Monday, April 18, 2005

Roger Ebert Meets the Emperor of the Universe

:: :: answerman: "Q. In your 'Sahara' review, you refer to Bob & Ray's 'Blake Dent, Boy Spotwelder.' Bob & Ray fans near & far are, I'm sure, letting you know that it's 'Matt Neffer, Boy Spotwelder' ('Over here behind the duck press, Todd.'). With hundreds of hours of B&R indelibly etched in my brain, I cannot recall a Blake Dent in any context.

Art Scott, Livermore, Calif.

A. You are absolutely correct and win a year's supply of Parker House rolls with rich creamery butter from nearby farms. I was delighted to learn that virtually the entire Bob & Ray archive is available at Not many people know that when you solve the Da Vinci Code, that's where it leads you, right there to the archive's friendly front parlor, where on a good day you might meet Kent Lyle Birdley, Wally Ballou, Charles the Poet, Dean Archer Armstead and Mary Backstayge.

Just the other day I dropped in and overheard a scintillating conversation:

'Golly gee whillikers, Mr. Science! What's that long brown object?!?'

'That's known as a board, Jimmy.'"

Those of us "in the know" refer to Art Scott as The Emperor of the Universe. I'd tell you why, but then I'd have to cut your tongue out. And if you can write, I'd have to chop your fingers off. Our humane belief system doesn't permit us to kill anyone, however. At any rate, the EOTU (or, if you know him well enough, The Emp) is quite the Bob & Ray expert, as Roger Ebert has discovered. And now you know it, too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Emp, here. Thanks for the tip alerting me that I made it to Ebert's Answer Man (several prior queries to Rog didn't make the cut). Am mainly pleased that gets a plug on such a widely read forum.