BILL CRIDER'S POP CULTURE MAGAZINE
I've ordered you the complete three-shirt set, Bill. I understand that there is a back-order situation and that your shirts will be coming directly from the shops in Brazil. I've been informed they may be transported by donkey cart, due to fuel conservation laws recently enacted there. Expect the shirts in a few months, unless they are seized by some drug lord's troops while they are traveling through Mexico, in which case they will disappear or you will get a ransom note. One other warning, the shirts are packed in straw, and if the donkey gets hungry enough... Enjoy!
I can hardly wait. That donkey better not get hungry.