Saturday, October 03, 2009
They'd Only Just Begun
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
Alligator Man
He lost count long ago, but nuisance-alligator hunter Easton DeHart estimates he’s tangled with thousands of the reptiles since he made “fooling with gators” his full-time job.
Judging by the hundreds of severed, shellacked heads grinning from shelves in his trophy room, their glass eyes gleaming and toothy mouths gaping, it’s safe to assume he isn’t exaggerating."
Friday, October 02, 2009
Monkeying Around
In 'Frozen,' Larry Johnson, a former executive at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., writes that Williams' head, which had been severed and frozen for storage, was abused at the facility. Johnson claims a technician took baseball-like swings at Williams' frozen head with a monkey wrench."
Thanks to Walter Satterthwait for the link.
Happy Birthday to The Twilight Zone!
SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP): On a Friday night in October 1959, Americans began slipping into a dimension of imagination as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. They've really never returned.
"The Twilight Zone," first submitted for the public's approval by a reluctant CBS, has resonated with viewers from generation to generation with memorable stories carrying universal messages about society's ills and the human condition.
Here's the Plot of Your Next Lost Race Novel
The team have brought back hair samples and a piece of palm they hope will provide DNA evidence of the Orang Pendek - a creature sighted in the area since colonial times and reputed to be immensely powerful."
Hat tip to Fred Zackel.
Forgotten Books: THE ASSASSINATOR -- David Vowell
How forgotten is this book? Well, it was nominated for an Edgar® in 1976, and the last time I looked at the Edgar® database, the title was listed incorrectly (as The Assassination). It's a first-person police procedural in the Dragnet vein, about a serial killer. And it's 138 pages long. Now that's my kind of book.When I read this book back in the middle '70s, I was taken by the narrative voice, which reminded me a bit of Joe Friday, but not quite. Maybe it's time to mention that the only other book I have by David Vowell is Dragnet: 1968. I haven't read that one, but Vowell was also the writer on a number of the much-maligned '60s revival of Dragnet on TV.
Reading The Assassinator now, I find it disturbingly homophobic, something I didn't notice thirty-odd years ago, to my shame, I guess. I was still taken in by the voice, though. Imagine a book, even one as short as this, with almost no dialog. That's what you have here. It's a tough trick to pull of, but Vowell does it, and you almost don't even notice it. The procedural part's good, too, very Dragnet, as I said. Good book if you can get past the gay-bashing, and worth a read. It sure won't take you long.
Croc Update (Could Alcohol Have Been Involved? Edition)
According to Richmond cops, the man telephoned his family and told a story suggesting he had been kidnapped, forced to fight, got shot in the shoulder and then was dumped in water where he was attacked by crocodiles."
As If We Didn't Know
However hanging around with other men has the opposite affect – reducing the levels of both substances in the body."
Thursday, October 01, 2009
New Cross-Genre Fiction E-Zine
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
[. . . .]
Perry's office wouldn't elaborate on his relationship with Wheeler, a retired social worker listed as a member of Perry's 2006 re-election campaign steering committee."
Top 10 Great Movie Deaths
Link via Neatorama.
Harry Whittington Update
They Need to Hurry Up and Get This on the Market
The key is a protein that sends signals to kickstart stem cells which can repair muscles.
Now it is hoped that a muscle-boosting drug can be developed to slow the ageing process."
They Will Be too Busy to Worry about Their Lawns
The Moorabbin Glen Eira Leader reports as thousands of old-timers celebrate national Seniors Week, those who present their seniors’ discount card at some brothels and escort services can mark the occasion in an entirely different way."
Texas Led the Way until the Newt Changed His Mind
But when former House Speaker Newt Gingrich's conservative group named her an 'Entrepreneur of the Year,' she was thrilled by the opportunity to accept the award in Washington and speak about ways to help small businesses.
That all changed, however, when Gingrich realized that The Lodge was a topless bar, not some other business in Virginia. He rescinded Rizos' invitation to a private dinner and returned the $5,000 donation she made to his group, American Solutions for Winning the Future."
A Mafia Quiz
I missed one.
Gator Update (Movie Edition)
JournalOnline: If you want to see a movie depicting the destruction of Des Plaines, you'll have to wait a while longer.
Until then, perhaps a few clips from "Gator Gal", also known as "Alligator Monster", might whet your appetite.
[. . . .]The plot---if that's what you want to call it---of "Gator Gal" calls for the DNA of an alligator somehow being injected into a voluptuous woman who is miraculously transformed into a half alligator, half woman creature.
Wasn't that the plot of Alligator People?
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
Pasadena police say it's a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during happier times."
A Musical Based on a Carter Brown Novel
It’s Astounding: A Musical Revival from ‘Rocky Horror’ Creator - ArtsBeat Blog - NYTimes.com: "Variety is reporting that Mr. O’Brien is about to stage a British tour of his musical “The Stripper,” based on the Carter Brown pulp novel. Mr. Brown also wrote the book of the musical, about a policeman trying to solve a murder in California in 1961. (Given the title and Mr. O’Brien’s involvement, we’re guessing that fishnet stockings will somehow be involved.) The music is by Richard Hartley, who was a band member of the original “Rocky Horror Show” stage production and arranged music for the film. The tour, which starts on Aug. 29, will be followed by a new British tour of “Rocky Horror,” which begins in Wimbledon on Sept. 17."More here.
Original cast album and much more about the play here.
Somehow I missed the big news about this revival when it was announced, but I was reminded of it yesterday when I received the most recent mailing of DAPA-Em (the world's only apa devoted to crime and mystery fiction).
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
This Rarely Happens at School Fetes in Texas
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
They're mainly bogus, of course.
But Gov. Rick Perry, ever dedicated to helping the Texas economy, has come up with a program to allow Texans to do just that.
It's sort of a campaign version of Facebook meets Amway.
The Dallas Morning News called attention Tuesday to the program, which is described at hq.rickperry.org/about, a Perry campaign Web site.
Here is the deal.
• You sign up at the Perry Web site to obtain your own campaign Web page.
• You then get 11 of your friends, located anywhere in Texas, to commit to voting for Perry as part of your team and put their names on your page.
• You make sure your 11 friends get to the polls during the early voting period next spring. You call them, you cajole them and you drive them to the polls if necessary.
Once you do all those things, you get paid $20 for each friend you recruit."
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
But the city won't keep its police chief and two officers when the police department shuts down October 1.
'It's all about consolidation. What we're trying to do is run our community as efficiently as possible,' said Marfa mayor, Dan Dunlap.
According to the mayor, the city will save $90,000 a year by hiring the Presidio County Sheriff's Office to replace the local police department. The sheriff's office already patrols the rest of the rugged border city."
As you're all aware, the town of Clearview has always hired the Sheriff's Office in place of a local police department. Sheriff Rhodes is appreciative of the deal.
Wild Bunch Wednesday Short Story
Can I Just Get a Burger?
A Japanese woman receives an intravenous vitamin supplement at the Tenteki Caf�in Tokyo.
These intravenous vitamin 'drips' are part of the latest quick-fix, health fad catching on in Japan: the IV cafe.
Each drip pack contains saline solution and specific vitamins and minerals to target a particular health ailment or beauty concern."
Gator Update (Texas Edition)
Harvesting an alligator that's 20 times your size is a piece of cake, according to 5 year old Simon Hughes. 'Well, its pretty much simple,' said Simon who caught the alligator."
Photos and video at the link.
Gator Update (Duct Tape Edition)
Sheriff Dan Rhodes used this method in Murder in Four Parts.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Stephen King Update
Titled 'Haven,' the project centers on a spooky town in Maine where cursed folk live normal lives in exile. When those curses start returning, FBI agent Audrey Parker is brought in to keep those supernatural forces at bay -- while trying to unravel the mysteries of Haven."
Gene Hackman -- Author
I Knew I Left College Too Soon
Film and Media / Winter 2010 / Frank Burke
The 1950s Italian and American Sword-and Sandal Film. This course will explore"sword-and-sandal" films of the 1950s and early 1960s, focusing both on schlock Italian products such as the Steve Reeves Hercules films that enjoyed surprising economic success and the more "serious" Hollywood epics of the same period, many of which were shot in Italy. Neither the Hollywood nor the Italian versions would have been possible without the strong interpenetration of Hollywood and Italian film, practically and economically, during the 1950s. The focus will not be so much on the history of a genre as on the analysis of a significant moment in the postwar history of media and representation. The western world was, in the late 1950s, beginning to undergo the transformation in capitalism, media (with the emergence of television), and cultural signification that has now acquired the label "postmodernity." The sword-and-sandal epic in terms of both production modes and signification provides a great deal of insight into this transformation. In relation to the Italian films, we will also examine the "seriousness" of seemingly airhead cinema, exploring how mass entertainment, seemingly empty of serious intent or meaning, and intended only to reap profit can become, through its popularity and "timeliness," a bearer of major social meaning. Other issues to be discussed in relation to the sword and sandal film will be melodrama, spectacle vs. narrative, camp, and kitsch. Assignments will include group presentations, brief bi-weekly individual assignments on screenings and readings, a group Mystery Science Theatre 3000 overdub, and a 15-page final essay.Hat tip to Jeff Segal.
Uh-Oh
Crooked Little Vein -- Warren Ellis
I've read and reviewed several of Warren Ellis' graphic novels, so I thought I'd read his purely prose work. It's supposedly a p.i. novel, but it's really a road novel masquerading as a p.i. novel. Or maybe it's a p.i. novel masquerading as a road novel.Here's the deal: Self-proclaimed "shit magnet" Mike McGill is a down on his luck p.i. (is there any other kind?). Then the White House Chief of Staff shows up and pays him half a million bucks to find the Mcgugffin, which is a book that contains the real Constitution of the U. S. It's bound in the skin of an alien who pestered Ben Franklin and paid the price, and it's a document that could change the world as we know it. McGill hooks up with a young woman named Trix, and they travel to Columbus, San Antonio, Las Vegas, and finally Los Angeles in pursuit of the book.
Along the way Mike and Trix encounter enough warped characters, deviant sex, and just plain weirdness to fill a book. According to Ellis, it's all based on stuff he found in the Internet. Maybe that's true, or maybe not. One thing's for sure: There's something here to offend just about everybody. In fact, if you find Joe Lansdale too polite and restrained, maybe you should read this book. It's funny, and it moves right along, but if you're looking for a standard p.i. novel, you're looking in the wrong place.
Banned Books Week
It's Banned Books Week. The link above goes to an interactive map. You can see what titles were banned or challenged in the different locations.
Crank: High Voltage
This is the second of the Crank movies. When Jason Statham's eye popped open at the end of the first one after his long, long fall from a helicopter, you knew there'd be a sequel. And if you saw the first movie, you know what you'll get here except more of it. If you didn't see the first one, you're not in the target audience for this one, either. The first one was loud, fast, and out of control. This one is louder, faster, and even more out of control. By the end, I don't think anybody knew what it was about anymore, and certainly nobody cared.Okay, that's not fair. They knew, all right. It's about sex, nudity, and violence. Lots of all three. Mix 'em together, amp 'em up (joke intended), and you get this movie.
Of course, that's not all. No, there's more. There's also the sensitive Wizard of Oz subtext that us more astute critics noticed. What? You didn't see it. Well, that's what I'm here for. Someday people will be writing dissertations on how this movie is really about a caring but indestructible man who's looking for a heart. He has to follow the Yellow Brick Road, or what passes for it in Los Angeles to find it, but the Wizard (Dwight Yoakum) is there to help. There's no wicked witch, but there are plenty of obstacles. And there's David Carradine, in a role that's become something to talk about, I suppose, since his ignominious death.
Plot? Who cares? It's all action, and if that's what you're looking for, along with humor and the aforementioned sex, nudity, and violence, you'll find plenty of everything. This is a B-movie that knows it's a B-movie, and it just wants you to have a good time.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Lucy Vodden, R. I. P.
Hat tip to Scott Cupp.
Truckers Lead the Way
Like many truckers, Kurt Long uses a dispatching computer. “We’re supposed to pull over,” he said, “but nobody ever does.”
The trucking industry says these devices can be used safely, posing less of a distraction than BlackBerrys, iPhones and similar gadgets, and therefore should be exempted from legislation that would ban texting while driving."
Move Along, Citizen, Nothing to See Here
He said government officials claim the security cameras did not record the minutes before the bombing because 'they had run out of tape' or 'the tape was being replaced.'
'The interesting thing is they spring back on after 9:02,' he said. 'The absence of footage from these crucial time intervals is evidence that there is something there that the FBI doesn't want anybody to see.'
A spokesman for the FBI in Oklahoma City, Gary Johnson, declined to comment and referred inquiries about the tapes to FBI officials in Washington, who were not immediately available for comment Sunday."
Uh-Oh
Caiman Update (London Edition)
Police and animal control officers tried to corral the crocodile-like reptile yesterday, but it repeatedly eluded their grasp."
Ageist Swine
I'd Help Out, but it's Just too Far Away
Crocodylus Park, which operates as a zoo and commercial crocodile farm in Darwin, needs helpers to shift about 400 saltwater crocodiles into new ponds."
Sunday, September 27, 2009
William Safire, R. I. P.
All Righty, Then
I was going to call this "The Stilwell Workout," but I thought better of it.
Harlequin Retro!
Learned about this from a post by Dave Zeltserman on the Rara-Avis list. Harlequin is reprinting six of its titles from the long ago with the original covers. The books are also available on Amazon.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I Suppose the Drivers Believe that Gorillas Wear Sneaker and Run Upright
Drivers had alerted officers, who swooped on Rory Coleman, 45, by the A6 near Leicester during a 143-mile run for The Gorilla Organisation.
The personal trainer said: 'I told the police I'd come quietly as long as they gave me a banana.'"
The Youngest Templar: Keeper of the Grail -- Michael Spradlin
It's 1191. A young boy named Tristan, who has been brought up in a monastery and who has no idea who his parents were, is taken on as a squire by a Templar knight, and before long he's met King Richard and made a powerful enemy, one who seems to know the secret of Tristan's birth. Tristan isn't with the Templars long. Soon he's escaping Acre with the holiest relic of them all: the grail, which he has promised to take to England.It's a tough trip, but Tristan falls in with some entertaining companions, a skilled young archer named Robard Horde and a beautiful young Muslim assassin named Maryam. There's lots of action in this novel that's aimed at readers in about the fifth through the eighth grades. Lots of violence, too, and hair's-breadth escapes aplenty. The ending is a cliffhanger in the classic tradition.
While reading the book, I was reminded a little of a very old favorite of mine, Howard Pyle's Men of Iron. Great stuff.
I do have two complaints of the grouchy old English teacher sort. One is the hissing of the unhissable ("Hold him!" I hissed.) and the other is a sentence that the copy editor should have spotted ("After many hours in the saddle the sun moved lower in the western sky"). They certainly won't keep me from reading the second book in the series, The Youngest Templar: Trail of Fate, which should be out next month.
What If It Had Been a Doughnut?
"The Fanged Frogs" Would be a Good Name for a Rock Band
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
[. . . .]
They have since researched their legal options and decided that from now on, they might launch formal investigations into such posts, Acevedo said. He said investigators might seek search warrants or subpoenas from judges to learn the identities of the authors — he thinks some could be department employees — and possibly sue them for libel or file charges if investigators think a crime was committed."
Gator Update (Man's Best Friend Edition)
[. . . .]
Suddenly, the alligator surfaced and bit Blackwood, who was about three feet from the water's edge. The gator began to drag her toward the lake. Her dog took off running.
Blackwood's calf was in the gator's jaws when she reached back and stuck her thumb in its eye, Morse said. The gator released its grip and bit at her thumb, allowing her to run away."
Friday, September 25, 2009
What Would the Burj Dubai Look Like in Midtown Manhattan?
Photo at the link.
The Fly? Why?
National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims
Once Again, Texas Leads the Way
Austin police say Linda Dynell Rushing with took money from the wallet of Samuel Stewart, whose body was found July 27 in his apartment on Burton Drive in East Austin, according to an affidavit filed Thursday in Travis County District Court.
Rushing told a police detective she also took coins and pornographic movies from Stewart's apartment, according to the affidavit. She said she was reclaiming pornography she had sold to Stewart for $20 but for which she had not been paid, the affidavit said."
The Seventh Seal Has Been Opened
Universal Studios has acquired the rights to make a live-action movie about the iconic doll, to be produced by the Laurence Mark, the man behind 'Jerry Maguire' and 'Julie & Julia,' according to the Hollywood Reporter and The Associated Press. No word yet on casting."
Vanish in an Instant
'Simply put, [disappearing is] the reverse engineering of skip tracing,' says Ahearn, referring to the process by which you locate missing persons."
That's $10K More than I Paid for My First House
Dave Shapiro, a 33-year-old real-estate investor in Philadelphia, paid $30,000 for a Hollandia International adjustable bed that offers a built-in 32-inch Sony flat-screen TV, surround-sound speakers and outlets for laptops. 'The best thing is the TV,' he says. 'You don't have to get up.'"
More Good News for the Ice Pirates
Forgotten Books: The Augustus Mandrell Series



The three books about master of disguise and assassin for hire Augustus Mandrell make up one of my very favorite series.
You want clever plotting? You'll never find better than in these books, each one of which is made up of four "commissions," all of which take place around the time of WWII (The Big One). The commissions aren't published in linear order. They jump back and forth in time, and they're all interconnected. This is one series that should definitely be read in order if you want to appreciate what a great job McAuliffe did. The plotting within each story is a marvel, but when you read all of them, you'll be in awe. Okay, maybe you won't, but I am.
In fact, the plotting would be enough to recommend these books, but they're also hilariously funny. When I bought Of all the Bloody Cheek way back there in 1965, I had no idea what I was getting. It was a wonderful surprise to read the commissions and marvel and laugh aloud. I eagerly awaited other books by McAuliffe, but it was three years before Rather a Vicious Gentleman appeared, and three more years before I got to read For Murder I Charge More. And that was it. As far as I knew, there were no more Mandrell stories to read.
I was wrong, however. There's a fourth book. I've read it. Supposedly it will be published one of these days. That's been the case for years now, so I'm not counting on it. It would be great if it happened. Maybe it will, since Point Blank did reprint Of all the Bloody Cheek.
I'm not alone in my admiration for this series. Check out this website, for a more detailed overview than I've given. It's a real shame that this series is forgotten. It's one of the greats.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I Thought the Lattes Cost that Much Anywhere
The five were charged Wednesday with prostitution. Charging money for that kind of touching falls under the city's definition of prostitution.
The Everett Herald reports the women were charging up to $80 to strip down while fixing lattes and mochas."
Hat tip to Vince Keenan, who claims he's not a coffee-drinker.
I Once Found an Arrowhead
Experts say the collection of 1,500 gold and silver pieces, which may date to the 7th Century, is unparalleled in size and worth 'a seven figure sum'.
It has been declared treasure by South Staffordshire coroner Andrew Haigh, meaning it belongs to the Crown.
Terry Herbert, who found it on farmland using a metal detector, said it 'was what metal detectorists dream of'.
It may take more than a year for it to be valued."
First it Was Drug Dealers; Now It's Chop Shops
Cracking Down on Pick Flickers
Dr Pepper Update
It's been that way since 1891, when Dublin Bottling Works became the world's first bottler of soda pop and the first to distribute the fruit- and berry-flavored carbonated drink that had debuted six years earlier at Wade Morrison's Old Corner Drug Store in downtown Waco, about 80 miles to the east."
Hat tip to Scott Cupp.
I've plugged Dublin Dr Pepper in the Sheriff Rhodes novels several times. You'd think they'd send me a free case, but nooooooooo.
Inherent Vice -- Thomas Pynchon
I've read three other Pynchon novels, but nothing since the publication of Gravity's Rainbow, well over 30 years ago. I don't know why. I liked V. a lot, and I also liked The Crying of Lot 49 and Rainbow. I always intended to read something else, but I just didn't. Now along comes Inherent Vice, a private-eye novel. I figured that was a sign of some kind, so I read it.What is it with Pynchon and the letter V? I'll bet someone's already written a doctoral dissertation on the topic. Anyway, there's V. and then there's Gravity's Rainbow, which is, of course about the V-2 rocket and is therefore V-2. Then comes Vineland, which we'll call V-3. Now we get this new one, which, well, look at the initials. It's IV. I'm sure there's something in all this. But I don't know what.
Now about the book itself. The setting is around 1970. The '60s are still with us but winding down. I think that's probably the theme of the book. The times they are a-changin'. And not for the better. I wasn't too worried about historical details, but they sound right. Certainly the feel of the book is perfect. I wasn't in California at the time, but I was in Austin. Close enough.
And the book is funny, the funniest I've read in a long time. There's a laugh or two on every page, and that alone makes it worth reading. You also get the usual goofy Pynchon character names, which always make me smile. One woman is named Trillium Fortnight, which I think would have been perfect in a James Bond novel.
As for the plot, well, I can't summarize it. The word byzantine comes to mind. Doc Sportello, the stoner p.i. and center of consciousness of the story, is hired to find Mickey Wolfmann, a developer who's gone missing. Then he's hired for three or four other jobs, all of which are connected and all of which lead to the Golden Fang organization, which leads to government hitmen and conspiracies galore. Somehow Doc sorts all this out and ties it all up in the end. I think. I had to read V. twice, and I'll probably have to read this one again, too. But if it's not all clear the first time, it's still fun. I think I can safely promise you that you won't be reading another p.i. novel like this one for a long time.
Update: I forgot to mention that Pynchon should have put together a soundtrack CD for the novel. He's got more song references than you can shake a stick at. And of course he includes lyrics to his own songs as well.
Can the Ice Pirated be Far Behind?
Yet Another Re-Imagining, I Suppose
Various studio executives connected to the re-make of the classic film, which starred Audrey Hepburn and Rex Harrison, have said that Keira, Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson are the main possibilities to play Eliza Doolittle.
However, Cameron Mackintosh, one of the film’s main producers with Duncan Kenworthy, let it be known that there are two contenders and they happen to be Keira — and Scarlett."
Here's the Plot of Your Next Novel
They have a neat, if compact kitchen, a furnished living area, and a bedroom complete with double bed, wardrobe and bookshelf featuring a wide selection including a Frank Sinatra biography and Spanish phrase book.
And they make their money in some of the biggest casinos in the world.
But their life is far from the ordinary.
Because, along with hundreds of others, the couple are part of a secret community living in the dark and dirty underground flood tunnels below the famous strip."
25 Best Book to Film Adaptations
No Signal!
The video at the link includes 66 clips.
The 20 Best Cartoons Of The 90's
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Gator Update -- Paging Benny Profane
Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue crews and a state trapper were called to the Palm Club apartment on Second Avenue North after some children saw the gator rearing its head through the grate."
Spotted Richard Update
Canteen staff at Flintshire council had decided it would be referred to as 'Spotted Richard' on their menu after 'immature comments' by some customers."
You've Probably Been Wondering What They'd Re-Imagine Next
And You'd Better Keep off His Lawn!
But as CBS 2 HD found out, the feisty 88-year-old fought back and stopped the thieves from taking his property.
[. . . .]
'The guy pushed me; I gave him a sock … a good sock and he stood there and looked at me. I said you're gonna get some more if you don't drop that safe.'"
Croc Update (Mafia Edition)
He Should've Checked with the Blues Brothers
Have You Bought Yours?

Dragnet rates a U.S. postal stamp - TV Squad: "How many people remember Dragnet? Or maybe I should say how many people remember actually watching Dragnet, the 'just the facts' police show starring the iconic Jack Webb? The reason I ask is because the U.S. Postal Service is immortalizing Dragnet with a postage stamp . . . ."
Hat tip to Art "Dragnet" Scott, who also provides this link.
When Roosters are Banned, . . .
LA passes law limiting roosters to 1 per household: "The chickens have come home to roost for Los Angeles city dwellers who keep roosters.
The City Council on Tuesday passed an ordinance that—with few exceptions—allows only one rooster per property. It was spurred by complaints over noise and hygiene and concerns over illegal cockfighting."