Owing to circumstances beyond my control, I wasn't able to get to Black Snake Moan this afternoon. So I asked myself, "What absolutely nutty and moronic movie could I watch instead?" Crank was the answer. Here's the deal: Chelios (Jason Statham) has been injected with some kind of Chinese poison. Adrenalin can combat the poison, so Chelios will die if he doesn't keep moving and keep stimulated. Speed meets D.O.A. Anyway, Chelios starts moving.
Kinetic is the word for the movie. You'd have to see it to get my meaning, but, trust me, it never slows down. It's nonstop maiming, killing, exploding, running, jumping, injecting, snorting, fucking, fighting, shooting, biting, and kicking. And falling, mustn't forget falling. My favorite stimulation scenes involved Amy Smart. She doesn't have much of a role, but she makes the most of it.
If you're the kind of person who watches a movie and says at some point or other, "But that seems somewhat implausible," then you'd better not watch this one. But if you need an hour and a half of burn-down-the-house action, I highly recommend that you check it out.
