Rilke on Black -- Ken Bruen

I've read almost all of Ken Bruen's crime novels now, so I'm rationing the last two or three. Rilke on Black is pure hardboiled noir, a sort of Gold Medal novel for the 21st century, even though it was written way back in the 20th. Nick, a nightclub bouncer, gets mixed up not only with the wrong woman but with the wrong guy. Not that Nick is any prize, himself. The three of them kidnap a wealthy businessman, and (surprise, surprise) things go wrong. But not all of them are the kinds of things you expect, and when they really start rolling downhill there are plenty of genuine surprises in store. Violent, poetic, and funny. Check it out.

But Enough about Me

Taking a break over on the photoblog, I've temporarily dispensed with the photos of me and my family and posted a few covers of old SF digests.

Speaking of Bad Movies. . .

. . . my wife is in the other room watching (I'm not making this up) Ishtar for the (I'm not making this up, either) third or fourth time. She loves that movie. I don't know that this proves. I try not to think about it.

The Moviegoer

Lee Goldberg had a blog post the other day about how bad the summer movies are, and Jim Winter complains about the prices. Ray Banks takes them gently to task.

As for me, I can only quote one of my favorite novels, Walker Percy's The Moviegoer. Here's what the narrator, Binx Bolling, has to say: "Our neighborhood theater in Gentilly has permanent lettering in front of the marquee reading: Where Happiness Costs so Little. The fact is I am quite happy in a movie. Even a bad movie."

Me, too.

Houston Crime Lab Problems

Home * Office of the Independent Investigator for the Houston Police Department Crime Laboratory and Property Room: "The Office of the Independent Investigator issued the Third Report of the Independent Investigator for the Houston Police Department Crime Laboratory and Property Room"

The next time you're watching CSI and think how cool it is, you might want to remember the troubles of the Houston Crime Lab. Incompetence, lack of supervision, lack of funding, you name it. With devastating results. The third report of the independent investigator is 83 pages long in PDF format. Well worth your time if you care about that sort of thing.

Now We Know Why They Call Him "Mr. Fantastic."

IOAN GRUFFUDD - GRUFFUDDS SHRINKING PENIS

Film-makers had to shrink IOAN GRUFFUDD's genitals for the new FANTASTIC FOUR movie - so he wouldn't alarm young cinema-goers.

The Welsh actor plays MR FANTASTIC in the summer blockbuster, and found the character's lycra outfit a little too revealing.

He explains, "I started out wearing a codpiece under the suit.

"Then memos started arriving from the studio that we needed to make it smaller and smaller until I was like Action Man."

More Pics

My photoblog has been updated. More pics from my sordid past, including at least one featuring the infamous Birth Control Glasses.

Today's Tasteful (no pun intended) New Product

Description

As they say on the 'net, Not Safe for Work.

What? There aren't any alligators in the sewers?

Are these college oral-sex parties for real?: "Many say rainbow parties are just a new urban legend - suburban, actually - not much more trustworthy than the old stories about alligators in the sewer."

Voodoo, Ltd. -- Ross Thomas

Sometimes I wonder why I don't just re-read Ross Thomas over and over, the way some people (you know who you are) re-read Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe series. For me, Thomas is The Master.

In Voodoo, Ltd. Artie Wu and Quincy Durant are back, along with their great supporting cast: Otherguy Overby, Booth Stallings, and Georgia Blue. This time they're working a blackmail case involving a beautiful movie star who's pretty sure didn't kill a man named Billy Rice. Her lawyer hires a couple of kinky British hypnotists to help her remember, and they disappear with the tapes they've made of their sessions with her. As usual with Thomas, things get really complicated after that. Everybody has ulterior motives (even the good guys), nobody's telling everybody everything, and the bodies start to pile up. Smooth, stylish, plenty of action, lots of great dialogue, what more could you ask for? Every time I re-read a book by Thomas I wonder why I've wasted my time reading some big bestseller when I could just pick up something like Voodoo, Ltd. and read it again.

I'm on Her Side

local6.com - News - Woman Who Won Topless Court Fight Plans To Bare Breasts Again: "DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- A woman who won a court fight over her right to bare her breasts in public plans to protest topless on Saturday at a city auditorium.

Liz Book has said it is unfair that only men are allowed to go topless in public places and that women are fined for flashing their breasts at events like Bike Week.

Elizabeth Book planned to stage the protest at the Peabody Auditorium next to three statues of women nude from the waist up."

Moonlight Graham

ESPN.com - MLB - 100 years ago, Doc moonlighted as baseball player: "NEW YORK -- Even a century later, there's still a mystique in the ol' Moonlight.

Archibald Wright Graham only played one game in the big leagues, and it was a glimmer at best. He never got to bat, and was simply a defensive replacement in right field.

'Field of Dreams' thrust Moonlight Graham into the cultural consciousness.

'Two glorious innings in the garden,' the New York Evening Telegram reported then.

Hard to believe how that brief stint for the New York Giants on June 29, 1905 -- exactly 100 years ago Wednesday, at a ballfield in Brooklyn -- became such a part of baseball lore."

Click the link for the rest of the story.

A New Blog

In a post below, Jeff Meyerson mentions that he was given a photo of himself and Jackie in 1971. Just thinking about that drove me into a frenzy of nostalgia, so I created a photo blog. It's located here. It's just a hodgepodge of stuff, and it's only for people who have an inordinate curiosity about looking at other people's old pictures.

Stella's Not Feeling Groovy

How 'Stella's' groove got away from her: "After convincing older women that they can find love with a man half their age, best-selling writer Terry McMillan's Tea Cake has run off -- with a man. Jonathan Plummer was 20 years old and McMillan was 43 when they met while she was staying at a Jamaican resort in 1995. At the time, McMillan had made millions from her novel 'Waiting to Exhale' and was so popular she once complained that she couldn't walk through an airport without sisters stopping her.

But apparently brothers in the United States weren't interested, because McMillan was in Jamaica getting turned on by a local just like legions of other lonely American women who go to the Caribbean looking for romantic adventure. Only McMillan did what a lot of other women wish they could do. She brought the young man home, put him up in her $4 million home, and married him three years later.

Her widely read novel How Stella Got Her Groove Back is based, in part, on the steamy affair between McMillan and Plummer. McMillan is now 53. Plummer is 30 -- and he has come out of the closet. McMillan has filed for a divorce, claiming Plummer 'lied about his sexual orientation' and that he married her 'only to gain U.S. citizenship.'"

A Whole Lot about Zorro

calendarlive.com: Zorro still makes his mark: "He seems like a devil-may-care playboy, pursuing women and good times in equal measure. Yet that's only a ruse: In reality, he's a masked hero who emerges from a secret hide-out to fight injustice wherever he finds it.

Bruce Wayne and his alter ego, Batman? No. It's the original Caped Crusader — Zorro. And 86 years after he first appeared in a pulp magazine story, the early 19th century California hero is poised to become the next pop culture craze"

Border Town Girl -- John D. MacDonald (Part 2)

A while back I posted about the title novella in this book. (I used a different cover, too.) Ed Gorman suggested that I re-read the second novella, "Linda," so I did. After I got into it, I remembered it pretty well, and it's still a dandy story, about a steady, unimaginative guy who marries a flashy woman whom he longed for when they were in high school. After a while he finds out that maybe being married to her isn't as great as he'd thought it would be, and before long, he finds out some even worse things about her. As I read this, I found myself remembering quite a bit about it, but it was still fun, right up until the ending, which seemed draw-out and contrived to me this time. Well worth reading, though. And well worth reading again.

"Batman Begins": Bruce Wayne, Defendant

Overlawyered: "Batman Begins": Bruce Wayne, Defendant: "'Batman Begins': Bruce Wayne, Defendant"

What would really happen to Bruce Wayne? Check it out at the link.

The Gun Trail -- H. A. DeRosso

I didn't know about H. A. DeRosso until a year or so ago. I believe it was James Reasoner who clued me in, and I've read a couple of DeRosso's books since then. I don't know what readers expected when they bought The Gun Trail in 1953, but I'll bet they were surprised. The plot sounds perfectly standard. It involves a deputy who's trailed a killer to the White Peaks country, a range war between a powerful rancher and all the little guys, and a beautiful woman. You might even think you could guess how it all plays out. But you'd probably be wrong. This is a brutal, grim, bloody book. There's not a sympathetic character in it, unless you feel something for the deputy, Quinton. But he's almost as bad as the others, adn they're mostly cold-blooded killers or worse. This is about as dark as it gets, folks, with no compromise.

John Fiedler, R. I. P.

New York City - AP New York: "NEW YORK (AP) _John Fiedler, a stage actor who won fame as the voice of Piglet in Walt Disney's Winnie-the-Pooh films, died Saturday, The New York Times reported in Monday editions. He was 80.

Fiedler served in the Navy during World War II before beginning a stage career in New York. He performed in supporting roles alongside Sidney Poitier on Broadway, John Wayne in Hollywood and Bob Newhart on television. "

Another Pooh voice gone, but I remember Fiedler best as Mr. Peterson on "The Bob Newhart Show." He was probably my favorite of Bob's patients, along with Mr. Carlin. And you know what's scary? Here's what's scary. I thought of him as an Old Guy when I watched the show, and he was probably ten years younger than I am at this moment. OK, that might not scare you, but it sure as hell scares me.

Proof that Nobody Copyedits Robert B. Parker These Days

From Appaloosa, p. 266: "The room was quiet and noisy."

p. 238: "Bragg took a tan leather case out of his inside coat pocket. He offered a cigar to Bragg and me."

Paul Winchell, One More Time

April Winchell: June, 2005: "I got a phone call a few minutes ago, telling me that my father passed away yesterday.

A source close to my dad, or at least, closer than I was, decided to tell me himself, instead of letting me find out on the news, which I appreciate. Apparently a decision had been made not to tell me, or my father's other children.

My father was a very troubled and unhappy man. If there is another place after this one, it is my hope that he now has the peace that eluded him on earth."

I found this link (as I did the previous one) at Mark Evanier's News from Me. I know it shouldn't surprise me that Paul Winchell, who'd brought so much laughter and pleasure to me when I was a kid, was a troubled, unhappy man. It's almost a showbiz cliche. Still, this blog entry depressed me. Life is hardly ever what it should be, I guess. A dman shame if you ask me.

Paul Winchell R. I. P.

news from me: "An amazing man died yesterday at the age of 82. Paul Winchell was a pioneer of early television, appearing on hundreds of shows with his wooden-headed friends, Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smiff. He was a great ventriloquist -- maybe the best ever -- but he was also a great all-around entertainer and inventor."

I was a huge fan of Paul Winchell when I was a kid. He was just about the best ventriloquist I ever saw. Obviously he was influenced by Edgar Bergen, and of course his partners, Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smiff, were a lot like Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd, but he was his own man, and Jerry and Knucklehead weren't carbon copies of any other dummies. I'm sorry to hear they've all passed on.

Clone Wars

New York Post Online Edition:: "
By LOU LUMENICK

June 25, 2005 -- TWO brand-new, very low-budget alternate versions of 'War of the Worlds' are arriving on DVD, just in time to cash in on the publicity storm surrounding Steven Spielberg's megabucks version with Tom Cruise.

Video distributors often dig up older versions of films to ride the coattails of high-profile theatrical releases, but industry experts can't remember a case of three new editions of the same classic story battling it out in the marketplace in the space of eight days.

'H.G. Wells' the War of the Worlds' - a starless edition that returns to Wells' original setting of Victorian England and is being sold at stores like Wal-Mart for as little as $8.42 - established a beachhead last Tuesday.

On Tuesday - a day before Spielberg's version hits theaters - the practically identically titled 'H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds' (which, like the Spielberg version, omits the first 'the'' in Wells' title), a contemporary rendition of the alien-invasion classic set in the southeast and starring second-string Brat Packer C. Thomas Howell, lands at Blockbuster and other stores for as little as $17.47.

Just to add to the otherworldly confusion for video customers, there are also two newly released documentaries titled 'War of the Worlds' and 'H.G. Wells and the War of Worlds,' not to mention the DVD of the first Hollywood version of 'The War of the Worlds,' made in 1953 with Gene Barry."

The rest of the article can be found at the link, but it's probably a registration site.

I (Heart) NY

New York Daily News - City News - Tassels & tussles at Queens graduation: "A graduation ceremony for sixth-graders in Queens erupted into chaos yesterday when parents fought over seats - striking a 7-year-old girl and bringing students to tears.

'Move! Move!' Moises Morales shouted at another parent just as his daughter and her 61 classmates at Public School 201 stood to sing 'Friends Forever,' witnesses said. 'I said move!' Morales, 43, yelled again near the back of the crowded auditorium on 155th St. in Flushing, witnesses said.

Morales and his pregnant wife arrived late to the morning ceremony and could not find seats, leading him to berate a woman who apparently was saving several chairs for family and friends, witnesses said.

The shouting quickly turned to shoving, and Morales hurled a bag at the woman, missing her and hitting the 7-year-old girl, police said."

A Better Man than I

Ed Gorman & Friends:: "From the the time I was ten years old or so I've been collecting comics, books and magazines. Today I divested myself of around three thousand of the damned things."

Ed Gorman's a better man than I. Instead of getting rid of books and magazines, I'm still accumulating them. And if you don't believe me, just ask some of the eBay dealers I'm enriching. I know I shouldn't be buying stuff, but I've got the habit, and I can't break it. It's genetic, I'm sure. I must have told this here before, but my father was an inveterate accumulator of all kinds of junk: bottles, lamps, glasswear, barbed wire, lightning rod balls and arrows, fruit jars, what have you. He filled up his house and two-car garage, and then he bought the little one-bedroom house next door and filled that up, too. So you can see there's no hope for me.

Batman Begins

Judy and I went to see Batman Begins yesterday, and I liked it a lot. Judy thought it was too long and that the ending was dragged out too much. I have to agree with the last part, but it's true of every action movie we've seen lately, I guess.

And in that vein, I have my usual complaint. In most of the action scenes, I had no idea what was going on. I couldn't tell who was hitting whom or with what. Why can't we have nice clean action scenes like the ones in the old movies like The Adventures of Robin Hood? I can follow what's going on in those. There were a couple of scenes in Batman Begins where I couldn't even be sure Batman was involved in the action.

And while I'm complaining, let me mention that I had trouble hearing some of the dialogue, particularly in the early going. (And don't tell me it's because I'm an Old Guy in need of a hearing aid, even if it's true.) In fact, when Liam Neeson was talking to Christian Bale in the prison scene, I thought he said that Ras Al Ghul could offer him "a bath." It took me a while to catch on that he'd said "a path." Hey, the guy did need a bath.

I thought the acting was generally very good. Gary Oldman, as the future Commissioner Gordon, gives a restrained performance (I only mention this because I never thought I'd be able to write "Gary Oldman" and "restrained performance" in the same sentence), while Cillian Murphy, as the keeper of Arkham Asylum and as the Scarecrow, gives the usual Gary Oldman performance. Michael Caine is very good, as almost always (thought it pains me that he's old enough to play Alfred the Butler). Liam Neeson is a good villain (and can it really have been 15 years since he played Darkman?). Christian Bale is an excellent Batman, with just the right amount of edginess. Rutger Hauer is appropriately slimy, and Morgan Freeman is Morgan Freeman. Finally, Katie Holmes proves that she's far too good for Tom Cruise. I hope she's ready to give up wearing heels.

The plot was a little loopy and involves vaporizing the Gotham water supply, but this is a movie based on a comic book, right? What would you expect?

And if the ending is indeed a set-up for the next movie and an encounter with The Joker, I'm ready.

So I read Robert B. Parker's new western novel last night. Didn't take long, which is no great surprise. One of the things I like about Parker's books is that they're short. That's not the only thing, of course. Just one of the things.

Some people (western writers, for example, who have a hard time getting published because "nobody reads westerns") might be irritated to discover that Parker can write what is essentially a traditional western novel with a couple of "fucks" thrown in and find it solidly on the bestseller list at the New York Times (#15 last time I looked). I mean, this book contains just about every western cliche that you can think of, and while you're reading it, you can pick out some of the movies Parker must have watched in the course of his research (Unforgiven, Rio Bravo, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, etc.).

But Parker, being Parker, puts his own spin on the cliches, and that's part of the fun. He also throws in his usual philosophy about what it takes to be a man, why a man has to follow the rules, why a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and so on. Real Men know one another and understand one another. A couple of them can shake hands before a gunfight in which one's sure to be killed to let each other know there's no hard feelings. Virgil Cole, the marshal in the story, is Spenser carried to an extreme. And without Spenser's understanding of women. (Women, of course, understand women, so one character is a whore who can explain them to those of us who can't.)

The book's narrator is Everett Hitch, and some of the dialogue between him and Cole could have been lifted right out of the Spenser novels. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I enjoyed reading the book, but I like just about anything Parker writes. It doesn't stay with me long, but it's fun while it lasts.

My Bouchercon Panel

Friday September 2nd 2:30 to 3:30

The Influence of Ellery Queen

Janet Hutchings -chair
Edward Hoch
Marvin Lachman
Bill Crider

I'm happy to be on a panel with such noted EQ experts. However, I am not a noted EQ expert. For that matter, I'm not an EQ expert at all. I have a feeling I was put on this panel so the others could make fun of me.

Only in San Antonio

WOAI: San Antonio News - It's Okay to Pray for a Spurs Victory: "It's Okay to Pray for a Spurs Victory

Posted By: Jim Forsyth


A lot of us are doing it, but is it okay.... to pray to God for a San Antonio Spurs' victory in tonight's game seven of the NBA Finals. And will God listen?

The Rev. Eddie Bernal, a prominent Catholic theologian and pastor of St. Benedict's Church on the city's east side, says, go for it.

'Yes, definitely,' he says.

'I think it'll be good for the city, I think it'll be something we need, I think a Spurs victory would be good for the country, because the Spurs are men of integrity, and a Spurs victory would send a message that the good guys can win,' Father Eddie told 1200 WOAI's Charity McCurdy.

Bernal says 'certainly' there are more important things going on in the world, but he says 'God loves us' whenever we pray, and he compares prayer to 'getting a call from a favorite grandson.'

But he says a Spurs victory would send a message that God would approve of.

'You don't have to be violent, you don't have to break rules, you don't have do all those kinds of things to win. I think God would be very happy about that.'

Bernal says he personally has been praying for a Spurs victory."

UPDATE: It appears to have worked.

Country Boys

Ed Gorman & Friends:: "Now we come to Dale Watson. This guy is so down-and-dirty honky tonk that it's like drinking beer in a blue collar tavern in 1948. He probably ain't ugly but you sure won't find him in GQ any time soon. His first record deal they wanted him to lose his Elvis sideburns, cover up his considerable number of tattos (which I could live without), record music by other writers (his being too 'negative') and (no surprise) wear a hat. He wouldn't do any of these things. One CD and he was out the door.

He's an artist. He's got a growing fan base in Europe, especially in the UK, where he's considered a major voice in real country music. He's so far down the food chain that he drives himself on the road in a beat up Chevrolet station wagon. A lot of his gigs are in the white equivalents of the black bars where B.B. King started out. 'You were always ready to throw yourself to the floor the minute you heard gunshots.' Watson even wrote a song about it."

Check out Ed Gorman's post on country music. Like me, Ed's a fan of what I think of as REAL country music. I grew up listening to Hank Williams, Ferlin Husky, Webb Pierce, Hank Snow, Bob Wills, the Lightcrust Doughboys and many others. I still love that music, and listen to it a lot.

By the time I was a teenager, Top 40 radio was in full swing, and there was no discrimination. A hit was a hit. So I could listen to KLIF and hear Stonewall Jackson, Frankie Avalon, and Tommy Dorsey's orchestra all played by the same DJ. Those were the days.

But I digress. I have to thank Ed for alerting me to Dale Watson. I belong to an on-demand Internet music service called Rhapsody (not a plug, just a comment), so I immediately checked to see if any of Watson's CDs were available. Sure enough, several of them. So I created a long Dale Watson playlist. Geez, the guy's channeling Merle Haggard for sure on "Honky Tonkers Don't Cry." I thought for a second I was back in 1966 or so. And while I like Tom T. Hall's version of "Fox on the Run" a lot, Watson's version puts Hall's in the shade. Watson's the real thing.

The Blonde Died First -- Dana Chambers

You don't hear much about Dana Chambers these days. In fact, you don't hear anything at all, and Chambers isn't mentioned in any of the reference books I have handy. But in the 1940s, Chambers was a prolific and well-reviewed writer of medium-boiled mysteries. The Blonde Died First is narrated in the first person by Jim Steele, who's supposedly a successful script writer for radio, though we just have to take his word for it. There's nothing in the novel to prove it. Steele is a series character, and this isn't his first appearance. I gather that he was a pretty successful spy at one time since he has the Medal of Honor. But in this one, he's just a guy trying to solve a couple of murders, including that of the blonde of the title. (The title, by the way, is a clue.) Most of the book takes place on a cruise ship, and there's quite a bit of action, a complicated plot, and Steele's smooth narration to carry you along. Things get really kinky by the end of the book, surprisingly so, I thought, for a novel published in the '40s, but maybe I'm just naive. I have a couple of other books by Dana Chambers, and I guess it's time I read them.

Walter Scott's Lesbian Parade and Other Democrats Stories : Wonkette

Walter Scott's Lesbian Parade and Other Democrats Stories : Wonkette: "Walter Scott's Lesbian Parade"

I was altered to this Wonkette post by Ed Gorman. I think Tod Goldberg would be interested, in light of his running commentary on "Walter Scott" and his column. An example of Tod's recent attention to Scott can be found here.

Fancy Footwear

The Official Website for Rocketbuster Boots!

This is the site for those of you who want to dress western and who have plenty of spending cash.

17-year-old CEO has clients on 5 continents

17-year-old CEO has clients on 5 continents: "17-year-old CEO has clients on 5 continents"

When I was 17, I was working at a freight line in the summers, unloading 40-foot trailers and doing pick-up and delivery.

Custer Update

Warriors' act kept secret for decades - billingsgazette.com: "Warriors' act kept secret for decades

By LORNA THACKERAY
Of The Gazette Staff

Nobody talked openly about the 'Suicide Boys'' until almost 90 years after the Battle of the Little Bighorn.

American Indian accounts written down immediately after the fight on June 25, 1876, or years later when the warriors were old men, do not mention four Cheyenne and about 20 Sioux warriors who vowed to fight to the death in the next battle with U.S. troops.

Maybe the suicide vow was too sacred to be shared with outsiders while the battle was still so fresh, speculated John Doerner, chief historian at Little Bighorn Battlefield."

Click the link for the rest of the article.

Matt Helm: The Movies and the Novels

Teleport City In-Flight Reading: "
FROM DONALD TO DEAN
Secret Agent Matt Helm in Print and On Screen"

Via Jaime Weinman's blog, here's a link to an interesting comparison of the Matt Helm movies with Dean Martin to the books by Donald Hamilton. Most people who like the books as much as I do aren't extremely fond of the movies. This is a long, interesting look at both.

What's the Kinkster's Position on this Important Issue?

MySA.com: Metro | State: "KERRVILLE — Entering the final leg of a $4 million building fund drive, Dietert Senior Center leaders are considering a non-traditional way to raise cash: a naked-biker calendar.

A graying local cyclist proposed the risqu?revue to close the $1 million shortfall that remains after nearly a year of selling pies, auctioning quilts, printing cookbooks and tapping residents and foundations.

'He suggested we take pictures of them on their bikes stripped, hiding the important parts, of course,' said Jacques Duhr, president of the center's board of directors.

'We just thought it was hilarious,' Duhr, 65, said. 'I wouldn't be opposed to it, to tell you the truth.'"

Kinky Friedman is a "kervert" (which is what he calls residents of Kerrville), and since he's running for governor, he should get in on this calendar deal. Is July taken?

Everyone Says I Hate You.

A Writer's Life: How Hated Am I?

The fanfic debate rages on at Lee Goldberg's blog. He really roiled the waters when he started giving his negative opinions of fanfic, and some of the responses he's generated are pretty amazing.

Jim Winter, on the other hand, is not amused and would say that for blogging this item, I should be given a lobotomy.

The King and Other Stories -- Joe Lansdale

How do you tell when someone has truly become a wildly successful writer? I'd say that you've done it when someone publishes a collection of eighteen pieces of your flash fiction and sells if for forty bucks. (And I can almost guarantee the collection will sell out its small printing.) You can read this book pretty quickly, obviously. All the pieces are short, some a few pages, some a few lines. All of them are typical of Joe Lansdale's quirky sensibility: funny, bizarre, and just downright weird. And all of them are accompanied by wonderful b&w illustrations Glenn Chadbourne. Highly recommended for Lansdale fans and anybody else who has forty bucks to spare.

Going the Way of the 8-Track

BBC NEWS | Technology | Not long left for cassette tapes

Some 40 years after global cassette production began in earnest, sales are in terminal decline.

From its creation in the 1960s through to its peak of popularity in the 1980s, the cassette has been a part of music culture for 40 years.

But industry experts believe it does not have long left, at least in the West.

Off to Houston

In an hour or so Judy and I will brave the Friday afternoon traffic and drive to the other side of Houston. Our destination is the Sofitel Hotel, where the MWA's Southwest Chapter is having its annual summer workshop. I don't often attend, but this year one of the speakers is Joe Lansdale. I figured it would be fun to see Joe again, and I'll probably pick up all kinds of writing tips that will allow me to become rich and famous. It's about time, is all I can say about that. We'll be back home tomorrow evening, and I'll post a report then if anything interesting happens.

Another Icon Gone

Lucy In The Sky - the real woman | Music | Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au (15-06-2005): "Lucy In The Sky - the real woman
By Beth Hale
June 15, 2005

WHEN the Beatles released Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, it was popularly assumed to be a barely concealed reference to LSD.
John Lennon denied a drugs link, claiming the true inspiration was a young girl called Lucy who appeared in a painting by his then four-year-old son, Julian.

Her identity was not revealed at the time but the story can now be told of the little girl who may have been the real Lucy in the Sky.

Lucy Richardson grew up to be a successful movie art director.

But this month she died at the age of 47 after a two-year battle with breast cancer."

Click the link for the rest of the story.

Ray Banks Interview

Northcoast Exile: World's Crappiest Interview 2: Electric Boogaloo

In his continuing efforts to one-up Victor Gischler, Jim Winter presents his second "World's Crappiest Interview," this time with Ray Banks. Check it out.

The Omnibus of Science Fiction -- Groff Conklin

A long, long time ago, when I was just a kid, I joined the Science Fiction Book Club. I believe the deal at that time was that you got three books for a dime or something like that. Anyway, one of my choices was The Omnibus of Science Fiction. It was a huge volume, and it's one of the few that remain on my shelves from those days. The jacket is tattered, and the pages are browning, but it's the very same book that arrived in the mail at my house on McKinney Street in Mexia, Texas.

That was a great day for me, and the stories in the book marked me in a way that's hard to explain. Some of them I remember to this day, including the one I read this evening, Ray Bradbury's "Kaleidoscope." I probably haven't read this story in around 50 years, but then I didn't have to. From the very first time I read it, it stuck in my head, and for a long time I could practically quote the last few paragraphs word for word.

As I read it again this evening, it affected me just as powerfully as it did in the 1950s. Maybe even more. I don't care if the science is bad. That didn't bother me then, and it doesn't bother me now. What matters is the story, and the effect of those fine closing paragraphs. Wow. Talk about your Sense of Wonder. For me this was (and is) what it's all about.

The Willie Nelson Professorship in Stem Cell Research

News Story - NCBuy: "Country singer Willie Nelson is making a name for himself in a new field - stem cell research.

The University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas is planning to establish the Annie and Willie Nelson Professorship in Stem Cell Research. An official announcement is planned later this week, a university official said."

"Normal" Blogging to Resume Shortly

I'm slowly making my way through all the Blog Project stories. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they're all so well written and entertaining, considering the people involved. I'll get back to "normal" blogging (whatever that is) soon.

Raining Willie: a Story with no Moral

Sorry, folks, but I've had to delete this story after its being on-line for four years. It's going to be published in a book called Lone Star Noir, which I hope you'll read.

Who's Going to Tell Michael Crichton?

USATODAY.com - The debate's over: Globe is warming: "The debate's over: Globe is warming
By Dan Vergano, USA TODAY
Don't look now, but the ground has shifted on global warming. After decades of debate over whether the planet is heating and, if so, whose fault it is, divergent groups are joining hands with little fanfare to deal with a problem they say people can no longer avoid."

Cops Just Wanna Have Fun

OregonLive.com: NewsFlash - City cleared in sex-prank suit: "PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — A federal jury determined that the sexually charged antics of the Portland Police Bureau's elite tactical team did not create a hostile work environment for its first female member.

Officer Liani Reyna, 36, who joined the team in 1999, accused the police bureau of allowing the team's rituals to go unchecked for years, then retaliating against her when she complained. She asked the jury to award her damages in excess of $1 million.

During the two-week civil trial, the jury heard about the team's nude hot-tubbing, pornography-viewing, strip club outings and explicit skits in which team members simulated having sex and masturbating."

Bio-Pics

Jon Breen's recent post over at Ed Gorman and Friends got me to thinking about bio-pics. I wondered the same thing that Jon did about Max Baer: was he as bad as he was made out to be in the movie? His son (yeah, the guy who played Jethro on Beverly Hillbillies) doesn't seem to think so. He was pretty upset about the movie. I did a little checking on the 'net, and Baer, while he was known as the "Clown Prince of Boxing" and certainly did his share of womanizing, doesn't seem to have been nearly as cruel and mean-spirited as he was depicted in the movie.

But my question is, why do we care? When I was growing up, nobody even thought twice about whether a movie based on historical characters was accurate. Most of the time, movies about heroic figures like Lincoln were pretty reverential. Movies about outlaws and gunslingers were the same. A historical figure might have a dark side, but it would never be more than hinted out. Or the villainous characters might have been exaggerated in the opposite way. Nobody minded, as far as I know.

And now it matters. Why? What changed? I'm sure there's an answer. I just don't know what it is.

World's Worst Interview: Charlie Stella Edition

Home of Hardboiled Writer Victor Gischler

Victor Gischler is at it again. Click the link to check it out.

Oprah's Book Club: A Summer of Faulkner

Oprah's Book Club: A Summer of Faulkner

By now just about everybody knows that Oprah is intent on getting people to read a few William Faulkner novels this summer. Is this a good thing?

I've read the three novels in question (As I Lay Dying, Light in August, The Sound and the Fury) more than once. I've probably read The Sound and the Fury ten or eleven times. I loved it the first time I read it, and I still think it's one of the best novels of the 20th century. I like the other two books almost as well. But I'm not sure they're for everybody. In fact, I'm pretty sure they're not. For one thing, they're not easy reading. Faulkner's style can be a little off-putting to some people. (Like the students in my American lit classes.)

It's an interesting experiment, though. I'd really like to know how many people will actually read the books and how many will be out buying the Cliff's Notes.

To get back to my original question, I've decided that it is a good thing. If it puts Faulkner back on the bestseller list, it certainly can't be bad, can it?

James Reasoner in the News!

Brownwood Bulletin

You never know who's gracing the covers of our nation's more obscure dailies if you don't check 'em out. Click the link to see James as he pontificates during the annual celebration of Robert E. Howard Days in Cross Plains, Texas. The photo will be up until around 3:00 p.m., June 14. And here's the link to the article that does with the photo.

Howard Hughes

On our way back from the old hometown today, Judy and I decided to have a look at the Greenwood Cemetery, just a few blocks from downtown Houston. If you like to visit cemeteries (and hey, who doesn't?), this one is well worth a look. Beautiful trees, including one of the biggest oaks I've ever seen. Lots of flowers. And, of course, lots of graves, including the final resting place of Howard Hughes, Jr. There are some photos here in case you don't have time to make a visit yourself. Quite a few famous people are buried in Glenwood, including Anson Jones (1798-1858), first president of the Republic of Texas; Glen McCarthy (1907-1988), King of the Wildcatters and builder of the late lamented Shamrock Hotel; and Gene Tierney (1920-1991), Laura, married at one time to Oleg Cassini.

The Scarlet Pimpernel on the Air

While discussing Zorro with a friend the other day, I mentioned the Scarlet Pimpernel. And it occurred to me that I'd heard a Pimpernel radio show when I was a kid. "Nah," my friend said. "I don't think so." Naturally I had to check it out on the Internet. As it turns out, he was sort of right. There wasn't a radio show, as such, but was a serial version of the novel that was made in Britain and run in the U.S. by NBC in 1952-53. I'd have been eleven years old, and I'm sure that's what I heard. The question is, do I want to order the show now and listen to it again after all these years? Probably not.

Long, long ago

I'll be visiting my hometown this weekend, and I'll be meeting with some of my old (and that's the right word, believe me) friends from high school. The photo above is of the Mexia High School Slide Rule Club from many years back. I'm not telling you which one is me, but this was before I got the fabulous birth-control glasses that I was wearing in the wedding picture of a few posts back.

Macavity Noms Announced

Macavity Award Nominations 2005

(for works published in 2004)
The Macavity Awards are nominated and voted on by members of Mystery Readers International. Winners will be announced at Bouchercon in September 2005.

Best Novel

The Killing of the Tinkers, by Ken Bruen (St. Martin's Minotaur)
Cold Case, by Robin Burcell (Avon)
Darkly Dreaming Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay (Doubleday)
High Country Fall, by Margaret Maron (Mysterious Press)
California Girl, by T. Jefferson Parker (HarperCollins)
Playing with Fire, by Peter Robinson (William Morrow)

Best First Novel
Uncommon Grounds, by Sandra Balzo (Five Star)
Summer of the Big Bachi, by Naomi Hirahara (Delta)
Whiskey Sour, by J A Konrath (Hyperion)
Dating Dead Men, by Harley Jane Kozak (Doubleday)
Misdemeanor Man, by Dylan Schaffer (Bloomsbury)

Best Nonfiction
Famous American Crimes & Trials, Vol. 1, by Frankie Y Bailey & Steven Chermak, (Praeger Publishers)
Just the Facts: True Tales of Cops & Criminals, by Jim Doherty (Deadly Serious Press)
The New Annotated Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Short Stories, edited by Leslie S. Klinger (W.W.Norton)
Latin American Mystery Writers: An A-to-Z Guide, by Darrell B. Lockhart (Greenwood Press)
Forensics for Dummies, by D.P. Lyle, MD (Wiley Publishing)

Best Short Story
"Viscery" by Sandra Balzo (EQMM, December 2004)
"The Widow of Slane" by Terence Faherty (EQMM, March/April 2004)

"The Lady's Not for Dying" by Alana White (Futures Mystery Anthology Magazine, Winter 2004)

--

Janet A. Rudolph, Editor, Mystery Readers Journal
http://www.mysteryreaders.org

Today's Celebrity Lawsuit

CJ - Woman Claims She Inspired Stephen King's 'Misery': "Stephen King is the master of the macabre, and he often writes about scary women. One of his scariest was 'Annie Wilkes', the unforgettable sadistic nurse played by Kathy Bates in the 1990 movie, 'Misery.' Now in a federal lawsuit obtained by 'CJ', a freelance writer from New Jersey claims she's the real Annie."

This woman has a real thing about SK. Maybe she really is Annie.

All Right, Boots . . . Start Walkin'

I see in the paper than Nancy Sinatra is 65 today. Good grief.

This Just in from Lynn Myers

Mickey Spillane had an accident at his home last Friday. He's home now after spending the weekend and most of yesterday in the hospital, and according to wife Jane Spillane, Mickey tripped over a cat and fell down the steps at his home in Murrells Inlet, SC. Prognosis is good, but he will be laid up indefinitely. If you would like to send Mickey a card (no flowers please) his address is:

Mickey Spillane
Box 265
Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

Who Is George Kelley?

University at Buffalo Libraries - Lockwood - Kelley Collection

Some of you might be wondering about the philanthropist mentioned in the previous post. George Kelley is a longtime member of DAPA-Em, and a collector of old paperback books. Being smarter than most of us, George donated a big chunk of his collection to a university library. Amazingly, the library was happy to get the books, and there's a cool website devoted to the collection. You can search the "Gumshoes, Sleuths, and Snoopers" database, you can check out some cool covers, or you an read the "Introduction," which includes a photo of George himself. Just click the link above and have a look.

God Help Us All

Over at Jaime Weinman's blog I learned that the four Dean Martin-as-Matt-Helm movies are going to be released on DVD. As all fans of Matt Helm know, these movies bear absolutely no resemblance to the novels they're supposedly based on. They are, in fact, pretty awful. It's frightening to think that they're about to be released to an unsuspecting public. (The suspecting public will be careful to avoid them.)

Victor Gischler Needs this Book!

I’ve mentioned my affection for ABBA before. I’m a sucker for vocal harmony, and when you combine great harmonies with amazing pop-music hooks, I’m completely happy. So it was only right that I read (thanks to George Kelley) Bright Lights Dark Shadows: the Real Story of ABBA by Carl Magnus Palm. I thought the book might be just another puff piece, one of those celeb bios that doesn’t get down and dirty, but the “dark shadows” part of the title isn’t a misnomer. It’s not that the group was wild and crazy. No trashed hotels here, no mistreating of the roadies, no drunken orgies. (Dang. I was sorta hoping for drunken orgies.) But the book doesn’t play down the group’s problems and conflicts, and especially the problems some members had after the group broke up. It’s well written and easy to read (a good thing, considering its length), and it has a lot of b&w photos. I believe ABBA has been offered a billion dollars for a reunion tour. That’s right, a billion dollars. And they turned it down. Now that’s what I call integrity. Either that, or they’re completely nuts. One or the other. I report, you decide.

WARREN NORWOOD R. I. P.

Star-Telegram | 06/05/2005 | WARREN NORWOOD | 1945-2005: "WARREN NORWOOD | 1945-2005

Novelist was a teacher and a musician

Star-Telegram

WEATHERFORD - Warren Norwood, a writer, writing teacher and musician, died of liver disease Friday morning. He was 59.

Mr. Norwood, a longtime employee of Craig's Music in Weatherford, wrote novels, mostly science fiction/fantasy, including Shudderchild, The Windhover Tapes Trilogy and True Jaguar.

Mr. Norwood taught courses at Weatherford College and what is now Tarrant County College about writing and selling fiction.

'What I remember most about Warren was his love of learning,' said Shannon Story, a former student. 'He was always learning new things and was eager to share his wealth of knowledge with everyone he met.'

Another student, Viqui Litman, said: 'He was a great teacher. He focused on the nuts and bolts of writing. He was a good critic and gave a straightforward reading.'

Mr. Norwood was born Aug. 21, 1945, in Philadelphia. His family moved to Fort Worth when he was 12, and he graduated from Arlington Heights High School in 1963.

While serving in the Army in Vietnam, he earned a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star and an Army Commendation Medal.

He learned about Buddhism in Vietnam and continued to practice it, according to his family.

Mr. Norwood graduated from what is now the University of North Texas and was later named an Outstanding Alumnus by the philosophy and English departments."

This obit is posted on a registration-only site, so I'm excerpting a good bit of it here. I met Warren at the first AggieCon I ever attended, back in 1979. He was a great guy, always willing to help out other writers or others who wanted to be writers. For a while he stopped going to conventions, but I saw him again at ConDFW in 2004, and he was his usual jovial self and even remembered who I was, which sort of surprised me. He was at the convention again this year, but I was at LCC in El Paso and didn't go. I wish now, of course, that I could have seen him again.

I not only deny the allegation. . .

. . . I also deny the alle-gator. (To paraphrase an old Amos 'n' Andy routine.) You may be asking yourself, "What allegation?" Well, it's the one made by Harry Hunsicker, recent recipient of a highly favorable review here for his fine first novel, Still River. The allegation appears on Victor Gischler's blog in one of his "World's Worst Interviews," and Harry, in response to a legitimate question about ABBA, alleges something about me and a groupie for K. C. and the Sunshine Band. Totally false. (Though I'm quite grateful that Harry didn't bring up that sordid episode with the Village People.)

It Was 40 Years Ago Today . . .

. . . on June 4, 1965, that Judy Laverne Stutts and I were married in the Central Baptist Church in Thornton, Texas. Did I ever imagine then what it would be like to spend a lifetime with someone? Heck, no. I never thought past the next five minutes. Which, by the way, is about how long it seems since that picture was taken. I wonder if the next 40 years will go by as quickly?

Hard Case Crime Press Release

Probably you've all heard this before, but here it is again:

Award-Winning Authors
KEN BRUEN and JASON STARR
Team Up For Hard Case Crime

Authors of THE GUARDS and TWISTED CITY to Collaborate on BUST

New York (June 3, 2005) - Hard Case Crime announced today that
acclaimed crime writers Ken Bruen and Jason Starr will collaborate on
an original novel titled BUST, to be published in Spring 2006.
Ireland-based Bruen is the author of more than a dozen celebrated
novels, including THE GUARDS, THE KILLING OF THE TINKERS, and THE
MAGDALEN MARTYRS. New York City-based Starr has won raves for novels
such as HARD FEELINGS, TOUGH LUCK, and TWISTED CITY. Between them,
the two authors have been nominated for almost every major award in
the mystery field, including the Edgar, the Shamus, the Barry, the
Anthony, and the Macavity Awards. (THE GUARDS won the Shamus in 2003,
TOUGH LUCK won the Barry in 2004, and both men are again up for the
Anthony and Barry Awards this year.) BUST tells the story of sleazy
New York businessman Max Fisher, who hatches a plot to kill his wife
with the help of his Irish-American executive assistant and an ex-IRA
hit man of her acquaintance. Naturally, things go horribly wrong.

Launched in September 2004 by novelists and pulp mavens Charles Ardai
and Max Phillips, the Edgar Award-winning Hard Case Crime imprint
revives the storytelling and visual style of the great pulp
paperbacks of the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. The line features an exciting
mix of lost pulp masterpieces from some of the most acclaimed crime
writers of all time and gripping new novels from the next generation
of great hardboiled authors, all with new painted covers in the grand
pulp style. Authors range from current best-sellers such as Lawrence
Block, Max Allan Collins, Ed McBain, and Donald E. Westlake to Golden
Age stars like Erle Stanley Gardner (creator of "Perry Mason"),
Donald Hamilton (creator of "Matt Helm"), Wade Miller (author of
TOUCH OF EVIL), and Charles Williams (author of DEAD CALM). In
October 2005, Hard Case Crime will publish THE COLORADO KID, a new
book by Stephen King, who has said, "This is an exciting line and I'm
delighted to be part of it."

Since its debut, Hard Case Crime has been the subject of enthusiastic
coverage by a wide range of publications including The New York
Times, USA Today, Vanity Fair, Playboy, U.S. News & World Report,
BusinessWeek, The Chicago Sun-Times, The Houston Chronicle, New York
magazine, the New York Post and Daily News, Salon, Publishers Weekly
and USA Weekend, as well as numerous other magazines, newspapers, and
online media outlets. In The Stranger, Neal Pollack wrote, "Hard Case
may be the best new American publisher to appear in the last decade."
The Chicago Sun-Times wrote, "Hard Case Crime is doing a wonderful
job.These modern `penny dreadfuls' are worth every dime." And
Publishers Weekly wrote, "They do write `em like they used to."

"Ken and I have been looking for an excuse to work together and the
chance to collaborate on an old-fashioned pulp crime novel for Hard
Case Crime was just too good to pass up," said Jason Starr. Ken Bruen
added, "We had a blast writing this book and have already started
talking about a sequel."

"BUST is a simply terrific book that will not only satisfy existing
fans of Ken's and Jason's work but should bring them legions of new
readers," said Charles Ardai, Hard Case Crime's editor. "These guys
are well versed in the pulp tradition and know how to tell the sort
of story that grabs you by the throat on the first page and doesn't
let you go until the last. This is definitely a stay-up-all-night-to-
finish-it sort of book."

Zorro -- Isabel Allende

Never having read a book by Isabel Allende, I didn't know what to expect of her version of the Zorro story. But, being a Zorro fan, I wanted to read the book to see what Allende had to offer.

Not much, as it turns out. What we have here is a "prequel," sort of a "how Zorro became Zorro" story. Except that instead of being a prequel to the original tale by Johnston McCulley, this novel is a prequel to every Zorro movie you've ever seen, as we learn how Diego de la Vega became a wonderful magician, acrobat, swordsman, and so on. We find out how the fox became his totem animal and how he learned to hate injustice. Not to mention how he got so handy with a bullwhip. We even get a long section with Jean Lafitte when Diego is captured by pirates. So why wasn't I thrilled?

First of all, let me admit that I'm in a minority. Most reviewers and readers seem to love the book. Maybe I didn't like it because Allende is sort of the anti-Robert B. Parker. Parker tells his stories with tons of dialogue. Allende doesn't seem to like dialogue at all. As for me, I'm with Alice (of Wonderland fame), who, as I dimly recall, said something along these lines, "What good is a book without conversations in it?" Allende writes page after page after page with no conversations at all, and sometimes the page after page after page of writing is all one paragraph. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The paragraphs are fluidly written and easy enough to read. But isn't the primary rule of writing supposed to be "show, don't tell"? This book is 95% telling and 5% showing.

And then there's the narration. About 1/3 of the way through, the narrator suddenly intrudes in the first person, something that happens a couple more times. The narrator is playing coy with us for reasons we discover later. I have a feeling this is Allende's "literary" side, and it's supposed to be a cute little joke, but I wasn't impressed.

And the section with the pirates? Geez. This part of the book sounds like it was intended for some bodice-ripper with Lafitte on the cover, modeled of course by Fabio. Gimme a break.

What it comes down to, probably, is this: Given the choice between Allende's version and the original by McCulley (which I re-read a year or so ago), I'll take the old pulpster any time. Just another example of my low taste in literature.

Sam Cook and the Soul Stirrers

For the last few days, a couple of albums by Sam Cooke and the Soul Stirrers have been in what MTV used to call "heavy rotation" on my computer. Most people of my age remember Cooke for such pop classics as "You Send Me," "Chain Gang," and lots of other hits. But before he got worldly, Cooke sang lead with a gospel group, and these recordings get down in my blood and bone the way only good gospel can get into someone who grew up in a little Methodist church in East Texas. I'd rather hear these songs than anything Cooke recorded after he became famous and started selling millions of records. You don't have to have grown up like I did to start shouting "Amen" and "Hallelujah" when you hear songs like these. At least I don't think you do.

Cooke's sad and mysterious death adds a little poignancy to listening to these songs. I think they're the best work Cooke ever did. Check 'em out if you can.

Why Wasn't I in the Loop?

CMT.com: Seeking Vice President, CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE: "The job responsibilities for the Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute are:

* watch The Dukes of Hazzard every weeknight on CMT;
* know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, 'Good Ol' Boys,' written and performed on the series by the legendary Waylon Jennings;
* serve as media expert on The Dukes of Hazzard for the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute: must be available for TV, radio and newspaper interviews to share passion for The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
* write the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com;
* be passionate about The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
* make appearances at special events such as Dukesfest 2005 in Bristol, Tenn., (June 4-5, 2005).

As you can see, Art Scott, E.O.T.U., wasn't joking, and neither was the NY POST. But why didn't anybody tell me about this job when there was still time to apply?

Cap'n Bob Wants this Job, Too!

This comes via Art Scott, E.O.T.U. I don't have a link, so we'll just have to trust him.

TV MAN'S HAZZARD-OUS DUTY

Meet the New Yorker with the world's easiest and best-paying job.

Christopher Nelson is getting $100,000 a year to sit in his East Village apartment and watch reruns of "The Dukes of Hazzard."

The Country Music Channel, which airs the backwoods brawls-and-babes show, hired Nelson, 28, to watch it daily and drum up interest with a "Dukes" blog featuring trivia, contests and interviews with the original stars.

His title is vice president of the "Dukes of Hazzard Institute" — the president being The General Lee, the orange 1969 Dodge Charger that Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke tooled around in.

"This is a great job and I can do it right from my home. Any job that's a pants-optional position is all right with me," said Nelson, a transplanted Texan who'd been doing temp work as he tried to kick-start a music and writing career. Bill Hoffmann

Trucker Bombs

‘Urine trouble,’ some states warn lazy truckers - Environment - MSNBC.com: "SEATTLE — Roadside litter comes in all shapes and sizes — from dirty diapers to syringes — but there's one category that out-grosses the rest: trucker bombs.

Most drivers whiz along the nation's highways largely oblivious to their roadside surroundings. But next time you are out there, take a closer look.

'As soon as you look for it you’ll see it,' says Megan Warfield, litter programs coordinator at Washington state's Department of Ecology. 'You just see them glistening in the sun. It’s just gross.'

They are trucker bombs, plastic jugs full of urine tossed by truckers, and even non-truckers, who refuse to make a proper potty stop to relieve themselves."

I particularly like the use of the word "whiz" in the sentence I emphasized above.

Cap'n Bob Wants this Job!

City pays for private investigator to get lap dances: "City pays for private investigator to get lap dances"

But a certain Sam Smooth probably already has a lock on it.

I Can Hardly Wait

The Books-to-Film Weekly Deals Report, Starring Sylvester Stallone, Leo DiCaprio, Robert Downey Jr. and Akiva Goldsman: "Sylvester Stallone does a one-two punch this month, with two head-scratching deals in place. First, the brawny boxer has just officially confirmed that that he has signed on to star in Rambo IV."

In the second piece of Sly news this week, the star will direct a biopic of a quieter, gentler sort: the life of Edgar Allan Poe, in a film titled not Rampoe, but, merely, Poe. Stallone is wooing Robert Downey Jr. to play the master of the macabre. The bio/drama will be produced and distributed by the same company behind Rambo IV, Nu Image/Millennium Films.

New Noir Originals On-line Now

Allan Guthrie's Noir Originals Zine: Noir And Hardboiled Fiction

Al Guthrie's Noir Originals is an excellent example of what an e-zine can be. There are articles, stories, and interviews that all look interesting. Check it out.

Brought In Dead -- Jack Higgins

I've had quite a bit to say about Jack Higgins in the past, here, here, and here. In the second of those linked posts, I said that a book called The Graveyard Shift reminded me of a good Gold Medal novel. I should have mentioned then that it was really Fawcett who brought Higgins to the U.S. market back in the 1970s, putting out a lot of his best work in paperback for the first time in this country.

Brought in Dead is another Berkley reprint of an early Higgins book in the same series as The Graveyard Shift and it also features a cop named Nick Miller. In this one Miller is working on the suicide of a young woman who seems to have gone to a lot of trouble to hide her identity before killing herself. He finds out who she was, and her father sets out to get revenge on the man who drove her to her death. This is another fast-moving and entertaining book, and as soon as I finished it, I went out and bought Hell is always Today, yet another Nick Miller novel. I don't know why Berkley has waited so long to publish this series, but I, for one, am glad they finally got around to it.

Dashiell Hammett's The Fat Man

Judy and I had to make a long drive to a funeral on Saturday, so I stuck some Old Time Radio shows on CD into the car's changer. One of my favorite programs when I was a kid was The Fat Man, which starred J. Scott Smart as the title character. The Fat Man was a private detective named Brad Runyon, and he was hefty. The show opened with someone (sometimes a man, sometimes a woman) saying, "There he goes into that drugstore. He's stepping on the scales." (Sound of a penny dropping into slot.) "Weight: 237 pounds. Fortune: Danger. Whooooo is it?" Then J. Scott Smart says, "The Fat Man."

I've heard or read that some people aren't all that fond of J. Scott Smart's voice. I thought it was great, and The Fat Man was a show I never wanted to miss. I was thrilled in the early '50s when a movie version appeared, starring J. Scott Smart himself. I was right there in the Palace Theater in Mexia, Texas, to see it. I don't know if it was a big hit across the country, but it was a hit with me.

And I enjoyed the two shows we listened to. One was "The Black Angel," and the other was "Twice-Told Secret." Both of them would probably seem laughable to today's audiences, particularly in the way Brad Runyon manipulates the cops. He's always the one in charge, and they do what he tells them, legalities be damned. For me the highlight was listening to Smart's narration. I still love that voice. And I love the theme music, too. Hearing it was like being transported back to 1948 or so.

The Fat Man was supposedly created by Dashiell Hammett, but the degree of his involvement is questionable. Obviously the title was a play on Hammett's The Thin Man, but I don't know how much he had to do with the show beyond that. Except to collect his paycheck.

Who could have guessed, fifty or more years ago, that I'd be involved with Hammett in one way or another for most of the rest of my life? Certainly not me.

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day, the inhabitants of Casa de Crider send a grateful thank-you to all those who serve (and to those who have served) in our armed forces. We remember the fallen.

The Fools in Town are on our Side -- Ross Thomas

I've mentioned before how much I like the novels of Ross Thomas. Here, for example and also here. The other day I picked up a copy of The Fools in Town are on our Side and started thumbing through it, thinking I'd re-read a couple of paragraphs. One hundred pages later I knew I wasn't going to stop. If I hadn't already pledged my allegiance to Chinaman's Chance as my favorite book by Thomas, I might have to say that this one is. It's a close race.

The apparent ease with which Thomas writes makes me grind my teeth in envy (even though I know it couldn't possibly have been easy). When I read a book like The Fools . . . . I wonder why I even bother to try to write anything more ambitious than a grocery list. The book's main story is about how Lucifer C. (for Clarence) Dye corrupts a place called Shankertown, "but the local wits had long ago changed that to Chancre Town . . . ." That sentence tells us what one of Thomas's inspirations for the novel was, but it gives no clue to the way the story unfolds. Or the stories, since the main story is frequently interrupted by flashbacks to Lucifer Dye's past. Naturally these flashbacks are handled so smoothly that you'll hardly realize how well they're done unless you stop and think about it, which you most likely won't do on a first reading, thanks to the propulsive force of Thomas's narrative.

Ross Thomas has been dead for about ten years now. When he died, all his books were in print. Now only the cognoscenti even remember who he was. Or at least that's the way it seems to me in my darker moments. I hope it's not true. Thomas was a masterful writer, absoluetly one of the best.

My 15 Minutes (or maybe 15 seconds)

Bloggers Say the Darnedest Things By David Wallace-Wells: "'Maybe those hundreds of SF stories I read back in the '50s weren't so far off the mark, after all,' writes Texan and novelist Bill Crider, who joins most bloggers in being charmed but not convinced. At science and technology superblog Boing Boing, Ben Garvey provides some visual (and somewhat gruesome) counterevidence, while Cory Doctorow adds: 'To be clear -- the interesting thing about this story isn't the possibility that it's true. It clearly isn't. It's that there are doctors participating in a Big Lie regarding the ongoing tragedy of Chernobyl.'"

Thanks to Vince Keenan for the heads-up on this one.

Vintage Gun Leather

Vintage Gun Leather

This is a site for fans of old western movies, or for those of you who've been looking for a holster for your antique firearm. Some wonderful stuff. Check it out.

The All-Time Top 100 Voices in the Movies

filmcritic.com: The All-Time Top 100 Voices in the Movies

Yes, it's another of those annoying lists! I got the link from Ray Banks over at The Saturday Boy, so blame him.

Cold Service -- Robert B. Parker

I've expressed my affection for the works of Robert B. Parker before, here and here. And also here. So it won't come as a surprise to regular readers of this blog that I enjoyed Cold Service, the latest in the Spenser series. I'm sure the title refers to the way revenge tastes best, and this is a revenge book. Remember the book in which Spenser gets all shot up and has to be nursed back to health so that he can get revenge and become himself again? Well, this time it's Hawk who's all shot up and who has to be nursed, etc. Naturally there's much discussion of how a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do and how if he doesn't do it he's not a man and so on. What did you expect? This is a Spenser novel, right? Anyway, it's also a "one man against municipal corruption" book, except that it's really two men, Hawk and Spenser. It's Parker's version of Hammett's Red Harvest.

I've decided that Parker is writing minimalist crime fiction. Cold Service is mostly dialogue (as are all Parker's novels these days). It's fast, it's efficient, it gets the job done. A lot of it is overly familiar (even I, as big a fan as there is, get a little tired of the stuff with Susan, not to mention the dog), but I still enjoyed just about every page of it. Whatever it is that Parker does, he does it extremely well. I'd love to be able to write that way.

Mutants!

The Sun Online - News: 'Mutant' children are best

THE Chernobyl nuclear disaster has spawned a generation of ‘mutant’ super-brainy children.

Kids growing up in areas damaged by radiation from the plant have a higher IQ and faster reaction times, say Russian doctors.

Maybe those hundreds of SF stories I read back in the '50s weren't so far off the mark, after all.

An Erotic Bakery?

Nooky's Erotic Bakery -Houston Bachelorette, Bachelor Party Cakes, party supplies, erotic edibles, Photo cakes

Thanks to Off the Kuff, I've discovered that Texas has an erotic bakery. That's right, an erotic bakery, and it's located only about 25 miles from where I'm sitting. In Tom DeLay's home district. Do you think there'll be controversy? Off the Kuff directs us to the hilarious lowdown, here. This is highly recommended reading. Check it out.

Still River -- Harry Hunsicker

Hey, Guys! Thinking about getting a testosterone shot? Why bother? Just read Harry Hunsicker's Still River. It's cheaper, less painful, and more fun.

There are a couple of p.i. novel titles that I really like and that I think would better describe this book, but they're both taken. One is Joe Lansdale and Lewis Shiner's Private-Eye Action as You Like It. The other is Let them Eat Bullets, from an old Gold Medal book by Howard Schoenfeld. Either title would fit Still River. This book never slows down to catch its breath. There are more firefights than on a bad day in Baghdad, not to mention martial arts, explosions, and hair dryers. In fact, if the U.S. gov would just send Lee Henry ("Call me Hank") Oswald to Iraq, he'd probably take out the insurgency in under a month. I believe Hunsicker has already signed on to write at least two more books in this series. By the time they're done, the population of Dallas, which is the setting, might be reduced to the size of Alvin's.

There are some good one-liners in the midst of all the carnage. Plus there are characters named Clairol and Poon. If you put copies of books by James Crumley and Dan Jenkins too close together on a library shelf and they mated to produce an illegitimate offspring, the result might be Still River. I suggest that you buy a copy today.

Excellent Career Move

Tonight - Star Wars star wants to try another career: "Star Wars star wants to try another career
May 24, 2005

Hayden Christensen is set to quit acting to become an architect. The Star Wars actor says he plans to swap the big screen for building design - because the movie industry doesn't excite him anymore.

He told Britain's The Sun newspaper: 'Maybe the new Star Wars will be my last movie. 'I don't find Hollywood interesting, so I'm thinking about studying architecture instead.'"

Considering Christensen's alleged "acting" in the Star Wars movies I've seen, I think this is his best bet.

Three to Conquer -- Eric Frank Russell

Back in the '50s there were a lot of books and movies like this one. Aliens were among us, and the scary thing was that they were nearly impossible to detect because they either assumed our forms, invaded our bodies, or attached themselves to us. They looked just like we did. My personal favorite has always been Robert Heinlein's The Puppet Masters, but I also like Jack Finney's The Body Snatchers. I like both movie versions of that one, too. Other movies on the same theme I like include It Came from Outer Space and Invaders from Mars. I'm sure there are plenty of others.

Three to Conquer was originally a serial in Astounding, and the title there was Call Him Dead. I read it first in the edition in the picture, half of an Ace Double. The invaders are from Venus, and apparently they're some kind of microbial parasites that can take over human beings, and the only person who can spot them is the world's only (as far as he knows) telepath, Wade Harper. Who, of course, just happens to be in the right place at the right time, at the very beginning of the invasion. The story moves fast, in a no-frills semi-hardboiled style (with a few Britishisms along the way, a little distracting since the story's set in the U.S.). There's nothing fancy about it, and someone should have made a low-budget black-and-white movie of it in the '50s, with Frank Lovejoy.

I liked Russell's work a lot when I was a kid. Wasp is my favorite of his books, and I remember several short stories ("Dear Devil," "Late Night Final") with affection. Most of the younger SF fans have probably never heard of him.

:: Kinky Friedman Official Site

:: Kinky Friedman Official Site ::

The Kinkster has a new website, and he has a blog. And he's hired a media consultant. This guy is serious about running for governor of Texas. Check it out.

Want To Know What To Read? Storycode.com Will Do the Math: "Want To Know What To Read? Storycode.com Will Do the Math
May 20, 2005
By Rachel Deahl

The notion that taste is personal may have gone the way of eight tracks and Hammer pants. A number of new companies are pioneering a variation of the search engine, known as 'recommendation technology,' which would use hard data to essentially tell consumers what music, movies and clothing they will like . . . even if they don't know it yet themselves. While this software is already present in the book industry—anyone who's ever been startled by Amazon or B&N's seeming omniscience ('Geez, how'd they know I'd love Knitting to the Oldies?') can attest to this—some companies are now gearing up to bring it to readers in a more ambitious way"

You can check out Storycode here.

Elvis Is Still #1 in England

"MR. MUSIC"

Eighteen "Top 5" hits in 2005? No wonder he's The King.

TIME Magazine - ALL-TIME 100 Movies

TIME Magazine - ALL-TIME 100 Movies

Yes, another list you can read and disagree with. Check it out.

Howard Morris, R.I.P.

news from me: "Howie died yesterday at the age of 85. It was not a surprise -- he'd been in poor health for some time -- but it still hit me like a stone lobbed through the window of the Mayberry Sheriff's Station by Ernest T."

I remember Morris best as Earnest T. Bass on The Andy Griffith Show, and I still think that those episodes are classics, but I saw him earlier on comedy shows like Your Show of Shows. He was a very funny guy. The link above will give you a couple of links to watch if you have the time. Check 'em out.