may need to be changed to the NC-17 and the L could be dubbed the lap dance express.

That's because commuters on the lines got their two bucks worth - and then some - when four leggy New Yorkers set out to turn the subway cars into strip-club Champagne lounges.

On a dare from a Web site promising $10,000 for the best pole dancing in public, the quartet took a ride on the wild side and their winning video has become a rage on the Internet."

Will the Persecution Never End?

And where's the photographic proof?

Paris Hilton Left Standing Naked At Fashion Show Says Miranda Kerr - Tittle-Tattle Too™: The Post Chronicle: "Miranda Kerr, the Australian supermodel who was discovered by Dolly magazine in 1997 and is well known for campaigns with Maybelline and Victoria's Secret, recently revealed just how much of a spoiled brat Paris Hilton can be after dishing on a incident at the Victoria's Secret fashion show.

Miranda Kerr speaks candidly to Sassybella blog about the incident, which would eventually see Paris naked and humiliated."

A Preview of Coming Attractions

From Publishers Weekly:

Of All Sad Words: A Sheriff Dan Rhodes Mystery
Bill Crider. St. Martin's Minotaur/Dunne, $23.95 (272p) ISBN 978-0-312-34810-6

Crider's winning 15th Sheriff Dan Rhodes mystery (after 2007's Murder Among the OWLS) pits the wry Texan against a local drug ring. Skeptical when Clearview, Tex., newcomer C.P. Benton complains that his neighbors, the Crawford brothers, are cooking meth, Rhodes finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation when the Crawford trailer explodes, leaving one of the brothers dead. But instead of finding evidence of meth, Rhodes stumbles on a still with a fresh batch of old-fashioned hooch. The remaining Crawford brother plays dumb, blaming his sibling for the illegal operation, but Rhodes doesn't buy the act. The discovery of a second still complicates matters, and Rhodes must ignore his bickering deputies and a whiny county commissioner to get to the bottom of Clearview's crime wave. Crider expertly evokes this small Texas town and its eccentric cast of characters, and his dry humor will satisfy longtime fans of this popular series. (Feb.)

Pulp Nation

An article by Steve Almond from the Boston Globe. Bonus: It includes a gratuitous bit of Paris Hilton persecution.

Thanks to Ted Fitzgerald for the link.

Will the Persecution Never End?

It's not enough to attack Paris. Now they're going after her parents.

Paris Hilton's Parents Partied Like It Was 1977 At Studio 54 | December 9, 2007 | AHN: "New York, NY (CNS) - Paris Hilton's parents allegedly once snorted cocaine off a floor with The Village People's cowboy Randy Jones.

The ''Y.M.C.A.' singer claims he shared a table with hotel moguls Rick and Kathy Hilton at New York's famous Studio 54 club in 1977, where they indulged in some recreational drug taking."

There's Still Time, Brother

So bid now!

The Bunburyist Keeps Doing Research for Us

The Bunburyist: "The University of Virginia has an interesting online exhibit on bestsellers, 'Rave Reviews: Bestselling Fiction in America.' Authors and works featured include Mickey Spillane's I the Jury, Kathleen Winsor's Forever Amber (dubbed 'Trollop with a Wallop' by Bennett Cerf), Frank Yerby's The Foxes of Harrow, Frederick Forsyth's The Odessa File, and nineteenth-century author E.D.E.N. Southworth (fictionalized in Joanne Dobson's The Northbury Papers)."

Out of the Gutter #3

It's hard not to compare Out of the Gutter with Murdaland. Both started up at about the same time, and both offer an alternative to the other print outlets for short mystery fiction. Murdaland is slicker and more "literary," but it nevertheless offers cutting edge stories that might have trouble finding a home elsewhere. Gutter flaunts its in-your-face attitude. If anything, it seems to take an anti-literary stance, not that there's anything wrong with that. I enjoy reading both of them, and I'm wish them both long life and success.

The theme of the latest Gutter is "War is Hell," with the term war being fairly broadly defined. For example, Pearce Hansen's "Good to be a Man" would probably fall into the "man's war with nature" category. Good story, though, and there's an interview with Hansen that's well worth reading.

Dave Zeltserman's "Adrenaline" should get you cranked, but it's certainly not for the faint of heart. It's a man vs. man story, but it has its origins in war, as does J. D. Rhoades' "So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed." It's not for the faint of heart, either, but then I didn't read a single story that was. Don't say I didn't warn you.

In case you're wondering about some of the cover stories, the midgets with AKs appear in "The Bitch Pit." I haven't gotten to the chicks with chainsaws yet.

There's nonfiction, too, from 9/11 conspiracy theory to gun control, and there are lots of flash stories. Even poetry. Ror the stout of heart and strong of stomach, Out of the Gutter #3 is full of the kind of stuff you're looking for. Check it out.

[Sort of an aside: I have to argue with the squib at the bottom of page 35, though. It says that "The last surviving Civil War veteran, Judge Thomas E. Webster, actually died in 1940 . . . ." I guess the facts are in dispute, but in 1959 I attended the funeral of Walter Williams, who was supposedly the last Civil War vet. The Franklin, Texas, homepage mentions that his grave is in the community cemetery there. I once wrote a short essay about the funeral for the ACWL BULLETin.]

No Word on Whether the Shoes were Blue Suede

Texan kills man who stepped on shoes, gets life | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "BEAUMONT — A jury has sentenced a Port Arthur man to life in prison for fatally shooting a clubgoer who had accidentally stepped on his shoes.

Richard Trahan, 30, was convicted of killing 39-year-old Todd Hall outside a Port Arthur nightclub in May 2005.

A jury in nearby Beaumont deliberated less than two hours before sentencing Trahan on Friday.

Witnesses said Trahan became angry when Hall stepped on his shoes inside the club as Hall was moving back from the bar after ordering drinks."

Database of Bestsellers

Beth Foxwell has found a great resource if you're interest in what people have been reading for the past 100 years or so.

The Bunburyist: "I stumbled on a fascinating online resource from a 2006 class taught by John Unsworth, dean of the Graduate School of Library and Information Science at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. It's a database of twentieth-century U.S. bestsellers, organized by author, with entries by his students. The entries include physical descriptions of the particular work, publication history, analysis of sales (if information is available), and quotes from reviews."

Peru Update

Woody Harrelson, Owen Wilson rough it in Peru - USATODAY.com: "LIMA, Peru (AP) — A cheap hotel and a bath in an irrigation ditch — not the usual travel arrangements for Hollywood celebrities.

But Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson were apparently out to show the locals in Peru that they aren't your average high-maintenance movie stars.

Local celebrity gossip program Magaly TeVe aired video Wednesday night of the two actors deep in Peru's Andes bathing in an irrigation ditch wearing nothing but their boxer shorts. It showed the pair pouring handfuls of water over themselves under the highland sun."

Update: Walter Satterthwait provides this video link.

Archaeological Update #2

Dining, Roman-style, as London dig finds history by the bucketful - Times Online: "Wine buckets, bowls and dishes with an elegant beaded design are among a spectacular Roman hoard of international importance that has been discovered in London.

Archaeologists have unearthed more than 1,100 objects dating from the first to third centuries AD that they described yesterday as unprecedented in size and scale.

The finds, which will give dramatic new insight into Londinium, the Roman city, include the most complete timber door to have survived anywhere in the Roman Empire, as well as shiny metal vessels in an exceptional state of preservation and the large-scale remains of an entire Roman streetscape."

Archaeological Update #1

Roman repairs last the distance - World - theage.com.au: "Archaeologists in Germany say they have found a 2000-year-old glue that Roman warriors used to repair helmets, shields and other accessories of battle.

'Caesar's Superglue' — as it has been dubbed by the co-workers of the Rhine State Museum in Bonn — was found on a helmet at a site near Xanthen on the Rhine River where Romans settled before Christ.

'We found that the parade cavalry helmet had been repaired with an adhesive that was still doing its job,' said restorer Frank Willer."

The Best News Yet from Stark House

At least from my point of view. I have copies of all three of these, but my copy of Mink is in French, so I've never been able to read it.

Hello Mystery Fans:

I just want to announce that Stark House Press has just signed a contract with Harry Whittington's Estate and will be bringing back three rare short novels by Whittington in one edition next November 2008.

The novels are:

To Find Cora -- originally published as Cora is a Nympho by Novel Books in 1963 -- To Find Cora is Harry's original title, and much truer to the story.

Like Mink Like Murder -- originally published only in French in 1957 as Mink, then rewritten later by Harry as Passion Hangover for one of the sex lines and published under a pseudonym -- again, Like Mink Like Murder is Harry's title.

Body and Passion -- originally published by Original Novels in 1952 under the Whit Harrison pseudonym -- a strange story of switched identities that will keep you guessing until the end.

Three hard-to-find books in one volume, with a new introduction by Whittington specialist, David Laurence Wilson. Three compelling stories from one of the noir masters. Three novels of suspense and hardboiled action.

We hope you are as excited as we are.

Cheers,

Greg Shepard, publisher

Stark House Press

Bring It On

Britney Spears threatens Paris Hilton with lesbian footage | Herald Sun: "IN THE latest battle between the wild girls of Hollywood, Britney Spears has reportedly threatened to leak footage of Paris Hilton in a lesbian romp.

The singer and her pals sent the heiress a letter warning her that they would leak the footage, which shows Hilton in a compromising position with one of Spears' friends, unless her attitude changed.

'The letter warns Paris that if she continues being rude to people, the footage will be leaked online,' says an insider."

Black Book

I thought this was a very entertaining movie. It's kind of an old-fashioned WWII espionage thriller, put together like a good Alistair MacLean novel translated to film, but with one major difference: the main character is a woman, played with intelligence and spirit by Carice van Houten. Wow. She's terrific.

Van Houten plays a Dutch Jew, a singer who's hiding out from the Nazis. When her hiding place is destroyed, she has to find other ways to survive. The story takes off at a run and doesn't let up again, not even at the end. There are betrayals galore, there's twist after twist, there's romance, there's sex (okay, that's another major difference from a MacLean novel), there's violence, there's degradation.

There's even a bit of moral ambiguity as director Paul ver Hoeven makes the Nazis almost human. The worst of the villians plays a mean piano, whistles a nice tune, and even sings a little tenor harmony. But he's a monster all the same. Not so the SS officer played by Sebastian Koch. He's hardly a monster at all.

I missed this one in the theater, but it's way better than the last batch of big-budget Hollywood thrillers I've seen. Check it out.

Gator Update (Pittsburgh Edition)

Big Alligator Surprises Police In Pittsburgh Home - Pittsburgh News Story - WTAE Pittsburgh: "PITTSBURGH -- It seemed everyone was trying to escape the snow in Pittsburgh on Wednesday -- even a 6-foot alligator.

Police said they found it in the basement of a home in the 500 block of North Murtland Avenue in Homewood while trying to make arrests in a robbery case.

Animal Control workers were called to remove the gator. They said it's the biggest one they've ever seen in the city."

Sell that Netflix Stock Now

You don't mess with the USPS.

Post Office Drawback Cited in Dark Forecast for Netflix - New York Times: "When Netflix’s seven million subscribers send their DVDs back to one of the rental service’s 47 distribution centers, the discs do not represent many happy returns for the Postal Service.

According to a recent audit by the service’s Office of Inspector General, the adhesive flap that seals the Netflix mailers often jams machinery and requires sorting by hand, adding $21 million a year to the service’s labor costs. The Office of Inspector General has recommended a 17-cent surcharge on every package that requires hand sorting (not just Netflix discs)."

I Don't Want Minimize the Horror . . .

. . . of what happened in Omaha, but where do people like Mike Fahey (and for that matter, George Bush) learn to speak the English language? And how do they get elected to office? Maybe I'm wrong to be opposed to politicians who can't speak (and probably can't write) a coherent sentence, but isn't it possible that if their thought processes are so screwed up that they can't speak or write, they might not be able to govern, either? Or maybe I'm just being cranky.

ABC News: Dumped and Fired: Hawkins Snapped: "The mayor of Omaha, Neb. summed up the shock in the community following Wednesday's shooting rampage in a shopping mall that left nine people dead.

'We will not accept this evil action to occur in our community,' Mayor Mike Fahey proclaimed at a news conference today."

Paris Hilton is Classy

Paris Hilton Turns Down 'The Bachelorette' - Starpulse News Blog: "Paris Hilton has ruled out appearing on a future season of reality show The Bachelorette because she finds the program's male contestants a turn-off.

The Simple Life star was recently rumored to be the single lady who gets to choose her ideal man on the show, but Hilton insists she'd never consider such an offer."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Texas couple celebrates 80th anniversary - UPI.com: "PALESTINE, Texas, Dec. 5 (UPI) -- Melvin and Minnie Lou Scott enjoy the simple pleasures in life in their Texas town and recently a rare one -- celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary.

At the age of 100 and 99 respectively, Melvin and Minnie Lou may be the oldest married couple in the United States, having celebrated eight decades together last month, the Tyler Morning Telegraph said Tuesday.

While the pair's habits of eating bacon almost every day and doing their own yard work may not be recommended for anyone their age, they do offer some key advice to a lengthy successful marriage.

'If people want to stay married, I guess I would tell them to live right, stay off dope and live a clean life,' Minnie Lou said."

The Most Dangerous Game

Maybe in a couple of years the hunters will get real bullets.

Sci Fi show gives contestants Run for Money | Oddly Enough | Reuters: "LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Sci Fi Channel has ordered a pilot for 'Run for Money,' a reality competition that pits contestants against one another in the quest for cash prizes as they are stalked by 'hunters.'"

Best Policework of the Day

Behold the power of Google. Thanks to Walter Satterthwait for the link.

Woman found canoeist photo via Google | Special reports | Guardian Unlimited: "A single mother put police and journalists to shame in their attempts to unravel the mysterious reappearance of the canoeist John Darwin by using a simple Google search, it emerged today.

The woman found the picture that apparently shows Darwin with his wife, Anne, in Panama City in July last year.

When confronted with the picture, which was printed in the Daily Mirror yesterday, Anne Darwin is reported to have admitted: 'Yes that's him. My sons will never forgive me.'

The photograph was available on a website of the firm Move to Panama.

It was found by the anonymous woman after she tapped in the words 'John, Anne and Panama' into Google. She then forwarded the picture to both Cleveland police and the Mirror.

She said when she forwarded the picture to detectives, she was told: 'You're joking.'"

The 100 Best Characters in Fiction Since 1900 — Infoplease.com

The 100 Best Characters in Fiction Since 1900 — Infoplease.com: "Book Magazine, now defunct, compiled a panel of 55 authors, literary agents, editors, and actors in 2002 to “rank the top one hundred characters in literature since 1900.”"

Hat tip to The Good Girls Kill for Money Club.

Too Much Information?

Maybe. This is certainly a waste of good chocolate, if you ask me.

Rare Maya "Death Vase" Discovered: "An extremely rare and intricately carved 'death vase' has been discovered in the 1,400-year-old grave of an elite figure from the Maya world, scientists say.

The vase is the first of its kind to be found in modern times, and its contents are opening a window onto ancient rituals of ancestor worship that included food offerings, chocolate enemas, and hallucinations induced by vomiting, experts say."

Headline of the Day

Kangaroo farts could ease global warming | NEWS.com.au: "AUSTRALIAN scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say."

Happy Birthday, Little Richard!

Watching Little Richard on those TV commercials these days, it's hard not to think he's become something of a parody of himself. But those of us who were around to hear the sheer power of "Tutti-Frutti" blaring out of a car radio in 1955 were changed forever.

Little Richard - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Richard Wayne Penniman (born December 5, 1932), better known by the stage name Little Richard, is a celebrated African-American singer, songwriter and pianist, who began performing in the 1940s and who was a key figure in the transition from rhythm & blues to rock and roll in the mid-1950s."

The Red State Guys . . .

. . . discuss Evel Knievel's passing. Some of the language is NSFW.

And you can read about the plans for the funeral here.

When Toads are Outlawed . . .

. . . only outlaws will have toads.

Cops: More smoke toad venom to get high - Yahoo! News: "KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Law enforcement authorities have discovered that people are willing to go to great lengths to get high, including a troubling new method that features a frightened toad.

'Toad smoking,' which is a substitute for 'toad licking,' is done by extracting venom from the Sonoran Desert toad of the Colorado River. The toad's venom — which is secreted when the toad gets angry or scared — contains a hallucinogen called bufotenine that can be dried and smoked to produce a buzz.

In October, a Kansas City man was charged with possessing a controlled substance after Clay County authorities determined he possessed a toad with the intent to use its venom to get high."

Genius Update

Sherri Shepherd Doesn't Get That Whole BC Thing, Insists "Jesus Came First" - Media on The Huffington Post: "For whatever reason, the ladies on 'The View' were discussing ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus this morning. Naturally, talk soon migrated to the topic of religion, and Sherri 'I don't know if the world is flat' Shepherd came out to play. More specifically, to spew ignorance and a complete lack of understanding of basic world history! Discussing whether Christians were around during Epicurus' time (Epicurus lived from 341-270 B.C.), Sherri chimed in, '[The Greeks] had Christians 'cause they threw them to the lions.'

When Whoopi tried to cautiously navigate her through the timeline of basic world events, saying, 'I think this might predate that,' Sherri responded, 'I don't think anything predated Christians.' "

B. O. L. O.

42-foot-tall inflatable snowman stolen in Tyler | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "TYLER, Texas — 'Frosty' the snowman has been swiped.

The 42-foot-tall inflatable holiday decoration is missing from a tree farm in Tyler.

Officials at Dixon Farms say Frosty, worth about $10,000, was last seen Friday night.

So far no arrests.

Lot owner Royce Wisenbaker believes Frosty was hoisted over a fence.

A $1,000 reward has been posted for the safe return of the towering decoration.

Frosty is described as a white male, sporting a red hat and scarf, with a pipe in his mouth."

Problems with Comments Update

I found this on "Blogger Help": "Blogger has removed the URL field for unauthenticated comments. Instead, we're rolling out support for OpenID, a technology for "signing" your comments with your own URL. OpenID lets you comment with the URL you want, while preventing others from impersonating you." This might explain the problems. I have my blog set so that anyone can comment without providing an ID, but Blogger might be having trouble with that.

Top 25 Raunchy Comedies

Hat tip to John Duke, who says he doesn't think some of these are very raunchy.

Best Raunchy Comedies: Moviefone Ranks the Top 25 - Moviefone: We would love to include the hilariously lewd 'Juno' on our list of the top 25 most outrageous, raunchy R-rated comedies of all time. Sadly, it's rated PG-13. But we didn't have a hard time finding 25 other brilliant flicks that contain copious amounts of swearing, drinking, fornicating and anything else that walks a fine line between offensive and outstanding.

Movies Better than the Books They're Based On?

The list is here. I think he's wrong about Shane, for sure.

Hat tip to Gerard Saylor for the link.

What's Going on with the Comments?

Some people seem to be having trouble with the comments, or not being allowed to comment. I'm not sure what's going on. The blog's settings are such that anyone, even those without a blogger account, can comment, but in some cases that's not happening. Just keep trying, and I'll see if I can dig up an answer.

Mike Ripley's Latest Column Posted at Shots Magazine

With lots of good stuff and nice photos. Click here.

Flash: Paris Hilton Not Even in Top 20!

Lindsay named the dumbest celeb - Access Hollywood - msnbc.com: "LOS ANGELES - Hollywood is filled with people who should be sent to the head of the Tinsel town class, for their talents, creativity and influence on the entertainment industry — but what about the ones who should be held back a year, sent to detention or maybe even expelled?"

The Road -- Cormac McCarthy

There have been dozens, maybe hundreds, of post-apocalypse novels, most of them by genre writers and therefore overlooked by the literary guys. Now and then a mainstream writer discovers doomsday, and the resulting novel gets a lot of play. The first one I remember like that was Philip Wylie's When Worlds Collide. Then came On the Beach by Neville Shute. And now we have Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which was such a hit that it won the Pulitzer.

It's basically a two-character story. The two, the man and the boy, are among the last survivors of some kind of apocalyptic event and they wander through what appears to be a nuclear winter, looking for food, starving, avoiding roving bands of cannibals and worse. They follow the road, trying to get to the sea. The man's not sure what he expects to find when they arrive. If they arrive. Maybe it's all about someone's search for meaning even where there is no meaning, or maybe it's about humanity's ability to hope when there appears to be no reason to hope. Or if there's no meaning at the end of the journey, maybe the journey itself is meaningful. Or . . . I think I'll stop now.

McCarthy's up to his usual stylistic tricks: no quotation marks, scanty use of the comma, and so on. This time he's very heavy on the sentence fragments, one after another. Took me nearly 100 pages to stop being irritated by them. I was brought up short by other things occasionally, sentences like this one: What are you doing? he hissed. You know what I'm going to say, right? Just try hissing it. And this one, which just made me say, "Huh?": . . . and the fire was good for no more than an hour or perhaps a bit more. But I liked this book better than No Country for Old Men, maybe because I have a weakness for post-apocalypse stories. It turned out to have a more hopeful ending than I was expecting. While it's not exactly jolly, it's not as bleak as the novel had prepared me for.

Here are a few of my favorite post-apocalypse tales, all of them as award-worthy as McCarthy's novel in my book:

A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Damnation Alley, Roger Zelazny
On the Beach, Neville Shute
Earth Abides, George R. Stewart
Dr. Bloodmoney, Philip K. Dick
Through Darkest America, Neal Barrett, Jr.
Alas, Babylon, Pat Frank
The Postman, David Brin
The Stand, Stephen King
Swan Song, Robert McCammon
Farnham's Freehold, Robert A. Heinlein
The Long Tomorrow, Leigh Brackett
Day of the Triffids, John Wyndam

Typewriters Can Be Dangerous

Sarasota parking garage reopens; suspicious package turns out to be old typewriter: "The Sarasota County parking garage at East and Ringling boulevards reopened at 10:30 a.m. Monday after police blew up a suspicious package that was discovered two hours earlier.

The package contained an old typewriter inside a case that was discovered in the ground floor stairwell on the northwest side of the garage. The typewriter was inside a locked gate that only county employees can access.

Investigators used a remote-controlled robot to detonate the package. All downtown streets around the garage were closed during the investigation and were reopened at 10:30 a.m."

Name that TV Theme Song!

Some of you can probably score 100% on this one.

Soon to be a Major Motion Picture . . .

. . . starring John Vernon and Sybil Danning. And it's no wonder that Fox News is winning the ratings war. They report the good, wholesome stories that all America is wondering about.

FOXNews.com - Jailers Fired for Encouraging Female Inmate Bikini 'Fashion Show' - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News: "SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. — Three jailers have been fired and one suspended for encouraging female inmates who put on a mock fashion show that included a bikini made from a sweatshirt.

'They used their prison uniforms and anything else for the fashion show,' sheriff's office administrator Larry Lowman said of the ten Bedford County Jail inmates who participated.

Alma Cantu watched the inmates through a large security window while three male guards — Steven Qualls, Jason Carden and Jamie Farris — watched them on security monitors, Lowman and Sheriff Randall Boyce said.

'There were some remarks made over the intercom into that [cell] block,' Lowman said. 'One of the guards asked a particular female to blow into the speaker ... box of the intercom [which doubles as a microphone] and as she did, he put his microphone down to his crotch.'"

101 Christmas Videos

The Christmas Spot - Another 101 Christmas Videos to Watch and Enjoy (2007 Edition) - Fanpop: "Another Holiday season is upon us and you know what that means: break out the egg nog, light up the tree, put up the stockings, take out a second mortgage for the credit card bill and fire up The Carpenter's Christmas album (turn it up to 11, will you?).

It also means it's time for another list of Christmas video goodies.

So kick back and get ready to enjoy another batch of holiday fun. Oh, and in case you missed last year's list be sure to check out the original list of 101 Classic Christmas Videos."

Hat tip to Rick Klaw over at the Dark Forces Book Group.

Now Appearing on the Right . . .

. . . a slideshow of Mike Shayne's Mystery Magazine covers from the good old days. If you'd like slightly larger photos, there's a flickr slideshow here.

It Figures

Young chimp beats college students - Yahoo! News: "NEW YORK - Never mind that TV show that asks if you're smarter than a fifth-grader. Is your memory better than a young chimp's?

Maybe not.

Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in two tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won."

Cool

Partially mummified dinosaur revealed | The Courier-Mail: "A PARTIALLY mummified hadrosaur discovered by a teenager in North Dakota may be the most complete dinosaur ever found, with intact skin that shows evidence of stripes and perhaps soft tissue, researchers said today.

Enough of the animal remains to show it ran quickly and was far more muscular than scientists believed such dinosaurs were.

'It's sort of King Tut meets T Rex,' paleontologist Phil Manning of the University of Manchester in Britain said.

The creature is fossilised, with the skin and bone turned to stone. But unlike most dinosaur fossils, tissues are preserved as well.

This includes large expanses of the animal's skin, with clear remains of scales.

'This is not a skin impression. This is fossilised skin,' Dr Manning said."

Gator Update (Duct Tape Edition)

Video at link, but you have to sit through a Poligrip commercial.

abc13.com: Man wrestles gator with tape in hand 12/02/07: "They found an alligator roaming the streets and it ended up in one family's backyard.

Larry Barnes and his family saw the three foot long gator this afternoon off Waxahachie and Barbara. They were afraid it was going to hurt someone so

Larry's son grabbed some tape and tackled the animal. He put the tape over the gator's mouth. They don't know why it was so far away from water but they're having a good sense of humor about it."

A Little Culture

Everett Gee Jackson was my great uncle. He was known to everybody in the family as "Beency," which is what his brothers and sisters called him. There are some of his other works pictured at the link.

SAN DIEGO MUSEUM of ART | Everett Gee Jackson: "Everett Gee Jackson/San Diego Modern, 1920–1955 November 3, 2007—January 27, 2008 This major retrospective organized by SDMA presents the work of Everett Gee Jackson, San Diego’s most important Modernist artist. Featuring more than 50 works that span the most significant and productive decades of the artist’s career, San Diego Modern presents a representative range of Jackson’s multi-faceted work, while contextualizing Jackson within the broader scope of mid-twentieth century American modernism."

My Tax Dollars at Work

The Device NASA Is Leaving Behind - washingtonpost.com: "After years of delays, NASA hopes to launch this week a European-built laboratory that will greatly expand the research capability of the international space station. Although some call it a milestone, the launch has focused new attention on the space agency's earlier decision to back out of plans to send up a different, $1.5 billion device -- one that many scientists contend would produce far more significant knowledge.

The instrument, which would detect and measure cosmic rays in a new way, took 500 physicists from around the world 12 years to build. But with room on the 10 remaining shuttle missions to the space station in short supply, many fear that it will remain forever warehoused on Earth, becoming the most sophisticated and costly white elephant of the space era."

The Durango Kid

When I was a mere sprout of a lad, I saw a double feature western movie nearly every Saturday afternoon. Often the movie featured Charles Starrett as the Durango Kid, so when someone tipped me to the fact that TCM was having a mini-festival of Durango Kid movies, I set the DVR.

The Durango Kid is the first movie in the series, though apparently nobody planned it that way. But the movie was popular, and a few years later the character was brought back for another. And another and another until 60 or so features had been made. I remember the later ones best, after Smiley Burnette had become the comic sidekick.

In this first movie, there is (blessedly) no sidekick. There are, however, the Sons of the Pioneers, with a young and skinny Pat Brady thrown in for alleged comic relief. I didn't find myself laughing much during the opening barn-painting scene, but you can't beat the Sons of the Pioneers when it comes to singing cowboy songs.

The plot is pretty simple: Bill Lowry's father is killed by the bad guys because he (the father) is sticking up for "the nesters." Bill vows to find his dad's killer, and he does so as the Durango Kid. Everybody's pretty cavalier about the disguise. The marshal appears to suspect all along, and Bill even gets Bob Nolan to impersonate the Kid, with the rest of the Sons riding along as his gang. Bill hits at his secert identity to the chief bad guy, and at the end of the movie, the Kid is unmasked.

Starrett is an athletic guy, and he does just fine in the role of the Durango Kid. He might have been a pretty good actor if he hadn't become stuck in the role. Everything in the movie is entirely predictable, but it's fun in a nostalgic way.

There's stuff here that I might not have noticed if I'd seen the movie as a kid. For example, there are scenes from other movies cut in. One night scene of a house burning is painfully obvious, especially since the intercut scenes of the Kid are all daylight scenes. And the people in the house don't seem bothered at all by the raging inferno that's shown in the exterior shots.

And I have a major gripe. What I saw must have been a mutilated print. I didn't know TCM went in for that sort of thing, but I'm certain there are several minutes, maybe ten or so, missing from the movie. Either that, or it has serious continuity troubles. While that's not impossible, it seems more likely to me that TCM showed a bad copy. Of course I could be wrong. I often am.

I've watched only a few minutes of the second movie, The Return of the Durango Kid, but already things have gotten cheaper. The Sons of the Pioneers are gone, replaced by the Jesters, whoever they are. I do plan to see all of this one eventually, and maybe even one of the later ones. Too bad they didn't show one with Smiley Burnett, though.

If You Were the U. S. Editor of this Series, . .

. . . would you have changed the main character's name?

Harry Hole - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Harry Hole is the main character in a series of, so far, seven crime novels written by Jo Nesbo. Hole is a classic loose cannon in the police force, with few close friends and some unorthodox methods. Hole is a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. The latter brings him into repeated conflict with his superiors and some of his colleagues, but Bjarne Moller, head of Hole's department and one of his closest friends, manages to prevent him from being kicked out. This is not primarily due to pity, but the fact that Harry Hole is also a brilliant detective."

These Guys Need to Visit Blacklin County

BBC NEWS | South Asia | 'Yeti prints' found near Everest: "A US TV presenter says he and his team have found a series of footprints in the Everest region of Nepal resembling descriptions of the mysterious Yeti.

The presenter and his colleagues say they are 'very excited', although they are not saying they definitely believe it is the mark of the Yeti.

Josh Gates and his crew work on a series called Destination Truth, which follows reports of fantastic creatures.

The footprints found on Wednesday have renewed Yeti excitement in Nepal."