Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Fast Five

Fast Five, in case you don't know, stars both Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson, the artist formerly known as The Rock. After Judy and I watched this movie, I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning testosterone residue out of the DVD player and off the TV screen. It was worth it, though, because this movie has everything you could possibly want except gratuitous nudity.

Let's start with the script. It makes absolutely no sense at all. But who cares, right? Does anybody actually watch a movie like this because of the script? Of course not. You watch if for fast cars, explosions, lots of shooting, goofy stunts, and guys who stand around and bulge their muscles at each other. And that's what you get.

Now, about those stunts. Does anybody watch a movie like this for realistic action sequences. Of course not. You watch it for stuff that clearly impossible anywhere outside of the imagination of a screenwriter desperate to come up with something even more preposterous than he did the last time he wrote an action movie. Stuff you can laugh at rather than believe in. And that's what you get.

As for acting, we already know nobody watches movies like this for the acting. If they did, Laurence Olivier might have become an action star. What you want is snappy patter in something more or less resembling English. And that's what you get, except for the snappy patter in something more or less resembling other languages.

Bromance? You got it. Romance? A little. Happy ending (except for the guy with the "I Am Going to Get Killed" sign hanging around his neck)? You got it.

In other words, highly recommended.


Gerard said...

Ha! I feel redeemed for wanting to see this.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'd want some kind of coherent plot...

James Reasoner said...

I loved it. I love all the Fast and Furious movies. After thinking about it, I even love TOKYO DRIFT. I know, I'm hopeless.