I've truly appreciated the comments from everyone, even though I haven't tried to answer them. I get a little teary just to think you care about me and Judy enough to say so.
I don't handle stress well. I slept maybe three hours last night. Maybe I'll do better when some of this sinks in on me a little more. Right now I'm still in shock, but I'm determined that Judy is going to get well. I guess I'm some kind of control freak, and it drives me nuts that I can't do something to make things right. Instantly. I feel as if that's my job.
To keep from going nuts, I'll be posting here, maybe rambling self-pitying stuff like this, but I hope more cheerful things, too.
Thanks to you all.
8 comments:
Bill - Keep the faith. Do what you think is best given the information you have at each decision and never, ever second guess yourself. That way lies MADNESS and even more sleepless nights. Sandi and I are behind you and will help in any way we can.
I'll be glad to hear from you whatever you care to say. That old group hug in the last episode of MTM applies now.
Good thinking, Bill. After all, if Paris can get through her ordeal so can you.
(Did you smile? I hope so.)
Self-pitying stuff is just fine, just as long we know you're still up and running. (Or something to that effect. I hope that's an appropriate phrase to use here.)
Bill, the impetus behind the standard blog is: all self-pity, all the time. You've rejected being standard for so long, no one here will balk if you post the occasional cri de coeur; we know you're not a slacker in pajamas, wailing because he can't afford both pizza AND reefer.
Keep the blog going. You need it for yourself. You need it for Judy. And you need it because it will bring you help and information. I started a blog when I got Hodgkins so I wouldn't have people call me up on the phone or email me and say, 'Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile, what's up?' And then have to tell them. I mean, it has a chilling effect on conversation.
Through that I learned about a message board for Hodgkins and Non-Hodgkins folk. I won't say it saved my life--Cleveland Clinic did that. But it helped me with questions, symptoms, nerves, you name it.
http://forums.webmagic.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?Cat=0&C=1
And from it I know M.D. Anderson is one of the best. When we moved to Austin, I kept thinking, 'It's okay. I'm leaving Cleveland Clinic, but M.D. Anderson is close enough to Austin I'm safe.'
And Jeff, I don't know you, but I think WWPD is my new motto. (What Would Paris Do?)
Bill,
I don't know what we would do without wall-climbing alligator stories and Bigfoot sightings. Your blog always provides a smile or two for the day.
Many more smiles in store for you and Judy, I know.
Ramble all you want. Me doing so seems to help much of the time during high stress times.
Best,
Jones
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