Thursday, October 16, 2008

At the Airport

Okay, here's what happened when a friend of mine took a trip recently. Things were going swimmingly until he got to the security line. Just as he was about to reach into his pocket and remove his change, he realized that he was carrying more than change. He was carrying his pocket knife. Now my friend really likes that knife, but he knew his clear duty was to tell the screener that he had it in his pocket. If he did that, however, the screener would take the knife, and my friend would never see it again.

What to do, what to do? If he tried to sneak the knife through security and got caught, he'd lose the knife and probably be put through a cavity search and all kinds of indignities. The knife isn't giant-sized, but it's sharp, and it can do a lot more damage to someone than, say, a box cutter. My friend considered this. He didn't want to be sent to Gitmo and waterboarded.

But he really likes that knife, so he decided to go for it. He dumped his change in the little bowl, put his jacket, shoes, and laptop in the plastic tray and headed for the metal detector.

And waltzed right through. Nary a peep. He and his knife were together as they boarded the plane and as they got off at their destination. When he got to the hotel, he put the knife in his shaving kit, which would be in the big bag that was checked through on the return trip. He didn't want to take any chances.

Don't you feel safer now that a billion-dollar government agency is protecting you? My friend's not so sure he does.


Anonymous said...

C'mon, Bill, admit it. We all know "my friend" is you.

Jeff M.

Unknown said...

I admit nothing. I don't want to get on any lists.

Todd Mason said...

Harry Shearer's LE SHOW has a recurring irregular segment of Tales of Airport Security. They are similarly inspiring.

Cap'n Bob said...

I did the same, although inadvertently, with a folding knife that was all metal and had four pieces (blade, screwdriver, can opener, and awl). But the grommets on my shoes that the laces go through set off a detector in another airport on another trip.

Brent McKee said...

I haven't flown in years but knowing what the security was like even before the WTC, I made sure to put my loose change in a baggie for when I went through security - and got dinged each way because I was carrying a BIC pen which is all plastic except the tip of the nib.

Anonymous said...

I would have hurried to mail it back to myself. I adore my pocket knives.