Memory Lane

Yesterday's links to James Reasoner's interview and to the J. C. Penney catalog from 1976 sent me into a veritable frenzy of nostalgia, from which I have yet to recover.

In the late '70s, I'd been contributing reviews and articles to mystery fanzines for years, starting with Len and June Moffatt's JDM Bibliophile, Lianne Carlin's The Mystery Lover's Newsletter (the title later changed to The Mystery Reader's Newsletter) and Al Hubin's The Armchair Detective. I continued in such fabulous venues as Jeff Meyerson's The Poisoned Pen, Guy Townsend's The Mystery FANcier, and Andy Jaysnovitch's The Not-So Private-Eye. Later on, there was MDM Cap'n Bob Napier's inimitable letterzine. It was around 1976 that Steve Lewis' personalzine The Fatal Kiss that lured me into the ranks of DAPA-Em, where I remain happily ensconced today.

From letters appearing in some of the fanzines, I learned about two other Texas mystery fans, both of them on their way to becoming famous: James Reasoner and Joe Lansdale.

I was at an AggieCon around 1979 when I saw a guy and his wife sitting in the hallway outside the dealer's room. I read the guy's nametag and discovered that he was Joe Lansdale. I still remember how I introduced myself: "I think I know you from another fandom." Joe was skeptical (go figure), but when I told him I'd been reading his letters in The Mystery FANcier and The Poisoned Pen, we immediately became pals. We began corresponding right after the convention.

I'd already been corresponding with James, I believe, thanks to letters in the same fanzines. Even then, James wasn't big on attending conventions, so I hadn't met him yet. That would come a little later.

I was living in Brownwood, Texas, teaching at Howard Payne University, where I was in a writers' group with four or five others. I was writing poetry, some of which was being published in little magazines, and even in a couple of national magazines. Jack Davis, husband of one of the group members, is the one who suggested that he and I could write a Nick Carter novel. I wasn't so sure, but Jack sent off for the guidelines, and we got started on what was to become The Coyote Connection, which eventually sold and which was published in January 1981.

At the same time Jack and I were writing The Coyote Connection, James was working on Texas Wind, and Joe was writing, among other things, Act of Love. All three of those books came out about the same time, and I can well remember how elated all three of us were. I was getting a much later start than James and Joe, a point that was brought home forcefully to me at the 1981 AggieCon when I met Lew Shiner. He spotted me in the dealer's room and introduced himself, saying that Joe Lansdale had told him he should meet me. I've never forgotten Lew's next words: "I thought you were a young guy, like us." While I've never forgotten, I have, over the years, managed to forgive him.

My first meeting with James occurred soon after the publication of The Coyote Connection. My half of the flat fee for the book was $1250. I used the money to to buy my first VCR, and I bought it from James Reasoner's dad, since James said he'd deliver it in person. He brought it to Brownwood and helped me hook it up. Later we went to Greenleaf Cemetery and visited Robert E. Howard's grave. (In case you're wondering, the first thing I ever taped was The Great Race.)

As I mentioned, James and Joe have gone on to fame and fortune. The fanzines, I'm sad to say, have all but disappeared. Certainly the print versions are long gone. Sure, rara-avis, DorothyL, Crimespace, and The Big Adios are great. And Mystery*File is a wonderful resource, but I miss the print zines. We have things like Crimespree, The Mystery Readers Journal, and Mystery Scene, but it's not quite the same.

Yesterday was the birthday of F. Scott Fitzgerald, who said it much better than I can: "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Well, some of us, anyway.

Gator Update (Another DVD Edition)

A comprehensive review here. I gotta get this DVD. I've had the one-sheet for years, ever since the movie came out.

Wotta Relief!

Law.com - Judge: Bloggers Entitled to Immunity Under Communications Act: "Bloggers cannot be hit with libel suits on the basis of anonymous postings on their Web sites because federal law grants them immunity by explicitly stating that they cannot be treated as the 'publisher' of such comments, a federal judge has ruled."

Sigh. I Miss the '70s.

And who wouldn't? Check out these great pages from the 1976 J. C. Penney's catalog. And these. Awesome doesn't begin to describe them.

Links via Boing Boing.

Out of the Gutter #3

Out of the Gutter is on the offensive again, coming at you with our most daring issue to date!

The theme for issue 3 is "war is all hell," as stated by William Tecumseh Sherman, America's first master of "scorched earth" warfare. On that note we've got disturbing fiction on torture, terrorism, shellshock and naked aggression, nonfiction from inside the combat zone, nonfiction wrestling with the uncomfortable realities of 9/11, and nonfiction detailing the collapse of our society right here at home--and of course we're packing the issue with fun facts, twisted humor, verse, striking imagery, and delivering it all with the usual balls-out, raw, fearless style.

To learn more go to www.outoftheguttermagazine.com where you can check out the issue 3 commercial, read previews, dig the new cover, and place your advance order.

Enjoy looking over the fresh material and don't forget to embed the commercial on your site and tell everyone you know about Out of the Gutter 3. Thanks for your time and please feel free to e-mail with any questions or comments.

--the editors

Gator Update (Must-Have DVD Edition)

The review is here.

New Issue of Mysterical-E is Up and Ready

Click here for stories, reviews, and more.

The Web's 25 Most Influential People

Another list I'm not on. However, my friend Tom is #2. Way to go, Tom!

Fine Interview with James Reasoner

At Saddlebums.

I'm Sure Homeland Security is behind This

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

NFL Bans Cheerleaders From Flaunting It in Front of Visiting Players - FanHouse - AOL Sports Blog: "CBS NFL analyst Charlie Casserly reported on today's pregame show that the NFL sent a memo to all 32 teams last week informing them that home teams are not permitted to tell their cheerleaders to warm up, stretch, or otherwise do anything in front of the visiting team's bench that might distract the players before the game.

Apparently there were concerns around the league that some teams had specifically told their cheerleading units to warm up prior to the game right in front of the visiting team, in hopes that the visiting team's players would be too distracted checking out the cheerleaders to pay attention to their coaches' pregame instructions. "

Blades of Glory

I know, I know. I shouldn't have taken time off from revising my essay "A Defense of Zabriskie Point" to watch this. But I did.

To determine whether you'd watch it or not, decide how you'd respond to this sentence: Will Ferrell in spandex. Okay, that's eliminated about 99% of you, who can now go back to discussing the ending of Blow Up.

For the rest of you, the movie's about what you'd expect from a Will Ferrell spoof of figure skating. What? You say figure skating's doing a fine job of spoofing itself? True, but the movie goes a little beyond that, and I found a lot of it very funny. Dumb? Yes. But funny. When it comes to playing macho pigs, Ferrell is one of the best. And Jon Heder's performance is pretty funny, too. I'd give the movie a 5.8. You might just wish it would go away.

Career Opportunity

Must sex be a part of sex stings? -- themorningcall.com: "Offended by a masseuse's offer to go beyond routine rubbing into something downright unprintable, the spa customer went to the state police and offered his services: He would take on the role of confidential informant and gather evidence of prostitution at North Whitehall's Shiatsu Spa.

He ended up having sex four times in the name of justice.

When that fact emerged this week during a Lehigh County Court hearing for one of two spa employees charged with prostitution in the 2006 case, it cast light on a surprisingly common and irony-rich investigative procedure: having civilians pay for sex during crackdowns on sex-for-pay."

Fantastic Fest 3

Fantastic Fest 3 is going on in Austin right now, and Rick Klaw is blogging about it. If you're not attending, you might enjoy finding out about what's going on and reading Rick's reviews of some of the movies. Click here to check it out.

New Issue of Blazing Adventures Now On-Line

Check it out here if you're in the market for some pulp fiction today.

Happy Birthday, Ray Charles!

I still remember the first time I heard this song. I was listening to WRR out of Dallas late one night on the highway between Mexia and Corsicana. Those were the days.

Rock's Hardest Partiers

I never get on lists like this one.

Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the link.

War Is Hell. And then There's Houston.

Houston crime shows U.N. refugees the sinister side of America | LOCAL NEWS | Breaking Houston News, Weather, Sports, Traffic, Video from KHOU.com | 11 News: "Saleh is a refugee from Africa. He’s just one of dozens of Africans brought to the states by a United Nations program that enables the persecuted to get out of harm’s way.

These victims of many wars were literally dropped off in southwest Houston at an apartment complex where there’s a brewing clash of cultures.
.....

While they thought their hardest obstacles would be learning English and having enough food to eat, in reality trying to survive the crime has moved to the top of the list.

Many claim they’re being assaulted. The latest such attack occurred Friday morning.

The refugee that was assaulted had to be taken to a local hospital. The attack was reportedly over a cell phone.

Over the last few weeks, at least six refugees have been assaulted."

Man of the House

Tommy Lee Jones is a Texas Ranger who's housesitting a group of University of Texas cheerleaders who have witnessed a murder. Either you'll want to watch the movie after reading that, or you won't, so I don't really have to say more. I will, of course.

There's some nice scenery in this one, including some fine shot shots of UT and the Governor's Mansion. Rick Perry, the current gov, whom I loathe, even has a speaking part. The Capitol building stands in for the county, or maybe the federal, courthouse.

The picture begins like a straight action movie with lots of shooting and explosions. It might even have been a good one. But right after that, it becomes an out-and-out comedy.

Jones is the straight-arrow, uptight guy who's going to get loosened up by his association with the life-embracing cheerleaders. He plays it deadpan all the way, and very effectively, too. The cheerleaders wear skimpy clothes. It's thoroughly implausible and, let's face it, dumb. I laughed a lot. You might not.

Update: Once Again, Texas DOESN'T Lead the Way

Where's the ad? Houston may have a beef with Silverstone spot - Los Angeles Times: " The 30-year-old actress set off a firestorm of interest -- and, apparently, controversy -- by posing nude in a television commercial on behalf of PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Silverstone, a well-known animal rights activists and environmentalist, is shown swimming in a pool naked and talking about the beauty of a vegetarian lifestyle. As she emerges from the pool, her carefully placed limbs and some fancy camera work leave it all to the imagination.

But it may be too much for Texas.

The 30-second spot was to debut in Texas on Wednesday but was reportedly banned in that bastion of beef by Comcast Cable. (You may recall that the Lone Star State's beef barons took Oprah Winfrey to task for allegedly backhanding their industry. The O prevailed.)"

You can see the ad here if you're curious.

The Last Tomb -- John Lange

John Lange is the one of the names Michael Crichton used before he became a rich and famous writer under his own. Actually, I prefer the Lange books to Crichton's current novels, but that's just me.

The Last Tomb is Bantam's 1974 re-titled reissue of Easy Go, originally published in 1968 by Signet. I reviewed that edition for 1001 Midnights back in 1985 or so, and when I ran across a copy of the Bantam edition the other day, I thought I'd re-read it. It's the story of a group of modern tomb-robbers in Egypt. Harold Barnaby, an Egyptologist, comes across the directions to a heretofore unknown tomb while translating some hierogylyphics, and he enlists a journalist named Pierce to help him find and loot it.

Pierce recruits the team in the book's first part. The second part is the search for the tomb. The final part is what happens after the tomb is found. Naturally things don't work out as the would-be robbers had planned.

I enjoyed reading this one again. It's fast and light, with plenty of local color and history worked into the narrative. I have no idea if Lange had been to Egypt, but he makes you believe he's describing sights, smells, and sounds that he's quite familiar with. The story's the thing here, not characterization or philosophy, and the story's good enough to carry you (or me, anyway) right along.

Hard Case Crime has reprinted one of the Lange novels, but this one, while equally good (maybe better), isn't really the kind of thing that would interest that publisher. You'll have to luck into a used copy somewhere. Don't bother looking on the 'Net unless you want to pay a lot more than the book's worth.

This Guy Can Do It in 7 Seconds

The Ninth Gate

George Kelley recommended this movie to me. It slipped by me completely on its original release, and I didn't even know that it had to do with rare books and book collectors. So I was glad to catch up with it on DVD.

Johnny Depp, doing his usual excellent job, plays a book dealer with questionable ethics. (I refuse to make any jokes here.) He's hired by Boris Balkan (Frank Langella) to compare his copy of a very rare book to the only two remaining copies. The book has an interesting history, and it begins to seem that the certain illustrations might have been done by Lucifer, whose work appears on different pages in each copy. Put all his engravings together, and what do you get? That's for Langella to know and for Depp to find out.

In some ways this is an effective horror movie, a lot more interesting to me than any number of variations on the old "how many buckets of fake blood can we use" pictures around these days. The book collecting aspects are especially appealing, and Depp's detective work is often engrossing. He's not an appealing character even at the beginning, and he becomes a much worse person as the plot thickens. Along the way he's assisted by a woman who may (or may not) be Lucifer in earthly form. (And not a bad form at all, I must say.)

So what's not to like? Well, the parts that are good in themselves don't add up to an entirely successful whole. The occult sex club wasn't creepy or effective, and the ending didn't satisfy me, though it might have impressed me more if I'd been sure what it meant. Overall, the movie's certainly worth a look, especially if you like books.

The Big O -- Declan Burke

It's hard to describe the plot of The Big O. Let's just say it has to do with a secretary who's into armed robbery on the side, a retired kidnapper who's not really retired, a recently released convict, a discredited surgeon and his wife, a cop or two, and a dog. I think that about covers it.

How all these characters act and interact makes up the plot, which I have to admit involves a lot of coincidences, enough to fill a couple of Woolrich novels. My theory is that the coincidences are there to show that there's some kind of hidden order in what appears outwardly to be a chaotic world. But I could be wrong. And it doesn't matter anyway, because The Big O is a very entertaining crime novel. It's fast-moving, it has snappy dialog, and it's and wickedly funny. It's told in short chapters that concentrate on the individual characters and their situations. The plot builds and builds, and the climactic scenes really pay off.

As for the title, well, you'll have to decide for yourself what it means. And, yes, Roy Orbison is mentioned.

The book's not yet available in the U. S., more's the pity, but I was lucky enough to snag a review copy. Check it out if you get the chance.

The Man from the Alamo

Walter Satterthwait weighs in with another movie review.

I watched THE MAN FROM THE ALAMO last night. This movie is what we professional reviewers learn to identify in critics school as "a piece of shit." It's a Budd Boetticher film, so I had high hopes for it. But the dialog is sappy and stilted -- everyone except Glenn Ford talks without contractions, in the kind of stiff, formal English that might be used by a prissy schoolmarm. Even the little Mexican peasant kid says things like "I'll not let you." What little Mexican peasant kid says stuff like that? What human being, at any time in history, says stuff like that?

The idea is that old Glenn, one of the besieged defenders of the Alamo, leaves the place to protect the families of his friends, and his own family, all of whom are threatened by the Mexican army under Santa Ana. In an amazing plot twist, it turns out that the families are all dead, so Glenn doesn't have a whole lot to do. But naturally everyone in town -- especially Hugh O'Brian, who struts around in a skin-tight buckskin shirt -- assumes that Glenn's a yellowbelly for leaving the Alamo, and wants to string him up. The Sheriff tosses him in jail for his own good, as Sheriffs are wont to do.

Fortunately, in an amazing plot twist, Glenn's cell is occupied by Neville Brand, who's one of the Bad Guys who killed Glenn's family. In another amazing plot twist, just as the townspeople break into the jail and carry Glenn off to hang him, as townspeople are wont to do, Neville Brand's fellow outlaws, led by Victor Jory, ride into town and rescue Glen and Neville, as outlaw gangs are wont to do. In an amazing plot twist, Glen goes along with Vic and the boys because this will give him a chance to exact vengeance on the lowlifes who killed his family.

Meanwhile, the whole town leaves town, to avoid being killed by General Santa Ana, who apparently has nothing better to do at this point than attack civilians. Hugh O'Brian, still wearing his skin-tight buckskin shirt, leads the wagon train. In an amazing plot twist, Victor's gang attacks the wagon train, but Glen is able to warn the town of the gang's coming, and then, in an amazing plot twist, he joins the wagon train himself. This puts him in solid with Julie Adams, who looks great and who's the only person on the wagon train who doesn't want to lynch Glenn, except for the little Mexican kid, who continues to talk like Angela Lansbury.

Hugh O'Brian still doesn't trust the yellowbelly. (Julie does, though.) But then, in an amazing plot twist, Hugh is ordered, by a dispatch from Sam Houston, to leave the wagon train and come fight at the Battle of San Jacinto. In a flash, and for no reason that I could determine, Hugh decides that Glenn is an okay guy and lets him take over the wagon train. Glenn borrows some rifles from Hugh and his men, who apparently feel that they won't be needing any rifles in the upcoming battle. Glenn doesn't borrow any ammunition, but maybe he figures that the women who'll be using the rifles won't know how to shoot anyway.

As soon as Hugh leaves, Vic and the boys attack the wagon train. Boy, are they in for a surprise when the women on the train shoot back. And, boy, are they (and me) in for a surprise when the women reload with powder horns that no one's ever seen before.

In an amazing plot twist, Victor attacks the wagon train from the rear, but Glenn has foreseen that, naturally, and he and Victor end up, naturally, in a fist fight at the top of a picturesque water fall. Victor cheats a bit, of course, tries to drown Glenn in the rushing current; but Glenn proves that morality beats out villainy every time, and, with a classic uppercut, knocks Victor off the falls.

We end with Glenn leaving the wagon train and riding off to fight in the Battle of San Jacinto himself. Julie Adams and the little Mexican peasant kid are confident that he'll come back safe and sound, which is a pretty good bet, considering that Glenn is packing a revolver that won't be invented for another thirty or so years. He probably has a Gatling gun tucked away in his pocket .

I forgot to mention that Chill Wills plays a guy who has only one arm, although everyone is way too polite to bring this to his attention, and although the missing arm serves no function at all in the story. At one point, in the middle of an amazing plot twist, Glenn tells him to climb up a tree. Neither Glenn nor Chill thinks that this is in any way notable. A couple of times, when old Chill turns his back, you can see the outline of his missing hand beneath his back pocket.

Beotticher went on to make a couple of those great Randy Scott westerns, but this movie really doesn't work.

Happy Birthday, MWA Grandmaster Stephen King!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "The novelist Stephen King (books by this author) was born on this day in Portland, Maine (1947). He's the author of The Shining (1977), Pet Sematary 1983), and From a Buick 8 (2002). He decided early on that it was more fun to write about giant man-eating rats than to write about the life of a gas station attendant or a high school English teacher, which was what he did before his stuff started to sell.

As a teacher, King had witnessed the cruelty of teenagers, so he wrote about a weird, miserable, high school girl with psychic powers named Carrie White, who takes revenge on all her classmates. Carrie was published in 1973 and King got $400,000 for the paperback rights and went on to become one of the most popular novelists of all time. It was King's contribution to the genre to take horror novels out of deserted castles and put them into small towns and fast food restaurants and libraries."

On the Road Again

Another good article, along with Kerouac's drawing of the cover.

Horrified B-Movie Victims Action Figures

You never know what will turn up on the 'net. Thanks to Beth Foxwell for the link.

Horrified B-Movie Victims - Plastic Scared Figures - Archie McPhee�: "We provide the victims, you provide the terror! Each dramatic play set includes nine 2-1/2' to 3' tall, hard vinyl victims captured in utterly terrified poses! Are they reacting to the advances of a giant, man-eating alpaca or the sight of your grandma in her nightgown and curlers? The possibilities are endless!"

Climate Change and Mammoth Bones

Mammoth bones worth money? Maybe that could be part of a mystery novel if anybody would write it.

Making a mint from Artic mammoths - Environment - smh.com.au: "One day, climate change could cost the earth. For now, it is a nice little earner for Russian hunter Alexander Vatagin.

In Siberia's northernmost reaches, high up in the Arctic Circle, the changing temperature is thawing out the permafrost to reveal the bones of prehistoric animals such as mammoths, woolly rhinos and lions that have been buried for thousands of years.

Private collectors and scientific institutes will pay huge sums for the right specimen, and bone-prospectors such asVatagin have turned this region, eight time zones from Moscow, into a palaeontological goldmine.

'Last year someone was paid 800,000 roubles [$37,000] for a mammoth head with two tusks in great condition,' Vatagin said."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

The Associated Press: Silverstone to Appear in PETA TV Ad: "HOUSTON (AP) — An animal rights group says Alicia Silverstone appears naked in a television ad promoting vegetarianism that was to debut Wednesday in Houston.

The 30-second ad was to air about two dozen times in Houston on Wednesday, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said. PETA said Houston was picked for the commercial's launch because it is often high on lists of cities with unhealthy eating habits.

Houston was named the sixth fattest city in the nation by Men's Fitness magazine this year."

New Issue of Flurb Now On-Line

It's the Fall-Winter issue, and it's right here for you SF fans.

Writing Advice from Clyde Allison

A note from Fender Tucker of Ramble House:

Writers and Wannabees like me,

I picked up a Clyde Allison sleaze book on eBay called SHAME SLAVE and on the second page was an excellent lesson on how to write descriptions. It especially hit home with me because I recently wrote a 50-page story and once it was "done" I realized that I had literally NO descriptions of the characters in the story. I guess I knew what everyone looked like and figured the reader would work it out himself. Probably a bad idea.

But here's what Clyde Allison, author of the 0008 series books, says:

"...if you want to describe your hero, and your hero is six feet tall, has wavy blond hair, huge biceps and a mean nature--never write something like Joe Blow was six feet tall with wavy blond hair, huge biceps and a mean nature."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because--because it's against the rules," said Clarence. "You gotta be subtle. You gotta write something like Joe Blow stretched to his full seventy-two inches, tossed his head to shake his wavy blond hair out of his eyes, and began to beat up his aged grandmother--his huge biceps rippling ominously with every blow."

Why didn't I think of that? My grandmother-beating scene is absolutely tepid compared to that.

News Headlines You Didn't Want to See

Grandmothers Swing on Stripper Poles for Exercise

Just in Case You'd Forgotten. . .

. . . I guess I should remind you that it's Talk Like a Pirate Day.

The Trail to Ogallala -- Benjamin Capps

This is pretty much the ultimate trail drive novel, I'd say. Sure Lonesome Dove is in the running, and then there's Red River. But this one has it all.

Billy Scott is to be the leader of the drive (3000 cattle), but the owner of the herd dies and his widow turns the leadership over to someone else. Scott's not even going to be the segundo, with that honor going to a man called Blackie.

The trail boss dies pretty quickly, and Blackie takes over. He's about as smart as a can of green beans. Scott has to figure out how to get the herd through without officially taking over control.

While the book has plenty of action (stampedes, fist fights, nights on the town), realism is the key. Capps never resorts to melodrama, and he never romanticizes the west. He must have studied plenty of true accounts before writing the novel. It's not your standard western.

One interesting thing: the book was published in 1964, but the style's more akin to a novel from another century. There's lots of showing instead of telling, and the paragraphs are long and complex. I don't mind this style at all, but I'm sure it would put off some of today's readers.

Robert Skinner is working on an article on Capps to appear in Firsts magazine. I'll be getting a copy of that, for sure.

The Grudge . . .

. . . in 30 seconds. With bunnies.

Will the Persecution Never End?

I don't suppose it will.

Peru Update

Mystery illness strikes after meteorite hits Peruvian village: " Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.

Around midday Saturday, villagers were startled by an explosion and a fireball that many were convinced was an airplane crashing near their remote village, located in the high Andes department of Puno in the Desaguadero region, near the border with Bolivia."

Manly Grooming Accessory

Walter Satterthwait sent this link. That doesn't mean he has this hair dryer, though.

Queenpin -- Megan Abbott

Megan Abbott's fine story in Damn Near Dead, "Policy," is the basis for this novel, which expands on the story's ideas and characters. The unnamed narrator is 22 years old, and she's taken in hand by Gloria Denton, a woman well up in the mob hierarchy in a gambling town. Gloria teaches her how to dress and act, not to mention how to pick up pay-offs and distribute winnings. When the narrator meets Gloria, her first though is, "I want the legs." But that's not all she wants. Whatever she has, her next thought is, "I want more." And, as it turns out, she doesn't care how she gets it. The Life is what she was born for, what she is.

She's doing just fine until she meets Vic, an unfortunate meeting for both of them. It leads eventually to a scene of shocking violence, and to other things as well. You can almost see it unspooling as a black and white movie with voice-over narration. If you think you know what's coming because you've read "Policy," you don't. Get the book, and you'll see why Ken Bruen calls Megan Abbott "the new Queen of Noir."

Space Tourism

When I saw the article linked below, I thought of this offer from the Science Fiction Book Club that appeared on the back of Astounding in May 1955. The price of a ticket has gone up since then.

With thousands signing up as early space tourists, a new race is on - International Herald Tribune: "PARIS: The week after Richard Laronde returned home from a 16-day trek to the South Pole in January, he bought a ticket to outer space.

For Laronde, who had also journeyed to the North Pole in 2006, making the decision to splurge $200,000 on one of the world's first commercial spaceflights took about as long as it takes to do a Google search for 'space tourism.' 'As soon as I got back from the South Pole, I got on the Internet,' said Laronde, 56, who owns a prospering event-planning business in Boston."

Podpublishing

The folks at Podpublishing.com bill themselves as "the future of art." Arriving in my mail today was their poster made from the cover of Junkie. You can see it to the left. I have no idea who sent it, but my thanks go out to whoever did. It's gracing my office door even now.

They have a lot of posters of old paperback covers, but there's much more, too. Check it out.

No Comment Department

Hit Ordered On Kevin Federline?: "ET has several reliable sources that the FBI and LAPD are investigating legitimate leads on a contract hit on KEVIN FEDERLINE's life.

Multiple sources tell ET that the FBI made attempts to contact Federline to inform him of the potential danger.

Sources within the FBI tell ET that this is the bureau's standard operating procedure when someone's life is threatened.

ET has been working this story for the past two months. When contacted, the FBI told us that the bureau cannot confirm or deny an investigation."

UPDATE: TMZ has learned that reports of an FBI investigation into a plot to kill Kevin Ferderline are completely untrue -- however, an LAPD investigation was conducted in the past.

According to LAPD, the department opened an investigation into a threat on Federline's life nearly two months ago, but the case was closed due to insufficient evidence.

Happy Birthday, Cassandra Peterson

Better known, maybe, as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Age 56 today. Younger than Joey Heatherton.

Gator Update (Reattached Arm Edition)

12-foot gator bites off man's arm in Lake Moultrie; doctors try to reattach: "MONCKS CORNER — A 12-foot alligator bit off and swallowed a man’s arm this afternoon in Lake Moultrie.

Department of Natural Resource officers then shot the 600-pound gator and retrieved the Summerville man’s arm from its belly, DNR officers and witnesses said.

Doctors at the Medical University are trying to reattach the man’s arm."

Happy Birthday, Robert B. Parker!

The Writer's Almanac from American Public Media: "It's the birthday of Robert Brown Parker, (books by this author) born in Springfield, Massachusetts (1932). He created a private eye named Spenser who spends his free time making gourmet food, including 'buffalo tenderloin marinated in red wine and garlic served with fiddle head ferns, corn pudding, and red potatoes cooked with bay leaf,' and 'German sausages with green apples sliced dipped in flour and fried in the sausage fat. Served with coarse rye bread and wild strawberry jam.'

The newest Spenser mystery, entitled Now & Then, will come out this October (2007)."

U. S. Losing War on Illegal Underpants?

U.S. probes banned briefs found at Gitmo - Yahoo! News: "SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - Guards at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp found two prisoners sporting unauthorized underwear, and the U.S. military is investigating to determine how they got the contraband.

Both prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one also had on a Speedo bathing suit, items the military said were not issued by Guantanamo personnel or sent through the regular mail, according to a Defense Department letter obtained Friday by The Associated Press."

Mouthful of Bullets

The new issue is available on-line and in print. The print edition includes a lot more stories. The on-line edition is here.

You've Never Had this Editor, Right?

Thanks to William Dylan Powell for the link.

Round-Up Time in Texas

This was on the Western Channel this afternoon. I complained about the problems with 3:10 to Yuma, and then I watched this. Good grief. What can I tell you?

Let's start with the title. You'd think the movie was about Texas, right? And maybe a round-up. You poor fool. That shows how little you know. See, the deal is that Gene gets a telegram from his brother, Tex. Tex has discovered a diamond mine in South Africa and needs 50 horses. (I have no idea why.) Seems that he can't get any horses in Africa, or any place closer than Texas. (I have no idea why.) So Gene takes the horses to Africa, where the picture is set.

And speaking of "set," one of the many amazing things about this movie is that the African landscape looks exactly like the landscape of the west as seen in dozens of Republic westerns. If kids who saw this movie were confused in geography class, there's a good reason why.

We probably shouldn't even speak of racial stereotyping, other than to say that it's rampant. There's plenty here to offend just about everybody. I'm not talking about the singing, though. That's pretty good, and of course it includes the title song. Well, there is the scene where Frog (Smiley Burnette) teaches the native youngsters to sing and in which they set the world's record for learning English.

If you thought Phantom Empire was goofy, but you enjoyed it anyway, you should see this.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Now here's a headline I don't like to see.

United Press International - NewsTrack - Science - Infectious skin disease found in Texas: "DALLAS, 15 (UPI) -- Texas doctors have identified nine cases of the skin disease leishmaniasis in patients who have not traveled to endemic areas.

The infectious disease, sometimes called the Baghdad boil, is common in South America, Mexico and the Middle East, but the North Texas patients identified by doctors at University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center had not traveled to any of those areas."

King Kung Fu

Rick Klaw has posted the one-sheet and the trailer for King Kung Fu. It must be seen to be believed.

Femme Fatale

There's even more (including a photo) at the link.

Clay Woman Charged With Husband’s Poisoning Death - NewsChannel 9 WSYR: "Syracuse (WSYR-TV) - A Clay woman has been charged in the poisoning death of her husband and investigators say this may not be the first time.

The Onondaga County Sheriff’s Department says Stacey Castor, 40, has been charged with the 2nd degree murder for the death of David Castor, 48.

He died on August 22, 2005 and deputies have been investigating his death ever since. His death was originally ruled a suicide by ingesting ethylene glycol, which is found in anti-freeze, but detectives continued to investigate the death, eventually ruling it a homicide.

During that investigation, they learned Stacey Castor’s first husband, Michael Wallace, died January 11th, 2000. His death was originally ruled a heart attack.

As part of a joint investigation with the Cayuga County Sheriff’s department, Wallace’s body was exhumed on September 5th. The medical examiner determined the cause of death to be murder by ethylene glycol poisoning."

Ah, the Old Days

I found this 3-cent postcard offering 12 issues of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in a book I bought at a library sale.

3:10 TO YUMA

I didn't expect to get to the theater to see this remake, but when the opportunity arose, I grabbed it. It was great to see a western on the big screen again. The scenery's spectacular, and the acting's fine. Russell Crowe makes the bad man dangerously attractive, and Ben Foster is the definitive psycho sidekick. Christian Bale's their equal as the rancher who's determined to get Wade to the train on time.

But there are problems with the movie, mainly a bunch of lame, dumb stuff that I can't explain without revealing way too much. So if you haven't seen the movie, HEED THIS WARNING AND READ NO FARTHER.

Okay, for those of you who are still with me, here are some of the things I couldn't quite accept. Peter Fonda plays a bounty hunter who's shot by the bad guys. And let me tell you, there are a lot of bad guys. I don't know how many there are in Crowe's gang, but if they were part of the surge in Iraq, we'd win in a week. But I, as usual, digress. Fonda is shot. He's dragged for a long way on a couple of boards, then put on a horse and taken to town. He has a hole the size of a dinner plate in his stomach, and a veterinarian digs a bullet out of it. Ten minutes later, Fonda's on his feet, not even bleeding, and ready to ride out with the men guarding Crowe. Now that's one tough bounty hunter.

Bale, or Dan the Rancher, has a wooden leg. He clumps around a little in the early going, but at the end of the movie he's running like an Olympic sprinter. And not just on the ground. He's running on the roofs of buildings and jumping across the spaces between them like Jackie Chan.

Then there's the shortcut through Apache country. The guys taking Wade to the train have to take it, or so Dan says, so they do. The bad guys don't, and they get to town maybe an hour after Dan's bunch. Now that's what I call a lousy shortcut.

And the ending. Somebody's going to have to explain the ending to me. I don't get it at all. I just sat there thinking, "Huh?" I've seen a lot of movies, and I know there's only one way to get the bad guy to the station when you have evildoers all along the streets and on the rooftops. You put the little sawed-off up under his chin as tight as you can, and then you sidle outside where you inform the baddies that they can kill you, all right, but if they do, your last act will be to pull the trigger of that shotgun. Then you go on to the train, and you get on with the guy you're sending to Yuma prison. You don't shove him on board and then stand there like a doofus. But even if you do that, there's still no explaining the ending, not unless there was a lot more going on in those conversations between Bale and Crowe than I was getting.

I had fun at the movie. I enjoyed it. But I think they departed from Elmore Leonard's story by a few thousand miles. The story can't possibly have all that dumb stuff in it.

Headline of the Day

It's on Ananova, so you know it's true.

A Review of a Gold Medal Book

You can read it here. I've never read this one, but I have it on the shelf. You can bet I'll set it aside for later.

Fish Story

If you want to read a fish story and see a photo of me as a really young guy, click here.

Happy Birthday, Joey Heatherton!

I couldn't let the day get by without mentioning that Joey Heatherton's 63 today. She probably no longer looks like the picture, but she did when it mattered to me.

He's Looking for the Real Burglars

FOXNews.com - O.J. Simpson Questioned About Casino Break-In - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment: "O.J. Simpson was questioned Thursday night in connection with a break-in and theft involving sports memorabilia at a hotel room at the Palace Station casino in Las Vegas, police said.

Simpson allegedly broke into a room at the casino late Thursday night in connection with a burglary, TMZ.com reported, citing police sources.

Simpson was questioned and released and is believed to be in Las Vegas, police spokesman Jose Montoya told the Associated Press. Montoya said an investigation is ongoing.

'We don't believe he's going anywhere,' he said."

Teen Tragedy Song List

A list of songs from 1955-1969. Can you think of any that are missing?

Link via this Test Pattern article.

But Did They Floss?

Turns out Neanderthals had good oral hygiene | Reuters: "MADRID (Reuters) - Two molar teeth of around 63,400 years old show that Neanderthal predecessors of humans may have been dental hygiene fans, the Web site of newspaper El Pais reported on Tuesday.

The teeth have 'grooves formed by the passage of a pointed object, which confirms the use of a small stick for cleaning the mouth,' Paleontology Professor Juan Luis Asuarga told reporters, presenting an archaeological find in Madrid."

Li'l Abner

Sometimes, even in a house with thousands of books, I'm not sure what I'd like to read. So I pick up something old and familiar. When I was a kid, my favorite comic strip, hands down, was Li'l Abner, and the other night I decided to revisit the strip through a couple of paperbacks.

The book on the far left is a collection of popular episodes, including the one in which Li'l Abner finally marries Daisy Mae. (I followed his narrow escapes for years, and when I was a teenager, I was even invited to a couple of Sadie Hawkins' Day dances.) The book itself is a look at how the sad future of comic strips as it crams six panels onto one page, making them about the size they are now in the daily papers. Capp's panels are so crammed with detail that the reduction pretty much ruins them.

The stories are still amusing, and of course very unPC. They're timely, too. "Jack Jawbreaker" is about two guys who create a strip by that name and about how they're cheated out of pretty much everything. It'll remind you of Men of Tomorrow and A Killing in Comics.

The timely bit in The Life and Times of the Shmoo comes in this dialog between two captains of industry: "Psst! These poor ignorant wretches will be grateful to work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, for $7 a week. They've never heard of anything better -- And (chuckle) we'll never tell 'em!!" "Oh! You're a bright lad!! The Board may well give you a $500,000 bonus again this year!!"

The Shmoo book, by the way, is a nice example of how comics should be handled in paperback. Two panels per page, or one in the case of the bigger panels. The pages in this old Pocketbook are printed on acid-free paper, I guess. They're as clean and as bright as if they'd rolled off the presses yesterday.

The Shmoos were my favorite characters in Li'l Abner, among a gallery of wonderful characters: Moonbeam McSwine, Mysterious Yokum, Pappy and Mammy Yokum, Daisy Mae, Stupefyin' Jones, the Skraggs, Joe Btfsplk, and the list goes on and on. Great stuff, and if you don't believe me, well, read John Steinbeck's intro to the Li'l Abner book.

Larry Buchanan

Mexia, Texas: It's not just the hometown of Anna Nicole Smith.

Larry Buchanan: Larry Buchanan AKA Marcus Larry Seale, Jr. Born: 31-Jan-1923 Birthplace: Mexia, TX

FILMOGRAPHY AS DIRECTOR
Down On Us (1984)
The Loch Ness Horror (1981)
Mistress of the Apes (1981)
A Bullet for Pretty Boy (15-Jul-1970)
It's Alive! (1969) I
n the Year 2889 (1967)
Mars Needs Women (1967)
Zontar the Thing from Venus (1966)
The Eye Creatures (1965)

Ah, Treachery -- Ross Thomas

I've expressed my admiration for Ross Thomas so often that there's no need doing it again. But I will, anyway. He's one of my favorite writers of "thrillers" or whatever it is that he wrote. He did it as well as anybody ever did, or will, at least for me. Sadly, Ah, Treachery was the last book that Thomas ever wrote. Which leads me to this digression.

I long ago discovered that my idiosyncratic reading tastes weren't always shared by others. All I do here on the blog is tell you how I feel about things. You might disagree. Don't go out and spend your hard-earned dough for a book just because I liked it. You might find yourself thinking that I owe you, and we wouldn't want that.

Now back to our regularly scheduled review. Edd (Twodees) Partain assaulted a fellow officer in El Salvador, where they were part of an illegal operation that a couple of bad guys want to be completely forgotten. And where Partain's Salvadoran wife is "disappeared." Partain is working as a sort of bodyguard for Millicent Altford, who's discovered that $1.2 million in under-the-table campaign money has gone missing from her safe. The plot gets complicated after that. There's murder and conniving and, of course, treachery. Lots of treachery. Not to mention genuine wit and plenty of irony. Partain manages to figure everything out in the end, the way Thomas's heroes do, but there's never really a happy ending in a Thomas novel. An air of sadness hangs over everything, or it seems that way to me. I don't think I'll ever stop re-reading Thomas's books. I just wish he'd hung around longer and written a lot more of them.

Bill Crider, New York Times Bestselling Author

That's right, folks. I've made the bestseller list. Well, okay, technically speaking "I" haven't made the list, but Many Bloody Returns, the anthology in which I have a short story, is #30. So I think I can fairly put "New York Times Bestselling Author" on all my book covers from now on. Assuming there are any more book covers to come.

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

Colorful photo at link, thoughtfully provided by Jeff Meyerson.

Maggots are works of art at Oak Cliff school | Dallas Morning News | News for Dallas, Texas | Latest News: "They are the squirmy scavengers of the insect world.

But maggots morph into artistic instruments in Kim Schofield's elementary school classes. Ms. Schofield, an entomologist for the Texas Cooperative Extension in Dallas, brings live maggots to North Texas schools for a one-of-a-kind lesson that melds science and art.

Kids dip the maggots into nontoxic paint, plop them onto construction paper and watch the critters wiggle out abstract explosions of color on the page."

Persistence

Not long ago, I linked to Henry Melton's account of a Cape Buffalo calf's encounter with a croc. Henry's updated his post with video that you can watch here.

Gator Update (Always Call for Back-Up Edition)

Police Officers In Trouble After Wrestling Alligator - News Story - WESH Orlando: "ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, Fla. -- Two police officers were ordered to attend counseling sessions after wrestling an alligator at a Seminole County apartment complex.

The Altamonte Springs police officers may have taken unnecessary risks when they captured the reptile at Lotus Landing Apartments, officials said.

The officers captured the 8-foot alligator by themselves, and a police supervisor said they should have called for assistance."

Happy Birthday H. L. Mencken!

Too bad he's not around today. I'd like to hear what he'd have to say. You can read about him here if you're so inclined. Or read Connie Willis's very entertaining "Inside Job," instead. Part of it is here. The rest you'd have to find.

Hot Fuzz

Is it just me, or was this movie about half an hour too long?

The idea's this: Angel is a top London cop, so good that he makes the others look bad. Naturally he's transfered to a small English village where nothing ever happens. Or does it? There sure are a lot of accidents for such a small town.

Hot Fuzz is a parody of every buddy cop movie ever made, but the set-up's too long for me. Some of the jokes are funny, but I'm sure there are a hundred or two more in-joke references to other movies that I missed.

It was only the the other day that I complained about the drawn-out climactic scene in another movie. Well, that pales by comparison with the one here. Of course that's the point. You can't parody ever aspect of every climactic scene in every cop movie if you don't drag it out. But forty minutes?

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I've become a bitter old coot, sitting by the fire, wrapped in my shawl, and that I no long know what's funny. You're probably right, but I did laugh at this movie. Great cast, fine performances, some amusing stuff. But for me it worked only about half the time. So it must be true. My sense of humor has atrophied. Sad.

Giant Banana over Texas Update

The artist explains his plans here. The original post is here. And the photo gallery is here.

B-Notes

B-Notes bills itself as "a user's guide to dubious movies." A list of the movies that have been dissected, along with links, is here. One of my favorites is Mars Needs Women, and you can read all about it here. And I mean all about it. These are in-depth discussions, folks.

And Keep off His Damn Lawn

FOXNews.com - 74-Year-Old Fights Off Tire Iron-Wielding Attacker - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News: "A tire iron-wielding man who police said was looking to mug a senior citizen probably thought he had found an easy target — that is, until the 74-year-old fought back.

Bruce Ferraro had no idea someone was following him as he walked out of a department store at the South Shore Mall on Saturday and got into his car, police said. But then a man pounded on Ferraro's window and demanded cash.

'Ferraro says, 'What, are you kidding me?' and he actually gets out of the car,' said Det. Sgt. Thomas Groneman, of the Suffolk County Police Department.

The mugger demanded Ferraro hand over his wallet, calling the Bay Shore resident an 'old man' and threatening to hit him with the tire iron, Groneman said.

Instead, Ferraro grabbed the bar and the two fought, until the septaugenarian managed to snatch away the tire iron, police said."

Gator Update

Great article and photo at the link.

York Dispatch - York Fair's alligator show pulls in crowds for jaw-dropping fun: "As an 8-foot-long, 200-pound alligator rushed headlong toward her, climbed up a fence and opened his giant jaw in the air, Wanda Waltz reconsidered her front-row seat at the York Fair Sunday.

'I thought: 'If this thing gets a hold of me, I'm gone,'' said Waltz, of Manchester Township, who confessed that she almost jumped into a man's lap behind her to get away from the gator."

Nice Personal Tribute to Madeline L'Engle

A tribute to Madeline L'Engle | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "The last time I saw Madeleine L'Engle she was in bed recovering from a hip replacement, in her quintessential New York City apartment packed with books and paintings, overlooking the Hudson River. It was New Year's Eve, 2000.

Madeleine L'Engle Franklin was my high school creative writing teacher and the mother of my best friend, Josephine. Tall and dramatic, a mistress of the grand gesture, she would sweep into our classroom with a cape thrown over her shoulders. It was 1963, the same year her book A Wrinkle in Time, rejected by numerous publishers, received the Newbery Medal for Children's Literature.

Suddenly, my friend's mother was famous."

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

I like to think that if I won $49 million, I'd do something like this.

Restored Tee Pee Motel brings back a bygone era | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "WHARTON — A bit of American history — quirky and curious, but history nonetheless — huddles next to old Highway 59, past the tractor dealers and the rice mills, just before a green sign that proclaims Wharton's population of 9,237.

It's easy to miss. But it is there, just around the bend: a row of 10 freshly painted, sand-colored tepees.

The Tee Pee Motel, a throwback to the 1940s and '50s, is one of just a handful of tepee-themed lodges left in the country.

For years, however, Wharton's Tee Pee Motel was little more than eleven gutted shells engulfed by a tangle of overgrown weeds and a broken sign that once beckoned guests with neon lights and an image of an American Indian chief.

Then, a diesel mechanic named Bryon Woods won $49 million in the Texas lottery in July 2003."

Time Magazine -- 50 Worst Cars of All Time

I'm surprised I didn't own a single one of these models.

Gator Update (Pennsylvania Edition)

They're obviously all over PA. Note the Conservation Officer's name. Possibly a relative of mine.

This is no croc: Gator caught in creek -- themorningcall.com: "A pair of Wildlife Conservation officers demonstrated Florida-like trapping skills when they trapped a 4-foot long alligator Sunday afternoon in the Hokendauqua Creek.

District Wildlife Conservation officer Brad Kreider and his deputy, Tom Harrington, stalked the beast, grabbed it using catchpoles, taped its mouth shut and tossed it into a bear trap, Kreider said. He said they hauled the gator off to an animal holding pen back at their headquarters in Reading, but not before posing for photos with their new catch.

''We took it out with the catchpole and we could just hold it,'' Kreider said. ''We took a few pictures.''"

True Grit Days #2

Part of the festivities up in Ridgway is a tour of the locations where True Grit was filmed. My friend Fred Williams went on the tour yesterday and took a few photos. One is of the cabin where Mattie lived. Not too much left of it now. The other is of the meadow that John Wayne charged across, reins in teeth, after shouting, "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch." Look closely along the right edge of the tree line and you can see the rock where he fell after he was shot.

The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines

It's hard for me to resist a movie on this subject because when I was a kid I saw Stewart Granger and Deborah Kerr in King Solomon's Mines. Even seen the really, really awful rip-off with Richard Chamberlain didn't discourage me.

This sequel to The Librarian is several orders of magnitude better than Chamberlain's. That doesn't make it a great movie, but it's at least entertaining. Noah Wyle plays the librarian who works for Bob Newhart at an unusual library where you can find stuff like Excalibur other exotic items. This time he's off to stop the bad guys from getting their hands on a magical book that will allow them to bend time and space. Or something like that. Doesn't matter. It's just a McGuffin to allow Wyle and his co-star, Gabrielle Anwar, to have adventures and crack wise.

Some of the jokes are funny, some aren't. If you've read a few mysteries or seen a few movies, you're going to know every turn this one takes well before it makes them. The climactic scene, as is typical, was far too long and drawn out. Still, I enjoyed the movie. The co-stars are appealing, the scenery is pretty, and Bob Newhart is always fun. This had been sitting on the DVR for quite a while, and I'm glad I got around to seeing it. If there's a third in the series, I'll probably watch that one, too.

And Keep off Our Damn Lawns!

Thanks to Beth Foxwell for the link. (I have no idea why she thought of me.)

The Rise of the Alpha Geezer - washingtonpost.com: "There are no old people anymore. The word 'senior' is in disfavor; the folks at AARP often use the term 'grown-up' to refer to our most tenured citizens. (And it's not the American Association of Retired Persons anymore, either: The group decided that because most of its members weren't retired, it should be just AARP, standing for nothing at all.)

This sociological revolution has given rise to a new American icon: the frisky geezer. The frisky geezer is someone who never got the memo to stick to golf from here on out. Americans today live not only longer, but with more fire in the belly. Disability rates for people over 65 go down by more than 2 percent a year, according to a long-term national survey published in 2006. The culture of being older has fundamentally changed, says Robert Butler, president of the International Longevity Center-USA and a professor of geriatrics at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York. 'The atmosphere has become more robust in favor of older people remaining part of the human race,' says Butler, who is 80 and works 60 hours a week. 'They're no longer expected to go to the rocking chair and give up.'"

Emu Update

Looks like a case for Sheriff Dan Rhodes. Thanks to Art Scott for the link.

The Golf Channel - PGA, LPGA, Champions, European Tour, Nationwide, Canadian Tour &: "ELMA, Wash. -- Every golfer likes a birdie, even more so an eagle. But an emu?

The big bird that showed up Tuesday at Oaksridge Golf Course was another matter, at least for Sue McMeekin of Satsop and Les Bell of Montesano.

The flightless bird, second in size among avians to the ostrich, followed the pair for seven of their nine holes, watching each swing and sometimes walking between them or standing directly in front of them. The emu seemed to take special interest in McMeekin's red fleece jacket.

'It was strange,' McMeekin said. 'She's awful big and she made me nervous.'

Emus, natives of Australia, can grow to more than 5 feet and 100 pounds and are capable of running as fast as 30 mph."

Croc Update

Henry Melton, a writer friend, is in Africa with his wife Mary Ann, seeing the sights. Including crocs. Here he describes an encounter between a croc and a Cape Buffalo calf.