Joe Queenan Makes a Good Point

Mitts in the air, pal ... | Features | Guardian Unlimited Film: "[Sterling[ Hayden is the kind of actor who does not exist any more: dangerous but seductive, grizzled but glamorous, tough but tender. In short: not Orlando Bloom. Like his granite-jawed contemporary, Robert Ryan, Hayden evokes a bygone era when men with doxies named Blanche LaRue kept puffing on their stogies even when they'd just taken a .38 slug to the solar plexus. The closest thing we have to Hayden today is Russell Crowe, who is about 28 inches shorter, or Clive Owen, who seems a bit too cerebral to pass as a thug. It is telling that when Americans start casting about for an actor who resembles the charismatic tough guys of the 1940s and 50s, they must look to the Commonwealth. Leonardo won't do. Matt Damon won't do. Mark Wahlberg won't do. Johnny Depp is too sweet, Val Kilmer too weird. Only Sean Penn is in the ballpark. But Sean Penn is not a looker."