Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Weather Report

1. It is several degrees above freezing in Houston.

2. There is no sleet, snow, or freezing rain in Houston.

These weather conditions exist much to the chagrin of the smiling news teams who last night were in full panic mode. Entire local newscasts were devoted to the impending apocalypse. Had Castro died last night, or had the Iraqi insurgency surrendered and converted to the Southern Baptist faith, there just wouldn't have been time to report it. The weather was the news.

Most of the smiling news teams are bearing up well. Mainly because now they've decided that by God the apocalypse will come tonight.

I have my doubts.


Anonymous said...

You had the apocalypse too?!

In Dallas the weather forecasters predicted the end of Western Civilization on Friday, the apocalypse on Saturday, and a rip in the time-space continuum on Sunday which would result in the destruction of all life in the universe.

Instead, we got a lot of rain.

Unknown said...

Remember, although it's not apocalypse now, it's apocalypse tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

In San Antonio the temperature has been at freezing or below all day with regular rainfall - i.e. ice everywhere. Where people can drive on snow, driving on ice is strictly for fools and Yankees. We've got pleanty of each. So here, it's Apocalypto - a mishmash of languages and cultures just waiting to fall apart at the least likely moment.

Unknown said...

We're still ice-free in Alvin. Tomorrow might be a different story, but I think not. Houston, on the other hand, might get a little dicey.