Saturday, October 01, 2005

"No Class Chick" -- J. J. Solari

Last December I did a post on a short story called "No Class Chick" from Easyriders magazine. The story is by J. J. Solari.

Today the following comment was added to that post: "I just read the three comments about me regarding the story I wrote, 'No Class Chick.' Tell these three people I'm gonna be publishing a book of previously unpublished stories pretty soon. Sure, 'No Class Chick' was funny. But I hadda sidestep a lotta shit. Now I don't. Oh and also I'm a lot funnier now."

I'm sure a lot more than three people will be looking forward to the publication of that book.

33 comments:

  1. Tim Powers1:01 PM

    "No Class Chick" is a story I'll remember long after I've forgotten who Hemingway or Faulkner were. And "Bike Telethon" and "The Pasadena Run" and "It's A Miracle" are all pretty memorable too! I'd love a collection of Solari's stories!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If one shows up, I'll be sure to post about it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3:31 AM

    Great story! That was back in the day when Easyriders was a real biker mag, and not a bunch of whores for yuppie money! I miss Spider and Miraculous Mutha. And I damn sure miss the fine wordsmithing of J.J. Solari. A little trivia for ya. It's my understanding that J.J. was one of the original Mouseketeers. Also, he played a hitchhiker in the great cult film "Two Lane Blacktop", with James Taylor, Dennis Wilson, and Warren Oates. When J.J. publishes his book, I hope he'll give us a heads up so I can rush out and cop.

    Panheads Rule,
    Doc.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I want to know when the book comes out, too. And now I want to know if J.J. was one of the Mouseketeers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:07 PM

    Yo Bill,
    It's true, J.J. Solari was an original Mouseketeer. Go here: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=13847&item=6608708873 , and scroll down to the description of the script, in about the sixth paragraph you'll see J.J.'s name listed. If you use Google, put j. j. solari in the search window and hit the "highlite tool".

    (This makes "No Class Chick" even better as far as I'm concerned!)

    Ain't that America,
    Doc.

    ReplyDelete
  6. jj solari1:54 AM

    i been readin' again the whopping three maybe four comments since my last remarks here and of course this is all very thrilling. I am shooting for a fan base of ten. the book is done, the illustrations are done and now it has to jump through ten million government hoops so that everyone will be safe from harm and then i will print ten copies because I am totally optimistic I can with effort sell that many. i have read a lot of funny books. every funny book ever written. and this one will be the funniest. which is not too hard because so far all the funny books have not been very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well, I'll buy a copy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gerard9:30 AM

    I'll order a copy if you get it stocked at Baker and Taylor.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:29 AM

    "No Class Chick" is legendary, one of the few stories from back then I can remember. One post here said they posted it. Somebody please send me a copy. I've been searching for one since my original was lost 25 years ago. flatheadrider@sbcglobal.net

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12:29 AM

    "No Class Chick" is legendary, one of the few stories from back then I can remember. One post here said they posted it. Somebody please send me a copy. I've been searching for one since my original was lost 25 years ago. flatheadrider@sbcglobal.net

    ReplyDelete
  11. Unfortunately, nobody posted the actual story. It's reprinted in a book, possibly some "best of" from the magazine.

    ReplyDelete
  12. jj solari2:16 PM

    hey flatheadrider. no class chick was reprinted in biker issue 119, august 1994.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I want to see "Woman's Greatest Worry" again...that was something else...a beach full of slit open walrus stomachs indeed...

    ReplyDelete
  14. i cant believe that after all these years, with my comments comprisin' half of 'em that there's still only 14 comments. 15 counting this one. i expected two dozen by now.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well, here's another one. Gotta get that collection out there!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I liked "No Class Chick" pretty well, but my favorite jj solari story was the one where the biker makes a caravan out of a yuppie's furniture, some antenna wire and a bunch of shopping cart wheels and tows the whole shiteree to Bakersfield. I can't remember the name of the story, and my Easyrider mags and best biker fiction books are all history, but I would sure like to read that one again.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Me, too. Bring on the collection!

    ReplyDelete
  18. jj solari2:42 AM

    to the fellow that wuz musin' about the biker story about the haulin' of furniture to bakersfield it was in Easyriders issue 74 comemorating the harley "74" called cleverly enough "Only A 74". Brilliance certainly struck that day when I thought of that title. jj solari

    ReplyDelete
  19. J.J. - Your writing influences my life on a daily basis. Thanx to the stack of old magazines next to my throne.
    I have no pity on those who have lost their copies. Please give us more precious words to live by.
    We mortals sorely miss Your Words. Heathern..........

    ReplyDelete
  20. jj solari8:25 PM

    Well, that piece of crap I wuz promisin' ta produce got produced. It's called When Bikers Meet Humans and it's subtitled socially unredeeming tales of species in collision. It's supposed ta be funny. I hope it is. To somebody other than me. On the other hand, if I like it I don't really give a rat's crap if anybody else likes it or not. But, hey, that's just my wonderful, wacky, huggellywuggellyy way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Man, is that really you J.J.? I was one of your biggest fans. No Class Chick was a definite "Never Forget That One" story. Another one was when the club took over a TV station and staged their own telethon against "The World's Number One Killer: Death". HAHAHA Also, when the club went on a whale-watching cruise, then suddenly took over the tour boat and turned it into a whale hunt. Whatafuckinhoot!

    Man I remember stealing Easyriders #1 edition from the Park 'n' Shop in Chamblee, Georgia. Was hooked for a long time (until they turned into a yuppie rag). The last copy I looked at was the first one to have a black chick in Fox Hunt.

    I even had a subscription in prison, back in the early-to-mid eighties. Got myself a spot in the Mail Call section, in '86. I can't recall the month right offhand If I wasn't too stoned to get up, I have it stashed around here somewhere, in all its tattered, dog-eared glory. I think it was the August issue. You know, the one with the picture of a chick and a motorcycle on the cover...LOL The last line of my blurb is, "I'm thirty years old and still have my own teeth." hehehe

    Anyhow, Bro, you were my favorite short-story teller, and I don't mean just in Easyriders. I mean my favorite, period.

    CapnPegleg

    ReplyDelete
  22. jj solari12:00 PM

    talk's cheap, pegleg. where's yer check.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi All and JJS,

    I bought the book "when bikers meet humans" from William Hayes on EBay.com

    Get going and let Keith R Ball post it in his Store at Bikernet.com

    I will be expecting to get in the mail JJ Solari's signed First Edition - and that "signed" part closed the deal for me.

    Well what - never heard of a Biker Nerd ? Yup that's me.

    Thanks and Regards,
    Ujjwal Dey
    Bomb-aye, India.

    http://www.ujjwaldey.com/

    http://hotaircoldlove.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous10:58 PM

    The smell of her flesh burning on the tailpipes. There she "stood" in the end on the pooltable. A story I will never forget. I just Googled the title to see what came up... so here be my post.
    Budman

    ReplyDelete
  25. Where's my check? Well, now that I know your book has been published, you'll be gettin' it soon! I hope it's got pictures of nekkid wimmen in it. I'm tired of jerkin' off to your old pal Annette FunnyJello's beach movies!

    Now, ya'll pull yer checkbooks out and go to georginasworld dot com for a copy of MY ol' pal Georgina Spelvin's new autobiography, The Devil Made Me Do It.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hey J.J., it's KJ, one of Wino Joe's (Zacknich) old associates from when a bunch of us were all living down in Carmel Valley. Yeah, "No Class Chick" is timeless, but for me, sick f**k that I am, "The Recruiter" still stands out, what a marvelous way to spread the joy of clandestinely giving away puppies & giving yourself a little chuckle at the same time. I still love to relate that story around run campfires when there are a bunch of newbes about, well that & your marvelously instructive piece on all the uses of "Slime".

    I miss running into you every now & then & I'll pick up the new book as soon as I can find some unassuming f**k to knock over & take their wallet. Thanks brother for helping to make me the asocial paragon of bikerdom that I am today.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  28. amy irene white12:55 AM

    Jj Solari and I became aquainted when he wound up with a copy of my book, and we became friends through a social networking site at the advice of mutual friend, the bald headed guru of biker culture, the amazing Bill Hayes. Jj complimented my writing with the most wonderful words... I immediately was blown away by his vernacular. I'm a 11 year veteran freelance journalist for Easyriders and her sisters,a veteran to my generation,at least.. a fetus compared to you guys... Upon finding out who Jj actually is, I asked him for a quote for my book... He sent me "She writes like a f-cking Zeus." He also sent me a copy of HIS book, Bikers versus Humans. I do not have words to express how humbled I was when I realized what an amazing artist of words had complimenting me. It was like Elvis sayin' you have a beautiful voice. I laughed until tears ran down my face from the beginning to the end... And the hilarious prose was written with such fantastic imagery.. Wicked metaphors... Unbelievable skill. Jj is hands down the shakespeare of the biker world. Yes... He was a mousketeer... Which is pretty freakin' cool in its own right. But its barely a fart in a tornado when describing the life of this living legend. We have since become very close friends, and I am shamelessly addicted to and amazed daily by the neverending humor, audacity, and intelligence that he pours out as easily as yesterday's dishwater. He doesn't simply write words... He grabs them, slams them on the ground, and commands them to become prose from the gods at the snapping of his fingers. He's maybe the most interesting character in all of bikerdom.. And that's sayin' a lot... Much love and respect from one of his 'no class chicks'...... Author Amy Irene White, the Wicked Bitch

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hey, I am looking for a copy of that particular Easyriders... Do you happen to know which issue, and year No Class Chick is in?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I have no idea which issue it's in. I found it in a paperback collection of stories from the magazine.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Is that "when Bikers meet Humans"? The reason I am looking is that today at brunch with my father-in-law, he was telling us about this story from Easyriders. He had received it as a gift while he was in hospital with both crushed legs. (Car fell on him) while reading said story, he was laughing so hard, the nurses came and took it from him. Thought he'd enjoy a copy of it again.

    ReplyDelete
  32. No, it was from a collection by a bunch of different writers for the magazine. I believe it was Best Biker Fiction from Easyriders #2, which sells for outrageous prices now on the Internet.

    ReplyDelete